Magdalena's first official taste of solid foods. Organic bananas, yum! 

My cousin Pete in Iraq. 

Iraq Soldier

I found out the other day that my cousin is in Iraq. I'm simply amazed. He has already been wounded twice and has gone back for a third time. It really surprised me because when my mom said "you remember your cousin Pete, right?" I expected her to finish the sentence with... he's in jail. But that didn't happen. I'm super super proud of him, but very very scared. Iraq has always been this scary thing to me, but it has seemed so abstract until now. Now it seems very very real and very close to home. I'll post a picture they sent us.

T-isms

First in a long series.

1) "I'm not a Queen because Queens have servants. God picks the servants to serve the Queen. They come from jail. So when ever the Queen wants something the servant has to get it. Whatever she wants, hot cocoa or some peaches, they have to get it. "

2) "...But the baby drinks from here *points to breast*. So you mean the baby is going to drink from your breast and eat some baby food too? I've never heard of that!"

3) "Did you know I'm smart? I'm smart because I know lots of stuff."

8 months

My baby girl is 8 months old today. **sniff** I can't believe that time has flown by so quickly. I weighed her the 0ther day at an appointment, and she weighs 16lbs 4 oz and is about 26 to 27 inches long (we think). She is still wearing 3-6 months but I'm transitioning a bit into 6-9 month clothes. Though the other day, I did put her in a 0-3 month outfit and it fit perfectly. heh.

She has been saying Mama and Dada. Usually says Dada when she's looking for him, and Mama when she is crying. I noticed yesterday that in chatter when talking to me she says Mama, which warms my little heart.

We'll officially start trying solid foods tomorrow. I had to work this morning and I wanted to do it late morning with Erich. So that adventure will unfold tomorrow, which will most likely bring with it some pictures and another entry.

She's hungry so I need to feed her now and enjoy her last day of being exclusively breastfed. **tear**

IOU

a real post. Yup Yup. But I'm tired to write one. I will tell you that I finished off two books in the last week and a half or so and they were grrreat. Midwives and Trans-sister Radio by Chris Bohjalian. I feel like I've rekindled my love for reading. It's so nice. :) Any suggestions for my next read?

You can do it...

after all you're just a stay at home mom. You have LOTS of time on your hands.

Obviously by the lack of posts, the above is certainly not true. And I swear if ONE more person says that to me, it's POW, right in the kisser.

Tooth Fairy

The tooth fairy has visited us yet again. Magdalenas top left tooth has popped through the gum. She's doing better than me as a child. In my baby book it says I got the two bottom teeth at 6 months and then didn't pop another tooth until 11 months. M's been knawing hardcore these days and last night she was a bit restless. Only one real crying episode at about 1am when she didn't want me to lay and nurse her, she wanted me to sit up in bed and nurse her. And she couldn't make up her mind about which side she wanted to nurse on, though she finