stalker

I'm your stalker. Not in real life silly, here on the world wide web. I check blogs at least several times a day. Usually, you haven't updated. Wah. I do this in an effort to not do anything at all. That's bad. Really really bad. Especially when yesterday my house looked as if it had puked itself up. I hate that. But its better today. I am not better though. I'm still having sinus issues and it feels as if my brain has puked itself up. I'm tired and worn out and if T weren't here, I'd be in bed. I did take my liquid codeine and that helped very very much, but I still feel awful. Bleh.

We have story time at the library today. Thank goodness for someone else who reads these blasted books. And Nana and Pa are coming in, who are also T's Nana and Pa. She has to nap and we have some movies for her. And of course there are two meals to eat today, so it won't feel like she is here that long, right? Did I tell you that she is here an average of 50 hours a week. Thats a lot folks. That's about 200 hours a month. That is more than I worked while I was pregnant and getting paid well.

haha

I saw this quiz over at Rachels. I typed in Magdalena's name and this is what popped out:

Magdalena may explode without warning

M EXPLOSIVE

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com


Very very very true. :)

How do you turn this thing off? 

Here just give me the camera and I'll chew on that. 

I bet if we put that camera up, I can eat.  

I'm a tired, tired girl. Is it bedtime yet? 

Rise and Shine

New week-- I'm up again at what feels like the crack of dawn. I'm much more rested though. Yesterday I slept in until noon! Well, I nursed and slept off and on, but it was wonderful. I have some sort of sinus issue right now and I'm not feeling to great. Magdalena sounds really congested so I'm going to look for something to help her out. I kept picking her up last night and laying at a forty five degree angle to help drain some stuff out of there. I figured that if my nose drains when I change positions that must work for her too. She is becoming such a little person. When I lay her down to sleep at night, she doesn't usually stay in the position I layed her in. Like a "real" person, she moves around in her sleep now. She also knows where the food comes from because during the day she takes a nose dive into my shirt when she's hungry. She was doing that when Erichs grandma was here, luckily she found it funny.

While they were here for Memorial Day, somehow the conversation shifted to breastfeeding. Erichs Grandma was telling us how they are now suggesting that you breastfeed until six months. **add shock and horror in right here** And that a lady at their church breastfed until at least two years and she thinks that that is a little to long. **add dropped jaw here** Erich and I just kinda looked at each other and just kept eating. I know the older she gets, this is going to be a subject that is approached much. **sigh** I was really proud of my mother in law though. :) She said that she got pregnant with Erich right after she stopped nursing Mitch, E's older brother. So Mitch and Erich are 23 months apart, which means that Mitch nursed until he was 14 months old! :) So I guess I have an excuse until for a little less than 10 months on why I should still nurse. :)

Today, I'm taking T and Magdalena to see Alicia. T can wear her self out play with the boys and Alicia and I can get some light shopping done. Should be tons of fun, right? Probably not. :) (Accept the part of hanging out with Alicia, that is always fun!) I'm not sure that Alicia is loving my new up at the crack of dawn self. :) She was used to me coming in the afternoon, but now since I have T and I'm up and need to be home by 3, I come earlier. I guess she could tell me to stay at home right? Okay I should make breakfast and hit the road. Have a wonderful day.

Daddy got a new toy! (This picture was taken by himself.) 

Erich and Magdalena show off the first harvest of the year... lettuce! 

Alton

The Thermochemical Joy of Cooking

blah blah

I'm having the hardest time making up titles. Anywho. The week is over! Yay! I woke up at 5am this morning. Damn, that is early. Luckily, T wasn't all the way awake and we just laid her on the couch and she went back to sleep. So I went back and snuggled into bed next to my wonderful family. Erich woke up before me and took care of T while I slept a bit longer. (Taking care of her was basically giving her a couple of stickers and turning on cartoons, but hey beggars can't be choosers.) We had a late breakfast at 8:30 and then headed off to a meeting of The Milk League. It was a nice meeting and T was able to play with other kids which I think is important for her. Since her old babysitter had a ton of kids there, I don't want her to get lonely here without any other kids her age. One of the other Mommies brought a "Mommy's helper" (a teenager) and that girl was sent straight from the heavens! She kept all of the older kids entertained and it didn't get loud or anything like last time. We were able to talk continuously for about an hour and a half. Although it wasn't about the topic this time, Bringing Home Baby, it was super excellent and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I think I am starting to connect with another lady too and we are getting along nicely. Beautiful. :)

We came home and I made lunch and then struggled to get T to take a nap. I appreciate that this four year old takes a nap. Believe me. Except that her nap and Magdalena's "schedule" are colliding. I've never set a schedule for Magdalena, she has sorta created her own and I just follow her flow. T needs me to lay down with her to fall asleep since she is used to laying down with other kids. I could lay down and nurse Magdalena with her but I'm not comfortable nursing her laying in bed with T. I'm not quite sure why. T is having trouble with the concept of breastfeeding. The LLL library wasn't there today, so I wasn't able to get any books for her that I know are in there. Her mom is going to talk to her tonight.

When T did fall asleep (around 2:30) she actually slept until 5:30! I went upstairs to make sure she was alive. She must have been really tired, cause she usually only lays down for 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours. During that period of time I worked on dishes and picked up the living room. I also went through some totes and produced two full totes for Erich to sell in his Garage sale tomorrow. (We don't have a garage so does that make it more of a Rummage sale?) Anyways, I'm hoping that will make him a happy boy.

In other news, Magdalena has almost mastered that whole sitting thing. She only stays for about three minutes, but it is with her hands on her knees and looking up. I'm so proud of her! She loves to stand too. She isn't a fan of being on the floor and I wouldn't be surprised if she skipped the whole crawling phase and went straight for walking. :)

Okay I should go shine my sink. I also want to call Alicia since it is after 9 now. :)

Didn't I say no more pictures? 

Mother, must you bother me with that stinking camera again? 

Don't ya hate when you kick all the books out of your reach? 

Long Day

Yesterday was a good day, but very long. When T got here she chalked on the sidewalk and watched some cartoons while I made breakfast. After breakfast, she played with her tea set while Erich backed up the Commodore that he sold on eBay. We all left and went to the post office to have it weighed then went to the big park and the library. I checked out some books for her and the Lion King 1/2. When we got back, Alicia and her kids arrived and they all played. Alicia and I made a very kid lunch, hamburgers, baked beans, Mac n cheese, and some cookies. After lunch they went outside and played with sidewalk chalk some more. They were getting a bit restless to run, so we took them to the playground behind a school about two blocks away and let them run wild for about 45 minutes. This was a great idea and I imagine I'll be doing that almost daily. I need to remember a blanket or the sling though to nurse Magdalena. I took her in the stroller so she would have a place to sleep and I'd have a place to set her if I had to go rescue someone. There were other kids on the playground with some older ladies watching them and I felt uncomfortable without a blanket.

T instantly fell asleep when she layed down for her nap. After she left I watched "Under the Tuscan Sun" which I borrowed from the library. I cleaned up a bit and Magdalena and I were in bed at 9pm last night. I just got up about half an hour ago and Gracy has gone out to pee and is eating on the deck. Ella is asleep upstairs under the bed and Erich and Magdalena are still sleeping too. I've taken a shower (yay an accomplishment) and now just waiting for T to get her today. I'm starving.

All this playing has worn Magdalena out. I think it's time for a nap. 

Can you tell how busy I've been today? 

Alilcias kids and T busily working. 

Magdalena and Alicia model the new hat.  

What time is it?

My dear dear friends I sit here writing this entry at 7am! I've been up for over an hour now. Today is the first day T is over here to stay the day. I'll be in bed tonight at 8pm. :) I had weird dreams all night last night. I dreamed I was in a tornado last night. I think with all of this tornado craziness that has been going on in Indiana has sunk deep into my brain. I also dreamed that during the tornado I accidentally tore some dudes earring out and then my ear hurt as a consequence. This is most likely because my dear dear daughter found my earring the other day with her tiny fists. My friends, having my earring ripped out of my ear is my very. greatest. fear. Next to things like death and car accidents and Mother Natures little mishaps. Needless to say it was an intense 30 seconds trying to unpry her little fist.

I'm now waiting for Erich to wake up with the baby and come down so we can have breakfast. I'm a hungry girl. I never eat breakfast, but I think if I got up this early everyday (which I have to now) then I'll be having some breakfast. I predict my milk supply increasing with three balanced meals a day. The really ironic part of being up so early is that I called Alicia and she wasn't awake! That is simply crazy I tell you. I feel like my sentences this early are coming out in a very weird way. Oh well. I must go root around in the kitchen.

Magdalena enjoys her first solo swing ride at the park. 

This picture was from our visit with Erichs grandparents and parents on Memorial Day. Notice that Erich, his dad, and grandpa all look alike. I know what I have to look forward to! :) 

Magdalena enjoys a spring day with her Daddy. (she is saying "whee!") :) 

Sunday

Wow, what a week. Erich has been home the entire week so it has really thrown off my perception of time. Lets see, what did I do this week?

Well, one day this week I went out to see Alicia and my cousin Teresa. I picked up the pictures that we had done with the triplets (which are pretty darn awesome!). We all spent some lovely time together at which point Alicia and I headed off to our favorite destination-- Walmart. (We don't really enjoy Walmart, it just seems that we always go there! It is easier ((sometimes)) because we can divide and conquer.) Anyways, after we went to Walmart we went back to her house where she waxed my manbrows eyebrows. Ouch! But as Alicia said, I look more like a girl now. Gee thanks. :)

Erich spent a ton of time with Magdalena this week. She is responding much better to him too. He has also been working on his online classes a lot and has discovered the joys of a four and half month old at the keyboard. This child wants. to. type. I came in here one time to find him watching a lecture while notepad was open and she was typing up a storm! (and loving it! She has a giant smile on her face!) Another time I heard a lecture going with this odd lullaby type music going on. I came in to find him showing her snippets of Baby Einstein videos while watching his lecture. Too cute!

Another really great thing happened this week. Erich and I have been skimming by the seat of our pants financially since the loss of a second income. My other cousin called to tell me she was sick of her babysitter who does nothing and was wondering if I'd watch her daughter, T. So I jumped on the opportunity and it is going to be great. That extra few hundred dollars a month will be a tremendous help! She'll be going to preschool in the fall, but I have plans for us to work on writing her name. We're also going to take walks to the park and library and hopefully join the summer reading program at the library. I need to check on the storytimes for both girls too. They offer a Lorax storytime and a Tiny Tots (ages 6mo to 24mo). We also have a tiny pool (actually it's pretty freaking big) on the deck so both girls can play in that. If I'm even luckier we might do some lessons in dusting, sweeping, and washing diapers. Ha! Just kidding. I expect we'll keep busy and hopefully provide more entertaining blog entries!

Erichs parents went to Missouri Friday and brought back his paternal grandparents. They have yet to meet Magdalena, so they are coming tomorrow for lunch. We're having butterfly cut porkchops, peas, mac n cheese, homeade dinner rolls, and baked potatoes. Cinnamon steusel and coffee for desert. I've been busy trying to put our house back together because flylady flew right out of my window when I was about 8 1/2 months pregnant and she hasn't shown back up again. Maybe with the new babysitting and having to get up earlier and take less naps **sniff** I'll achieve more around the house. :)

Okay, more diapers call my name and we're going to walk to the video store to get a video and procrastinate from cleaning take a break from cleaning.

Lord of the Rings obviously bores Magdalena. Don't they look alike in this picture? :) 

Could you be...

the most beautiful girl in the world!!!

You can go to this site and see lots of Magdalena! One picture will take you to her fotolog, another will take you to a page where you can see little snippets of her in real life action, and another will take you to her blog. :) My hubby has been hard at work.

Eventually we hope for a fotolog picture to take you to a gallery type place, but we don't quite know how to install it as of yet!

Erich is home this week on vacation so I'll either blog tons, or none at all. :) It's nice having him home. Like right now, Magdalena is in his lap not shrieking at me and I've browsed nursing apparel websites and folded some laundry and composed this entry without interruption! :) Yay!

She is chewing on stuff these days. Hardcore chewing. She chomps on my fingers, Mr. Elephant, her own fingers. Everyone insists that she is teething, but she isn't flailing about and screaming. I don't feel bumps on her gums. Maybe one spot is a bit "sharp" but I never really felt around there enough to know if it is a change from something before. I find it hard to believe that she is teething so young. Maybe it is denial. I'll really miss that big gummy grin when those beautiful teeth appear. She'll be cute then, but I'll miss those gums. :) She won't ever have that gummy grin again (unless she loses her teeth later in life, which still won't be cute!). Oh well, we'll see. Maybe she will be one of those wonderful babies that just chew and chew and chew and pop teeth without all that screaming! :) One can hope right?

We all ventured out to the library this morning. It's cool outside (well 71 degrees, but compared to ninety and humid it's cool!) so it was perfect to put her in the stroller with Mr. Elephant and her blanket on walk on over to the book place. Erich checked out Lord of the Rings parts 1 and 2 and is currently watching those. I checked out some Dr. Seuss for Magdalenas daily reading sessions and Monsters INC (I love that movie!) and a Baby Einstein video (to see what all the fuss is about). This particular one speaks in several languages and while I find it rather dull, Magdalena seems to enjoy some of it. (note: do not leave me a comment telling me of the dangers of TV watching. I've read the warnings, I'm an educated mom, and I'm not sitting her in front of the ol' telly 23 hours of the day.)

Anyways, I checked out a book (something like the new moms guide or something, pure crap in it if you ask me) and while looking at this particular section I found this book called "Bottlefeeding without Guilt". I looked at the back and it said how the book discussed how to store and mix etc etc etc, nutritional facts and cost saving tips for different kinds of formula (cause if you do use formula, you're gonna be broke apparently) and last but not least... **drum roll**.... THE OVERSELLING OF THE BREAST! That made my blood pressure jump at least a few notches. A) How can you oversell something that is perfection? and B) How many damn commercials do you see on TV telling you breastfeed your baby? NONE! Sure some formula commercials will say "switch between breast and bottle" or in fine print on the TV that not even beyond perfect vision can read "breast is best." It enraged me I tell you. Bah. I had to get that off my chest. Anyways, we're off to our lazy lives. Magdalena needs a nap and I still have taped ER reruns from this morning to finish watching. (Yes, Alicia, I know I'm a freak!)

Speaking of Alicia, she is my cousin and she has started up her own blog! So go on over there and give her a little shout out and say "hello!" :)

Erich shares the joy of reading and the love of knowledge with Magdalena. 

I'm gonna get you! 

Sitting pretty! 

12 years ago...

my father died. I miss him so much. I wish he were here to kiss Magdalena on the forehead and tell her how much he loves her, as I'm sure he would. I missed him the day I was married, I missed him even more when I got pregnant, and it's almost unbearable how much I miss him now.

This poem gave me comfort.

Safely Home
I am home in Heaven, dear ones;
Oh, so happy and so bright!
There is perfect joy and beauty
In this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over,
Every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever,
Safely home in Heaven at last.

Did you wonder I so calmly
Trod the valley of the shade?
Oh! but Jesus' love illumined
Every dark and fearful glade.

And He came Himself to meet me
In that way so hard to tread;
And with Jesus' arm to lean on,
Could I have one doubt or dread?

Then you must not grieve so sorely,
For I love you dearly still:
Try to look beyond earth's shadows,
Pray to trust our Father's will.

There is work still waiting for you,
So you must not idly stand;
Do it now, while life remaineth-
You shall rest in Jesus' land.

When that work is all completed,
He will gently call you home;
Oh, the rapture of that meeting,
Oh, the joy to see you come!
---Author Unknown--

Comments, again

When installing Blogger comments, I did not realize that you would have to have a user name to sign in, or you had to post anonymously. I don't like that feature. So on my list of things to do today, is to switch back to Haloscan.

Today we tried out the hip carry in the Maya Sling. I do these new carrys with Erich home so he can be the extra two hands that are required sometimes when figuring out the new hold. (I'm overly cautious, I wouldn't want to drop her on her head!) She has superb head control and really has since about two months. We got her on the hip in the sling and went to do dishes. It worked out great. I was able to do the dishes and think that I could probably do laundry like that also. Magdalena LOVES the water. She loves being in it and she loves watching it. So she just watched the water and the suds the entire time. There is an aquatics class for babies 6mos and older offered by the hospital where she was born. I think that would be a fun activity for us and a way to get her in the water early. She'll be "qualified" in July, so I think we will do that this summer.

In other news, Magdalena is on the verge of sitting up! She is really really working hard on that! :) With the warm weather we've also been doing coverless diapering so it keeps me on my toes a lot more. So we've been very busy around here!

Everybody's Doing It

Try Sex!

Tears

I switched the comments over and went back to read the comments from when Magdalena was born. I'm about to cry. I have met SO many wonderful, beautiful, incredible women. You are all so strong, compassionate and sweet. I feel like I have many many friends through this little space. You can ask Erich, I'm always talking about how I relate to so and so, how I chatted with such and such on AIM, how so and so is so cool and I wish they were closer. He's been impressed with all of you wonderful ladies. I've printed out the comments from when I went to the hospital, when she was born, and a few days afterwards. I'm going to put them in her baby book box so later she can read the comments from all of the wonderful ladies who were waiting with baited breath for her to come into this world. You guys truly rock.

Comments

I'm trying out these new groovy comment feature from Blogger. Lets see if this is better. It does offer comment notification which I truly enjoy I tell ya. :)

16 weeks

Magdalena has been on this earth for 16 weeks now. It's been a whirl wind. At the doctors office yesterday, she weighed 12lbs 2oz and 22 1/2 inches long. She's tiny! She is still absolutely perfect and I was pleased to hear the doctor say, "I wouldn't be in a rush to start her on solids!" Yay, because I wasn't going to! :) She is doing all sorts of cool stuff. She sits in the boppy with just her hips supported, she rolls from stomach to back, and if we are laying in bed and she sees the opportunity to nurse she'll roll from her back on over! She can grab her toes and fingers and follow you with her eyes. She laughs out loud constantly and is always chattering about something. Today she discovered Ella and watched her "clean up" the kitchen. She LOVES to play in the exersaucer, on the activity mat, and on her tummy. She is really into toys these days. With the increase with playing, she likes to nurse and cuddle a lot more in the mornings and the evenings. This is part of the reason blogging is at a minimum since she occupies so much more time. She can play on her own, but she also likes for me to play with her. She can stand with help from her Mommy or Daddy and loves to do that and giggle. She really is a cool little baby!

Case of the Blahs

I've had a major case of the blahs lately. Just can't seem to shake the darn things, though I seem to be coming around. Magdalena and I have been taking daily walks, which may be helping a bit. My mom bought Magdalena an exersaucer this week. Well actually what happened is I went to see my cousin Alicia and we took Magdalena to Babies R Expensive to see if she would like the exersaucer. The thing is freaking expensive so I wanted reassurance. She did in fact enjoy the thing a ton. So we went to Target and found one cheaper that folds easily (yay we can take it to grammy's house!) and so I called my mom from there and told her that Magdalena was in love with the exersaucer and how it would make my life SO much easier. (heh) I could hear my stepdad in the back saying "go ahead, you can buy it for her, I don't care!" So Grammy said yes and M has an exersaucer. She isn't heavy enough to make the seat sag so she can actually make it "bounce" but she can touch the bottom with her feet and she can rock that thing like crazy. I swear her eye hand coordination has improved DRASTICALLY since buying it. It may just be the curve she is on, but ya know I tell my mom it's because she bought the exersaucer. **wink wink**

I am getting so much more done. With much more playtime, Magdalena has been taking better naps again. I was able to do a lot of laundry yesterday and clean the carpet in the basement with the steam cleaner and some oxyclean. Those damn dogs took advantage of me but everyone is once again house trained since the arrival of Miss Diva. Erich also tracks down there as the workshop is down there. Nobody said white colored Berber was a good idea, but I didn't put it in. :) Anyways, it looks much better, and improves my mood as I go downstairs to do laundry. Yeehaw.

Magdalena within the last week has learned to grab her toes, grab toys and stick them in her mouth, sit with some assistance, and laugh. She has been laughing for several weeks, but this week she has been laughing a lot. As she is getting more interested in toys, life is getting easier to entertain her. She is an exceptional learner, which I add up to all that wonderful breastmilk! :)

Speaking of breastmilk, Magdalena and I went to our first La Leche League meeting. It was nice to talk to people though I still feel a bit more "crunchy" then these ladies, but it was interaction. And I was able to talk to people and not be embarrassed about having a baby grabbing at my breast a lot. :) I even latched her on while giving an answer to a question and not feeling nervous that I was going to flash someone. :)

Magdalena and I went to the library this week. I got a new library card because it had been a while since I used mine. I had been using Erichs because I thought mine had some fines on it. The erase your name if the card hasn't been used for two years so score on my part! We checked out some books on family nutrition, home organizing, and some parenting magazines which I disagree with about 75% of the stuff in there. Oh well.

Today I received a Mothers Day card from my MIL which shocked the hell out of me! It contained a check for $100 instructing me to buy some diapers! Yee haw! I went straight to the computer and bought a dozen from the Kissaluvs outlet store which has colors! yay! That excited me I tell ya! My mom bought me some flowers for the four boxes we have on the porch. The porch looks great and makes you happy when you walk in the house. Have I ever mentioned that my Mom rocks? I didn't used to appreciate her as much as I do now. She is really great to Erich and Magdalena and has given Magdalena a TON of stuff that we probably wouldn't have been able to buy her (like the exersaucer). :)

We cut some flowers this morning and took them to my Grandma. They were flowers that were already in full bloom and about to die in the next couple of days but I clipped some mint and put that in the vase and they really looked beautiful. We took her out for a muffin and coffee and she seemed to enjoy that and loved the flowers.

We bought buffalo chx pizza for my mothers day present and it rocks. I love that pizza. :)

We are going to my Moms house tomorrow. Her sister is flying in from Texas tonight and we'll all celebrate Mothers Day together. The sister that is coming in, is the Mom of my other cousin that had triplets. Remember her? This is the first time she'll see her triplet grandbabies, so that should be exciting. I'm sure after spending five or so days in that tiny house with the triplets, she may be ready to go home. heh. Though, my aunt did have 10 kids so it may not phase her. (hey, we're mexican, what do you expect! hahaha) We are going to go on Monday and have pictures taken again of them all so that should be fun. My mom is also going to look for some 0-3 month summer clothes. The summer clothes we have are 3-6 which is still pretty big on my tiny girl. I was beginning to worry about weight gain, but I've noticed that Magdalena has grown in length considerably judging by where her feet hit on the carseat, so that makes me feel better.

Erich is telling me that Magdalena is hungry, so that means I must get up. Sorry about the absence of blogging. I'm feeling a lot better so should sit down more often now. :)

World's Cutest Hoosier Fan

See it here!

I don't wanna grow up...

I'm a Toys R Us kid....

Magdalena has taken interest in toys lately. It is quite fun and cute. Here is a picture of her playing.

Yet Another Meme

Since I'm having a hard time writing, I'll keep up with this meme thing and maybe you'll learn something about me!

Tuesday Twosome

Sleep:

1. Side of the bed: Left or Right? Right

2. Sleep with or without covers? I sleep with covers but usually have one leg thrown over the covers.

3. Sleep with or without night light? No night light, but we did have one in the hallway on the way to bathroom while I was pregnant.

4. Deep or light sleeper? Pretty deep, though I generally know where Magdalena and Erich are in the bed at all times to keep from people squishing people and such. It must be my new sixth sense.

5. More annoying to be awoken by: alarm or phone call? The alarm is pretty annoying, as it tends to wake up Magdalena too. We have a cell phone only so the phone doesn't ring all over the house. When I worked in nursing homes, I would always be getting a phone call at 4 or 5 in the morning, asking me to come in and cover a shift. Those phone calls were incredibly annoying.

Participation Positives

I'll try this meme and see if it gets me out of the hum drums.

Things I'm grateful for:

1. A beautiful, healthy, happy, smiling baby to brighten my life.
2. A handsome hunk of a husband.
3. Starting the upstairs batheroom redo, even though it's only 1/2 way done now.
4. Spending time with friends this past weekend.
5. Pretty flowers in the yard.
6. Clean diapers.
7. Laundry started.
8. Dishes clean.
9. Pot roast in the crockpot.
10. Iron Chef America: Battle of the Masters on TV all weekend.

Mutterings

I need to find a way to get back into blogging, so maybe I'll try the mutterings this week.

1. Elastic:: bad
   
2. Intervention:: control
   
3. Risk:: management
   
4. Junk food:: chips
   
5. Arrogance:: jerk
   
6. Responsibility:: sucks
   
7. X:: rated
   
8. Marshall::fields
   
9. Kill:: bill
   
10. Brother::where art thou
    

Failure (part 2)

I've somewhat corrected the situation, though the failure sucks. I've disappointed Erich and that hurts immensely. I wish I could crawl into a hole somewhere. There is no excuse for my screw-up.

Failure

I screwed up on a bill related thing. Erich left mad at me. I'm sitting here crying and now I hear the baby crying. What a great way to start the day.

12 weeks 1 day

Well, it has been 12 weeks and 1 day since Magdalena Eusevia was born. Wow, time flies and what a journey it's been. This little girl is still wearing 0-3 month clothing. And she still has a bit of room! I have put 1 or 2 3-6 month outfits on her and they are still super big. Oh well. Just today she learned to roll from her stomach to her back. Yeehaw, that made me happy. She is successfully finding her fingers to suck on and can successfully latch herself on to the breast with minimal help. She has been holding her head up with more and more ease and now tries to actually sit up. This girl wants to move! She talks to us now for what seems like hours. She coos and gurgles and always wakes up with a smile. She naps like a champ which Mommy loves. She recognizes both Mommy and Daddy and doesn't tolerate other people that long. When putting pressure on her feet, she'll hold her entire body up with just our hands to keep her from falling over. She is 100% breastfed and cloth diapered. And she is simply amazing.

If The Shoe Fits

I just took a really cool picture. See it here.

Baby On the Go

Magdalena just rolled from her stomach to her back! Yay!

Bah

Like Jennifer, I have a case of the blahs. It was a very long weekend. Erichs friend accidentally cut off two of his fingers. Not his whole finger mind you, to the first joint on the two middle fingers of his left hand (also his non-dominant hand.) So that in itself made the weekend emotionally draining. I, having seen worse, was trying to make the situation brighter than how his friends viewed it. They all said, oh no he'll never play a guitar. And I said, hooray it wasn't his entire hand, or a whole finger. And thank Goodness he wasn't degloved or... the list goes on and on. Oh, this unfortunate accident happened while mowing and using a tiller. So you are now warned.

Miss Diva is laying on the floor making cooing and cackles that have turned into the "I'm not happy cackle and I'm giving these as a warning to you before I bring out the full wail. Are you listening to me?" So I must go.

I will ask this question I've been wondering about though.

Are you using disposable diapers or cloth? (Or what do you think you would use?) Why or why not?

We use cloth. The main reason is because we are really stinking poor. And we want to save the planet!

Okay she's royally ticked off now. Must go.

Linky

Erich thought this movie clip was funny. I'm neutral.

Grammar

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Say Cheese

Lookee here!

Update

After constant nursing and a bottle of tylenol (yes I'm being sarcastic), my migraine has subsided into a tiny pain in my ass and my boob feels tons better. It reached sixty degrees here today but I was unable to take a walk because I was waiting for the cable guy. When he did arrive at 2:30 (and as luck would have it, right as I was about to whip out a boob for another feeding), it took him two and a half hours to do the installation. Why you ask? He said that all the wiring had to be updated. They make him do that before they install anything. The dude had to rewire the whole cable connection stuff. He said that the splitter (?) in the basement was from the eighties. I told him that the last time someone did that stuff was probably before or at the time my parents bought this house. (we bought this house from my mom) My dad will be dead 12 years next month so you know it's been forever ago. He said he was simply amazed that our cable modem even worked. He was all giddy, and took the splitter to show his boss. He left saying, "my boss will never believe this!" Glad I could make your afternoon of hell enjoyable cable guy!

With everyone complaining of rain and then hoping for May flowers I had to mention that we will have 400 bulbs coming up soon. Yes you read that right. 400. My MIL and FIL have a landscaping business and came up on good deal on bulbs last year. They ended up with something like 17,000 bulbs and were going around planting like crazy (they bought them really late in the year). They planted the bulbs at our house when I made Thanksgiving dinner. And I believe they were still throwing some in the ground a few weeks back in hopes that they would still make it. I can't help but two things. (A) All of those flowers will be very beautiful and (B) our neighbors are going to think we are absolute freaks. Can you imagine all of those bulbs coming up? It will be interesting and of course I'll post pictures. Also, I'd like to know who is going to come dig up some of the damn things when they begin to mulitply. But that is a different rant, different post. I'm going to go lay down. Have an AWESOME weekend.

Oy

I have a migraine. I'm in the early stages, but just the "tap tap tap" of the keyboard is killing me. And it started very suddenly which completely sucks. I had wanted to go to Sears and look at clothes dryers. I have a feeling ours will be dying very shortly. My dad bought it when he was alive and he will be dead 12 years in May. So yeah, it's coming up on the end of its lifespan. Thank goodness we don't need a washer. That would be an awful expense (though I would really love a front loader with a second rinse for my dipes.) Erich says we can buy one when we need it. What fun is that? Our kids will be out of diapers if it lasts the "15-20 year" lifespan predicted on washers and dryers. Maybe if I just try to sell the one we have (its sorta new, you can still buy it in the stores) then I could dish out the few extra hundred difference to buy a front loader. Anywho. I'm hoping I still may be able to make it to Sears. (I'm going to figure out what I want then come home and do research and find out if anyone has it cheaper so I can take advantage of the price matching.) I can't leave yet though, cause the cable guy is coming to install digital. Yes yes yes, I know that I complain that things are tight, but really in my defense, it was cheaper to get digital. When you subscribe to digital they knock $10 off the price of broadband, so it worked out to our advantage. ( I asked the lady if they were just trying to get everyone to switch to digital and she said, "yeah well kinda sorta.") They did give us three free coupons to buy pay per view movies with. And the price of a pay per view is the same price in the video store. Go figure.

On top of the migraine, I think I have a small case of mastitis. I do believe I'm running a fever too, but I don't want to check. I contribute this to Magdalena sleeping 9hours last night. I wish that girl would start waking up so I could feed her in the middle of the night. I know that sounds stupid, but my boob hurts and dangit, I spend a majority of my day feeding her (more than I used to) and I just don't feel like things are getting done. I love her to life, and I don't mind feeding her, but my house doesn't run well when I am on the couch all day. :) So I'm going to take some tylenol and wallow in self pity that I have a migraine until I break down and call someone and see which heavy duty drugs I can take while breastfeeding. I'm also going to try putting a hot washcloth and that breast when she eats again and see if that helps push everything out. **fingers crossed** Okay I should probably eat something. Any ideas on curing mastitis?

Heads Up Little Girl!

I was just playing with Magdalena on the floor for a bit of tummy time. I was in front of her and she propped herself up on her elbows and lifted her head to look eye to eye! Strong little girl! She's 10 weeks 1 day old. I'm so proud!

poem

Which poem are you? Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda Aw, you're a romantic. You believe in true love and all that sort of stuff. How cute are you? To you, love is incredible and amazing.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Homework

A Household Meme

Do you have any special routines for Spring Cleaning? Any rituals, semi-annually performed chores, ways of welcoming the warmer weather and preparing your house for it?


I don't really have a spring cleaning routine. I am compelled to deep clean every week or so, though it never seems to get done. When it turns warm though, I LOVE to open all the windows and air the house with smells of spring and life!

To sleep or not to sleep...

Okay! How many co-sleepers out there? How long did they stay in your bed? If you didn't co-sleep, did you have a bassinet in the room for a while?

Magdalena sleeps with us. When set in the crib or bassinet for naps, she screams like I left her forever. She wouldn't even sleep in the bassinet in the hospital. Only one aide bugged me about it. The rest of the staff (who are VERY pro-breastfeeding and wonderful in that area!) realized that breastfeeding relationships are enhanced with co-sleeping so they didn't say a word.

10 weeks

Like Andrea, I always have a list running of things to blog about, yet never seem to get here and then when I do, I'm just to tired and don't know where to start. Anywho. Magdalena is 10 weeks old today! Wow. Where does the time go? She is doing great. She smiles constantly and nurses like a champ. She is in love with her Dolly and likes to sit and talk to us for what seems like hours! (Usually about 20 minutes at a time.) Since Saturday night, she has been sleeping 8 hours straight. While this is sorta exciting, it means my baby is growing up. And it also means that since she is sleeping so long, she is nursing ALL DAY LONG. It doesn't bode well for my house. And "my girls" aren't sure if they like it either since I wake up looking like Dolly Parton with implants. Little Miss Diva still wears 0-3 month clothes and we just bought her an Easter dress. I'm glad I waited on that. I figured that by Easter she would be in 3-6 months and almost bought her one. The Easter dress we bought is 0-3 months and it sorta looks really big on her. She really is a tiny girl. And a happy girl at that, though she is very very hooked to her Mommy, which is okay with me. ;)

Other than that, nothing much going on around here. Just boring, hum drum, SAHM mom stuff. Erich says my blog is boring, but I feel like I have nothing to talk about. I guess I'll just ask ya'll another question.

Good Morning!

New pictures on the fotolog!

Got Gas?

I'm curious, how much is gas where you live? Here in Central Indiana on Sunday afternoon it was $1.75 a gallon. Don't forget to leave the price, what day/time, and the area you live in!

Show Me The Way To Go Home

Rachel used that as a title to one of her entries a few days back. The song, though I really don't know it, sparked a memory of a lady I used to care for in a nursing home. Since that day, this lady has been flooding my mind so I feel the need to share the story. So here goes...

I used to care for this lady (we'll call her Jane) in a nursing home years ago. Jane suffered from old age and dementia. She was bound to a wheel chair, though could stand and pivot on her own. She could also walk about 20ft with a bit of help. Anyways, she was always into trouble. She'd wheel by you in the hallway and pinch you on the bottom. Or she'd wait until there was a crowd of people and come up to you and say, "Did you fart?" And then always just smile this big, wide toothless grin. Everyone adored Jane. She was a lot of fun to be with. At night when we were putting her to bed, we'd kneel down and sing (very off tune) in her ear, "Show Me the way to go home..." and she would bellow out "I'm tired and I wanna go to bed..." When we would lay her down, she'd call out, "are you coming in?" :)

So one day, the state was at the nursing home doing their yearly inspection. The State Inspector was standing at the nurses station where a nurse, Rod, and myself were charting. The Inspector was talking to us and all of a sudden I felt Rod kicking my leg. I was about to turn around and tell him to knock it off when I looked into the lounge and saw Jane topless. When I went to her and tried to put her shirt back on (without the Inspector noticing) she yelled out "I don't wanna do that" I finally got her shirt back on and she started to scoot away in her chair but not without going by the Inspector, pinched his bottom, and asked "Did you fart?" :)

Jane had a husband who was still fully capable of taking care of himself. Everyday her husband would come to the nursing home and feed her her dinner. One day her husband came in and we were all sitting around the feeding tables. I looked over at Jane and she had a very mischievous look on her face and I was really just wondering what she was up to. I looked over at the nurse who was sitting beside me and said, "heads up" and nodded towards Jane. A few minutes later, Jane looked over at her husband with this huge grin and says, "I could ride you all night, Stallion." at which point his face turned beet red and she threw her head back in this very full belly laugh. The nurse and myself couldn't help but bust out in laughter. He just kept saying to her, " you don't say things like that in public!" and she couldn't stop laughing. It is one of my favorite memories of her.

Everybody's Doing It...

Homework: A Household Meme

What time of day do you do most of your housework? Is that by choice or by necessity?

I do housework when the baby sleeps. My mom comes every week day during her lunch break (she works in the town I live in, but lives an hour away since getting married) and I can usually squeeze in a bit of tidying while she plays with Magdalena. I also hand M over to Erich some nights when he isn't busy and get some stuff done too! Good thing we live in a house so I can vacuum at 11pm (like I did last night!).

Say Cheese!

Fotolog is finally cooperating and a new picture is up for your viewing pleasure! This picture explains why I am just the happiest and luckiest woman alive!

Stirring the Pot...

I've lost my followers. Oh well, so if anyone is still out there (((HELLO!!!)))... I'm posing a question.

Did you vaccinate? Why or Why not?

I know Rachel didn't, but Dawn and did. I'm curious about Lili and Jennifer and Emily too. I believe Felicity and Andrea did too.

So lets hear it. :)

Sick Bay

(I think that is a title Rachel has used before. heh.) It's been an awfully long week. I've been sick. (In Real Life it sounds more like "Ah'm siiiiiiiiiiiick." :( It started a sore throat on Monday which I thought was allergies cause of all the dusting I've been doing and the warm temps. (it was in the 50s) Monday night I wasn't feeling well at all with a vice around my ears. I was sneezing, congested, coughing, my ears hurt, and the headache not to mention the aforementioned sore throat. Tuesday morning I had had enough and wanted something strong to treat the symptoms. I went to the doctor and told him, "I want something for symptoms and if I should need antibiotics I don't want them. I don't want to deal with thrush." To which he said, " you're getting to smart for your own good!" Anywho, the medicine has been helping a bit though the runny nose has gotten worse along with the cough, but the vice around my head is gone. Erich now has a sore throat so we've been dosing him up with some tylenol and Vitamin C. Magdalena has been doing great until the night before last when I noticed she was a bit congested. It seems better now, and she hasn't been fussy or acting like she is hurting. We had her two month checkup today, he said she looked a little extra mucousy but not anything to fuss about. She now weighs 10lbs and half an ounce and is 21 and a quarter inches long!!! So she caught up in height with her weight and is beautiful. He said she is obviously not a big (fat!) baby and is beautiful and well behaved. She "talked" to him the whole time he examined her and even opened her mouth and said "ah!" He said she certainly knows how to open her mouth wide! I am convinced that her first word is going to be "wider" because I say it to her almost every time we nurse! She got 3 shots. Erich talked to her, I held her legs, and two ladies gave the shots (two at once, then the third) I cried, M cried, and Erich looked sick. It took me a minute to calm her down enough to nurse her but she eventually nursed and fell asleep. I woke her about 1 to feed her and change her and she fell back to sleep until about 4:30 when I gave her tylenol, changed her and nursed. She nursed again at 630 and again at 830 when I gave her a little more tylenol. Her legs obviously hurt, cause she gives me a hurt cry when I change her diaper, and shes running a very low fever. She is now sleeping and I expect she'll be up before midnight to nurse again and then settle in for the evening. I'm still feeling sick and her feeling bad doesn't make me feel any better. It is so much harder to be sick and be a Mom. It seems there is no one to take care of me! And I can't just crawl into bed, cause she needs me! Anyways, Erich's home now from work so I should go. Have a great weekend.

Busy Little Bee

Things have been super busy around here but for the life of me I haven't a clue what we've been doing!!! Magdalena seems to be getting bigger by the day and sweeter too. She smiles more often and she is gaining control of her voice. She loves it when someone whistles to her and she responds with "oo"s and "ah"s. The other day she cooed in the car to the Dixie Chicks. Her eyelashes have been getting longer to, making her even more beautiful when she sleeps. She recognizes me and more importantly her Daddy. She has discovered the joy of a moving object and loves to lay in the crib and watch the mobile. And that is all she likes to do in the crib. If I lay her for a nap in the crib or the bassinet, she screams as if I've left her forever. Daddy also made a smart move in bringing out the play gym. It buys me time to eat a meal and today she was batting at the toys with her hands. She did it a couple of times with her feet too! She is still eating like a champ without any crutches (the shield) whatsoever. We have discovered the joy of the Maya sling too and she loves to be in there watching people around her, her Mommy, and taking naps on her favorite "pillows." We are very successfully cloth diapering too, which over joys me! I sometimes IM some family members who didn't think it would last. I say, " well I just finished washing a load of diapers! I love cloth diapering!!!" hehehe. I've also got one of Alicia's friends interested in it and I think they'll be coming over later this week to learn of the joys of cloth diapering. I'll be teaching her about the different types of diapers and so forth. I seem to be getting a bit more daring with how often I wash. I've been averaging about twice a week the past two weeks or so, washing on Sunday and Thursday. I washed Thursday the 11th and didn't wash again until this morning!!! We were down to about 7 diapers or so! Eeek! I'm constantly trying to stay on top of the house. The dogs have been spending a major part of the day outside when the weather is above freezing. It helps me accomplish things around here and keeps the "dog smell" at the door which I like. The neighbors may hate me but I do try and get the dogs in around 5 (I let them out around 9 or 10am) when everyone is getting home from work. I better eat soon though, before Miss Diva wakes from her nap. I'll try and stop in more often. :)

Gone Flying

A couple of things to post then I'll be away from the computer for the rest of the day. I have forgotten to mention that I've been hanging out with my cousin lately. She is really really becoming annoying though.

I will be spending the rest of the day doing emergency cleaning using Flyladys detailed cleaning list. My house is in CHAOS and I can't stand it anymore. So I'll be starting on the top floor and working my way down to the basement. Why on Earth did I want a house with three floors anyways? It seems sorta silly to start at the top since most people see the middle ground level floor, but it seems I spend a ton of time upstairs with Magdalena and that is where we all sleep. I want Erich to have a peaceful serene and clean(!) place to sleep since he is so busy.

Oh and by the way, I was just kidding about my cousin being annoying. She has recently started reading this blog (the only family member, and I'd like to keep it that way Alicia.) ;) And I just had to throw something in there that would catch her attention. So everyone leave a comment and say hi to Alicia! :) I'll have to get her to start her own blog...

Friends Are The Best

I called Rachel earlier because I was having a bit of an emotional breakdown. She helped SO much! Thank you so much Rachel. I get paid tomorrow so I'll definitely have to check out her wish list. After all, her birthday is in 19 days and a girl only turns 33 once, right? :)

6 weeks

Magdalena is still doing great. She seems longer to me these days. We are completely out of disposable diapers and we start cloth diapering during the night... tonight! She outgrew the newborn diapers this last weekend (at 5 1/2 weeks!) and we used up all of the samples of size 1 during the night. I'm excited to be done with disposables. She's smiling regularly and holding her head up. She's finding her hands pretty regularly now and is still a joy! Okay she's waking up.. time to eat!

Postpartum Checkup

So my checkup was last Thursday. Magdalena and I got all dressed up and headed out the door for my 9:50am appt. We arrived at 9:45am so we could get settled and be punctual young ladies. ;) At 10:20am, they called us back. By 10:22am I was naked sitting on the table. The whole time I was thinking, "Magdalena is going to wake up and want to be fed right.now. and here I am sitting on this table with the flimsy little paper sheet. I'll get up and as soon as my bare ass is exposed, the doctor is going to walk through the door. I just know it." Well that didn't happen. My little angel slept the whole time! And I was only naked sitting on the table by myself for FIFTEEN MINUTES! Anyways, the doctor came in, did a pap (last repetitive one since the abnormal one last year! woot!), declared me "back to normal" and told me not to get pregnant for at least 6 months. heh. She prescribed the minipill, which while I breastfeed exclusively, I'm not worried about goofing up. But seriously, when M starts eating solids, watch I'll get pregnant. How can you not take that pill the wrong way? Everything and anything seems to affect its "performance." Anyways, we talked about the next time, if I'd have a repeat section. And the answer is yes. M was a very normal size baby in a perfect presentation with a perfect labor and she just didn't fit. She kinda implied she just wouldn't try a normal labor with me because of the risks. But really, I'm okay with that. I suffered infertility. I conceived a child and carried her to full term. I am breastfeeding very successfully. If future babies can't get out the "normal" way, why should I complain? I can have babies right? That's all that matters. Okay, off to run some errands then come home and do some HEAVY DUTY CLEANING.

We're having a heat wave....

a tropical heat wave...

It's 60 degrees! It's gorgeous! A little on the windy side, but beggars can't be choosers, right? I just went out to buy a pound of ground beef and the town just seems alive! This is why I love this small town! Children are outside playing, riding bikes, and enjoying life. The "elders" of the community are all out walking. People have their windows down and sunglasses on and waving to each other again! I went to the cemetery to "check" on my dad (yes he's still there. bad joke.) and I noticed that the local ice cream shop is open! yay! Maybe I'll convince my mom to go get a coke with me at her break time and we can go to the dollar store. I took Magdalena out of the carseat on our errands and placed her in the Maya Sling and she LOVED it. She was able to look around more and study my face and others. People kinda looked at me odd though. oh well. We just got home. I opened up the big window in the living room to let a little of the stale air out. Magdalena is asleep in her carseat (bundled up a bit cause I turned off the heat to open the window). And life feels really good right now. I will have to tell you of our weekend of hell we just lived through, but I don't want to rain on my own parade! :)

5 weeks 2 days

Two entries in one day? Could this be? Maybe three, I have to write about my postpartum checkup. But this is about Magdalena! She's over five weeks old! I can't believe it. She is growing quickly. Pretty soon we'll have a toddler with dark brown pigtails toddling around in here. She is definitely smiling with meaning now. Today she let me put her in the Maya Sling facing me, tummy to tummy, and enjoyed it. She sleeps wonderfully, eats like a champ, and is still a joy. :) Erich comes home everyday and says he can see her getting bigger. I hear him talking to her when he holds her or changes her diaper saying, " I didn't say you could get bigger. Please stay small Magdalena!" Everyone is in love with her it seems. Erich and I have decided that since she turned out so well, that we owe it to the human population to produce an equally, overwhelmingly cute little baby. (Hopefully a boy for his sake!) So maybe next year, around Christmas time, we'll start working on that. **shrugs** It seems weird to talk about another one, and Christmas seems really soon, but Xmas will roll around and it may take a few months and by the time Baby #2 comes around Magdalena would be 2 years old! Isn't that wild? It also all depends on her nursing and my body and everything but wow. Anyways, she is an absolute joy! And we are definitely treasuring every single moment of this!

A Baby Story

We checked into the hospital at 5pm on Tuesday, January 20th. They immediately hooked me up to the monitors, took my BP (still high), and checked my cervix. I was 1cm 90% effaced. They inserted the P-Gel and we waited one hour, then got up and walked for an hour. By 6pm I started having contractions. Came back at 7pm and they inserted more P-Gel which made the little girl jump around (cold gel being shot at your head would make you jump too!). I took off walking and was having more and more contractions. At 9pm, they hit me with one last shot of P-Gel. We walked around the room, but at this point I wasn't really in the mood for walking. The contractions were making me stop and think. We got on the birthing ball at about 10pm and I was geared up to watch Charmed on TV since I had missed the new episode on Sunday (they rerun them on Tuesday nights!). By 10:30 the contractions were starting to really hurt. They declared me in "true" labor because I couldn't concentrate on my favorite TV show. Soon after that, I got into a really hot shower. Oh sweet relief. My mom and Erich were yelling for me to get out because the shower was flooding the room! ha! I got out around 11pm or 11:15. They checked me and I was 2-3cm, completely effaced. Yay! I gladly took the sleeper they offered me and my mom said goodnight. She headed to my house to spend the night and take care of the dogs. She said she didn't sleep a wink though. About 45 minutes after the sleeper, I wasn't asleep, nor did I feel sleepy and I didn't think it was going to work. I had Erich help me off of the bed and on to the birthing ball so I could at least be more comfy. As soon as my hips relaxed a bit on the birthing ball, the sleeper seemed to kick in full gear and I almost fell off! Erich helped me back into the bed and we went to sleep. I don't feel like I really slept though, just in and out of consciousness. I was still contracting, though they seemed to space out a bit.

Wednesday morning they came at 7am and traded nurses. She started my IV in anticipation of my OB to get there. When my OB arrived, she greeted me and gave the go ahead to start Pitocin. She told me I had her blessing for whenever I wanted an epidural, though she knew I didn't want one. By 8:30 the Pitocin was going and I was contracting a lot. Since I was on pitocin, they had to monitor me at all times so no walking and no shower. :( I did stay on the birthing ball for most of the morning and caught "Primetime in the Daytime" on TNT (an episode of Charmed and two ERs). I wasn't really able to fully concentrate though. My mom had made Beef Noodles and brought some to Erich (and left some in the car for me when I could eat again). I was SO hungry and couldn't have anything, it was torture. And my ctx were really picking up intensity. At 11am they switched nurses again. Elaine was the replacement and also the lady I had seen the previous Sunday for a NST. (This is the exact same nurse who I told Erich I hoped would not be my labor nurse.) I was disappointed for her to be there, but oh well. I asked her to check me, she checked and I was 4cm, completely effaced and 0 station. As she checked my water broke. I felt the gush of warm fluid and told them "my water broke" and both her and my mother said "oh, you probably just lost control of your bladder." She tested the fluid and sure enough my water did break. Erich had been out of the room when she was checking me, making some phone calls. When my water broke, I started to cry. I'm not really sure. Part of me was scared for her since she was no longer swimming in her warm home, part of me was scared that this really was happening. And another part was just completely overwhelmed. When Erich came back in, he didn't know why I was crying. They got me up onto the birthing ball and that is when the real "fun" started. Since they started the pitocin, they had been increasing it every 20 minutes. By the time I got on the birthing ball, the ctx were hitting hard with really no relief. They were having trouble with the external monitors and couldn't see the pattern of the ctx. They also had a hard time keeping track of her heartbeat since she was so low in my pelvis. At one point they suggested I get on all fours on the bed and see if I had some relief that way. Erich was getting sick to his stomach watching me because he said he had no control, and couldn't help me. I asked for some IV meds but they prefer to give Nubain, which I'm allergic too. So we had to wait for my OB to get there and suggest something (she was in surgery). By the time she got there it was 2:30 or 3pm. I couldn't sit still, they were getting basically no monitoring, and she didn't want to give something other than Nubain. They couldn't get me to lay still to check to see where I was and they all pushed for the epidural. I didn't want it, but didn't see an end. They were also having trouble monitoring the baby and that worried me. I okayed the epidural and they went looking for the nurse anesthetist. Erich was great, while they were paging, he asked me over and over again if this is what I wanted. He assured me that he wouldn't be disappointed at all if I took the epidural and wouldn't think any less of me.

He left the room for the epidural to be placed and my mom stayed with me. (Erich doesn't like to watch stuff like that.) It was awful. I had to sit still which took great strength. I was crying I hurt I wanted her out and my mom was yelling at me to sit still and listen. But I couldn't. They finally had me lay down on the bed and curl up in a ball. Elaine (who ended up being WONDERFUL) spoke sharply to my mom and said something along the lines of "You aren't helping her. Just hold her hand and be quiet." Way to go Elaine. Elaine then spoke softly to me in my face trying to get me to visualize it. Placing the epidural probably wouldn't have been so hard had I not been in full blown out of control labor. But I was. We finally got the epidural in. I wanted to make sure that I felt NOTHING since I hadn't wanted the stupid thing in the first place. My OB came in and she placed an internal monitor (not the one that screws into the top of the head) and checked me. I was still the same, 4cm, completely effaced, 0 station. She said she'd be back in an hour. At this point I looked at Elaine and she was pushing IV fluid in really fast. I know that this isn't a good thing and asked her what my pressure was. 100/60. She said it was okay, I just needed more fluid. She hung another bag and continued pushing it in. The next pressure was 95/58. She said she was going to go page the nurse anesthetist and she'd be right back. When she came back they moved me onto my left side and she continued pushing the fluid in. My pressure took again. I asked her what it was and she told me not to worry. She was going to go personally find the CRNA and bring her in. I asked my family to look at the monitor, my pressure was 80/48. My first catostrophic thought was, I'm going to die because of this damn epidural and I didn't even want it. The CRNA got there and she gave me medicine to help my blood pressure. They left me to get some rest. At 5pm, Elaine checked me again and I was still the same. They tried turning the pitocin down to see if that would help and said they'd check again at 6pm. If I was the same, we'd have to discuss things again. At 6pm, I was still the same and there was edema on the babys head from where she was pushing into my pelvis. They decided that the best thing was a C-section. Erich was at dinner with his parents and Elaine told someone to run and get him. The called for an anesthesiologist but found out she was stuck doing an appy. They said they would give me until she was done to make some progress, and if not I'd go for the section. Elaine went ahead and prepped me for the surgery, anchored and catheter and so on. She said sometimes as soon as they get you ready, something happens and your body just kicks in. At 7:30 I had made no progress and anesthesia was ready so they transferred me onto another bed. They had been giving me more lidocaine through the epidural and I was almost numb to the nipple line. They transferred me onto the bed and wheeled me into the OR. I passed all of my family on the way out of my room.

It was really weird to be in the OR on the table. I'm so used to being on the other side. It was really hot in there ready at almost 80 degrees because the thermostat was broken. The prepped my belly and draped me. My OB came in and I remember who touching my belly saying, "the u/s said this baby was only 7lbs, but she feels A LOT bigger!" Oh, when she came in she said, "there is one really nervous dad out there!" I think Erich was more terrified then myself. He didn't know what to expect and he passes out at the sight of bloody stuff. When they brought him in he sat next to me and I smiled at him, told him I wasn't scared and he said, " I'm breathing, I'm breathing, I'm breathing..." all while taking big deep breathes. The OB said she had just pinched and twisted with a clamp and hadn't said a thing so we were ready to go. The first part of the section wasn't bad. It felt like someone was trying to tickle me but couldn't. I could tell which layer they were on by the talk going on in the OR. When they got to her, they did the whole pressure that felt like an elephant is sitting on your chest. I could hear the tech ask, " is the baby just really big?" and the OB say, " no, this baby is WEDGED." After what seemed like an eternity, they got her head out of my pelvis and she started to cry. I could hear them say, "She is cute!" and I just started to cry. They pulled the rest of her out of me and the OB said, "wow she is TINY!" :) I could hear Erich yelling out, " oh my God, Oh my God, she's mine! She's ours! oh my God!" (probalby the most excited I've ever seen Erich by the way.) I just couldn't stop crying. The last half of the section was the worst. Erich was at the warmer taking pictures. They said that some people start to feel nauseous when they massage the fundus to get it to clamp down. And I did feel nauseous. I asked over and over, "please give me something for the nausea, please please please." Then I started to dry heave. This was the worst dry heaving experience ever because I'm laying flat on my back, dry heaving, while someones hands were inside of me pushing the opposite direction of my diaphragm. Yuck. She gave me something and the relief was awesome. But then they started to irrigate and it it sorta hurt. Kinda like sharp gas pains. Anesthesia gave me duramorph through my epidural. (Morphine through the epidural) and the relief was very instant. I suddenly felt extremely tired, as the whole day caught up to me. Erich got scared because I literally fell into a sleep within 5 seconds of the duramorph. Duramorph is great because it lasts 24hrs. :) They brought the baby to me to see and then Erich went with them to the nursery. Magdalena Eusevia was born at 8:14pm. She weighed 6lbs, 10 oz, and was 19" long.

yeah

I had my postpartum checkup today. Details to follow tomorrow. Magdalena slept last night from about 11pm to 4:45am. At first I thought it was 1:45 and thought to myself , WHY? But then I realized it was 4:45 and I fell in love with her all over. And it's a good thing she woke up because my boobs were about to explode! I did have to keep her awake from like 630 to 11pm but that's OKAY. So we are doing that now. Oh, and she gets a bath every night now. It seems to relax her and get her ready for bed. Not that she needs a routine, but she enjoys it and I love a good smelling baby. I also seem to like it because of the cloth diapers. I wipe her really well when I change her diaper, but it makes me feel better that she gets a nice soak at night. I always lather her way up with that soothing bedtime lotion and you can see her get drunk with that feeling of sleep. Then we all go lay down, nurse, and fall asleep. It really is a lovely routine. And I love to see her so happy in the tub. The only part she doesn't like is that first moment when you get out. Erich and I always run the hairdryer in the bathroom when we take baths so that we have extra warmth. So we've been putting her towel a bit in front of the hairdryer so that it is nice and toasty, and I can pick her up and put her in a warm towel in her Daddy's arms. It's probably an awesome feeling! And with Erich leaving in the mornings to go to school at 8am then to work directly afterwards and not coming home until 9 or 10pm, it is really nice to have that half hour of family time before bed. :) Okay ER is coming on soon, Erich will be home soon, and I got "clearance" at the OB's office. It's going to be a good night... ;)

Ebay commericals....

drive me nuts. They always get the stupid song stuck in my head.

I haven't been avoiding you. Just sincerely busy. I do spend a ton of time nursing, and it seems as soon as I lay her down and start something (a project, a meal) she wants me again. It is sometimes annoying, but she doesn't scream bloody murder so I can handle it. She is the sweetest baby ever I'm just starting to feel tons better and have motivation. I am really tired now though, and I think that could partly be because of the surgery. I should start taking naps with her in the afternoons again. Just think, when the next one comes, I won't be able to enjoy the extended napping because I'll have a toddler to deal with! How sad.

I'm also feeling a bit off lately. Not depressed. Weird. Like something isn't quite right. Everyone keeps asking if I'm pregnant. I think if I were I'd crawl in a hole. Erich says it would be "a blessing in disguise." Postpartum checkup on Thursday. Anyways, I should get going. I'm working on the birth story. Slowly. Happy Fat Tuesday!

30 days

I have about two minutes before the Princess wakes up. Shes been asleep since we got home at 1130 from the doctors office. She got a shot and it was a spectacle. She cried, I cried. and the nurse almost cried too. (probably at the sight of me!) We nursed right after and all is well. I told her it probably hurt me more and cringed at hearing myself say the load of bologna my mom always told me that I hated. But, **sigh**, it's true. She probably doesn't remember it now and I remember it VERY clearly. Anywho, she now weighs... drum roll... 8lbs 5.5oz!!!! Thats 22oz in two weeks, or 1.5oz a day! Way to go Mommy! :) And she is an inch longer. She really is growing. **tear** Shes a very cool little girl. She has put herself on a loose schedule but tends to eat all morning, take a long afternoon nap, and eat and look around in the evenings. At night, she takes a bath (which she loves) and then we nurse and she sleeps between 3-5 hours. After that she goes back to waking every 2-3 for meals. She is really on the verge of smiling with meaning and always wakes up with a smile on her face. She really is the bright light of our lives and we feel truly blessed. :) Okay, 1 minute left to finish eating my pototaes and get to her!

I suck

I really suck at blogging lately. I think about something I should blog about literally twice a day, but never come around to do it. :( Magdalena, her daddy, and I are doing great. Erich and I are loving parenthood and finding it quite easy, actually. Everyone said how rough it would be and how we would be so frustrated and tired, but really that isn't happening. Magdalena is a very happy content baby and rarely cries. When she does cry, it starts out as little grunts and frowns and generally revolves around her diaper or eating. We are now starting to transition more into cloth diapers. We were just using the fitted diapers that Rachel sent us because they were the only ones that fit her. We are now using up the disposables at night, and using cloth during the day. The prefolds are still a bit big on her, but we are trying to use them. I just have to be super careful and listen for poo! Erich gave me "permission" (I don't have to ask permission, we just discussed it) to buy more fitted diapers. His reasoning was he would like to not have to wash diapers every1-2 days, but every 3-4 to cut down on energy use and water. We are hoping to put a utility sink next to the washer this summer so I theoretically could just use a "wet pail" method down there. We would collect diapers upstairs and at the end of the day I'd go down and throw the days worth in the sink and soak them. :) I bought kissaluvs from the outlet store size 1. The size one is supposed to be for 10lbs to 25 lbs and we figured that would be a better buy for us then size 0 which goes to 15lbs. She really is probably only about 7.5lbs at this point, but we figure that with the cover, we'd be better off with size 1. :) So I have some questions to answer.

Emily asked:

now that you have the baby, is there anything that is not what you expected about parenting? Something that you thought you had figured out before Magdalena was born but her arrival blew out of the water for you?

I didn't realize just how fascinated I would be by her. I'm still blown away by the fact that my body MADE her. She came out of me. I still get teary eyed hearing her cry because I can still hear that first cry when only her head was out and her little body still inside of me. Erich and I talked about how things affect us differently. Our thinking process has changed. When we hear about kids being killed, we aren't only sad, it makes us literally sick. We think of how it could affect our lives. She has fit in perfectly. I thought that I may be a little sad when it was three because I may miss the times Erich and I had alone (not that I wouldn't be thrilled that she was here!) but I don't. We have some alone time and we have family time. My favorites are in the morning when he comes and kisses us good bye or on the weekends when all three of us lay in bed and nurse and watch TV. I love seeing them together. I'm excited to watch her grow, and a little sad that she won't be tiny forever. :) I'm excited for the next one, knowing how much joy she brings us, but we are focused on enjoying her and being a family of three. :) I'm also blown away by how easily this has all come to us. How perfectly she fits and how I'm not exhausted, frustrated, and at the end of my rope. Is that wrong?

Rachel asked:

I guess my questions are pretty dull, but how are nursing and slinging going?

We really haven't been using the Maya sling. She is so tiny that she gets swallowed up in it and it literally just pisses her off. But we have been using a Nojo sling, sorta like a bjorn. She seems to like that. She can look at me and lay her head on my chest and that pleases her. I am looking forward to the Maya sling this summer when she has good head control and we can position her so she can look out. I'm thinking it will be much easier for us then. (which reminds me I have something for you Rachel!)

The nursing is going great. She eats like a champ. I'm amazed by how my girls just stepped up to the job. We are using the shield mainly at night because shes tired and I'm tired and we are sorta working on the latch still. Not really working, just sometimes it takes a couple of shots. When we get better at it, I'll remove the shield at night. Really that is the only time she will take it. During the day she seems to have more trouble with the shield then just latching right on without. :) I have an overabundance of milk, (anyone need any. ha! just kidding). It seems to be trying to even out but no such luck yet. We tend to only nurse on one side at each feeding because she gets to much otherwise. I don't want to shorten the time at each breast, because I've already had a run in with Mastitis (that b*tch) and really need to empty each time. I'm amazed that she is thriving and it is all because of me. Everything she is, is because of Erich and myself and that is a great feeling. I've really only had one bad night, in the hospital, when the latch was horrible, and I was blistered. That is the only time I've ever thought, just give her a bottle. But we got over it, did NOT give her a bottle, and life is great. I'm proud that she has never had formula. (THIS IS NOT LOOKING DOWN ON FORMULA USERS!!!) I just had issues before with myself that I may not be able to do this, but I am doing it, without supplements, and that does wonders for my self esteem.

She goes to the doctor tomorrow and I go next week. I can now upload on fotolog during the day so head on over there. I'll update about the appt tomorrow and her weight. Promise! Any other questions? Did I answer the questions you had? Oh, I hear her waking up. The princess calls...

Yee haw!

Fotolog.net has lifted the posting restrictions. So head on over and see a picture!

Question #1

Chuck asked me:

What is the air speed of an unladen Swallow?

First off, Chuck do you realize that you need to know which type of unladen Swallow to know the true correct answer? There are African and European unladen swallows.

The answer for a European unladen Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour. :)

Many thanks to Jonathan Corum.

I'll answer Emilys question tomorrow.

More questions please!

Lili asked...

if we were going to shorten Magdalenas name. The answer is no. It's such a beautiful name and we worked so hard on it. If she wants to be called Maggie when she is older that is fine, but we prefer Magdalena. When my dad was alive, he hated people calling me Sue, Suzy, Suzy Q, etc. He would always say, " If I had wanted her to be called Suzy, I would have named her Suzy. Her name is Suzanne." And that stuck with me, because now I can't stand it if people call me anything besides Suzanne. (well there are some high school nick names but thats a different story!)

I like answering questions. It makes it easier to blog. So hit me with another question!

It's All In A Name...

Andrea Q asked me where we came up with Magdalena. Before we got pregnant, we knew that if we had a boy we would name him after my father who died when I was 9. And since everyone kinda thought we were having a boy, we didn't really start to debate girl names until right before the first u/s when I got scared it may be a girl, and we wouldn't have a name for her! So anywho... I liked the names Madeline and Madelyn, which Erich hated. And then I discovered that they were really high up in popularity as published by the Social Security Administration. So, that sent those names out the window. When we were in Missouri visiting family, we looked through Erichs family tree and found the name Magdalena. It was Erichs great grandmas name and occurs a couple of other places in the tree. Magdalena means tower of greatness. So we decided on the trip back to Indiana on Magdalena. So we needed a middle name right?

Everything I liked he hated (isn't that how it always goes?). I liked Ruth and Jane and such. He didn't. He said he wanted something that ended in an A (don't ask me why). My mom wrote down a list of names on our side of the family and Eusevia is my grandmas name. (pronounced ae-oh-seh-vee-ah) I told Erich that night and he seemed to like it and thats how we came up with it. Magdalena Eusevia. A very unique and very Spanish name for a very unique little girl.

Any other questions?

How Much Does It Cost...

to have a baby? So far, $18,000. :) Thank God for Blue Cross Blue Shield. I'm alive. I would post at Fotolog.net but it seems only gold members can upload from 8am to 11pm. So sometime when I'm at the computer from 11pm to 8am, I'll put up a picture. I'm working on fixing up another website with new pictures.

Cordless

I think the remaining part of her cord just fell off. **sniffle** It's still a bit oozy so we'll wait on the tub bath for now. Not an exciting day here. Did some laundry and dishes and wifey stuff. Now just waiting for Daddy to come home so we can go to sleep. Well, so I can go to sleep. Magdalena is already asleep, but she'll want another snack before bedtime I'm sure.

Remember Me?

I'm alive. Sorry for the lack of updates, but Andrea Q told me to go back to bed. ;) We are trudging along out here. We survived the snow dump we had towards the middle of the week and have just been nestled in together. I've spent the last few days not venturing far from bed because I've started bleeding new blood and passing clots so I had been doing to much. Things are better now.

Nursing is going great. The lactation consultant/visiting nurse that came on Tuesday said not to worry about the nipple shield. That most babies would "outgrow" it. So I stopped worrying about it. I figured that if I had to wear the shield the rest of the time I nursed that it was a small sacrifice to make, right? Well, Thursday or Friday I popped her on and after a few minutes pulled her off, pulled the shield off, and popped her back on and she went to town without the shield! She nursed on the other side without the shield too. Every other time or so she'll need the shield, but most times she just looks put off that I didn't offer her the "real" thing first! She's amazing.

Part of her cord fell off. They thought the outside part would fall off first because it was so big and the inside cord part was so tiny. It did and now we are just waiting for a very small piece inside to fall out. :)

We are in transition between sposies and cloth diapers. She is too small for my prefolds at this point. The kissaluvs and other fitted diapers that Rachel sent are the only ones that fit her. And some of those are bit on the big side. So my mom bought another pack of sposies and we are using cloth during the day, and sposies at night ( so I can wash the cloth). Hopefully she'll be growing into the prefolds soon.

She is gaining weight too. When she left the hospital she was down to 5lbs 15oz. When the visiting nurse came she was 6lbs 11/2 oz and at the doctors on Wednesday she was 6lbs 51/2oz. (different scales/different weights) But she is gaining which makes me feel so much better! :)

Well, I have the meat for dinner in the fridge marinating, now we're just waiting for Daddy to come home. Keep checking fotolog.net cause I try and put up a picture everyday. :) Gotta go lie down and nurse, the princess calls...

I'm here

I know you are all waiting for a birth story, I'm thinking it will be towards the end of the week. I will tell you that we gave a vaginal delivery our best efforts, 26 hours of true labor to be exact. Though she was tiny, she was lodged in my pelvis and there was really no way she was going to come out. She was trying her best though and ended up with a bit of a conehead because of it. :)

The nursing is coming along beautifully. My milk is completely in and she is sleeping SO much better now. She is peeing and pooping like a champ, something that worried me in the beginning. The visiting nurse comes tomorrow (the hospital always sends one about 48 hours after you've gone home) and we'll see how much she weighs. I think they will probably draw another billi on her to make sure it's coming down, but I think it is now that she is actually eating some sustanance. I think her complexion is a bit misleading too. Since she is part Mexican and a bit of Indian in there and Irish and everything else (poor kid!) she has a bit of a reddier color to her. She is still evening out too.

Last night was much better on the sleep. The first few days she had been marathon nursing from about 1am until about 4am. She would fall asleep but as soon as I went to take her off, she would glare at me and scream "that's my boob! Give it BAAAACCCKKK!" So I would be awake dozing but never really falling asleep since I have to still watch her closely so she won't chew me up. Last night she slept two hours, ate forty minutes, slept two, ate forty, yada yada yada it was sheer heaven. We are working ditching the nipple shield and things are great. One breast still has some blisters but they are healing too.

I'm feeling really great, I'm in pain, but not so much that I can't function. As soon as they took the catheter out Thursday morning, I was out of bed and on the go. They couldn't really believe how great I was walking and getting about. I know though that had I laid in bed, I would be paying for it now. I still look at her and can't believe she was inside of me. It really boggles my mind! Erich and I both agree that she is the best thing we have ever made. Erich is absolutely in love (I've been replaced!) and it's awesome to see them together.

Be sure to keep checking fotolog for pictures as I'll try and post a pic everyday cause she is so stinking beautiful! :) I'm trying to catch up on everyones blogs but it is difficult to sit here and not do other things if she is sleeping. I also sleep a lot when she is sleeping because its a rare thing. We really appreciate everyones well wishes and thoughts and it makes us feel very blessed to be surrounded by such great people. I look at her and think to myself, if I had known that I would be in labor for 26 hours and then have a c-section would I do it again? The answer is yes... every single painful minute of it.

Home Sweet Home

I'm home! Magdalena and I just got here. We wanted to beat the storm that is supposed to blow in tonight and I feel great. We were having some latch issues but she is doing wonderfully now (except for some small blood blisters. Ouch!) My milk is coming in and she seems to be eating like every 45 minutes right now. She is down to 5 pounds 15 ounces which they said is okay. She is a little yellow looking but still completely gorgeous. We are going to work on taking naps in the sun (for the jaundice) and eating eating eating! :) More later... gotta go love on her. And we'll post some more pics tonight too. Thanks for everyones well wishes, I'll post a birth story later.

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

I'm almost ready to leave. Need to vacuum the LR and wash the dishes and we're ready. My mom should be here in an hour or so and I hope to hit up Subway on my way up there. I would like a quick nap, but we'll see. She's here! My mom is here!

We are starting the induction tonight at 5pm. Erich will be home tomorrow evening and will post. I'm terrified. Wish me luck!

Another...

picture.

Better late...

than never. Here is a picture for you! And the ring is still there. Just didn't get the right angle.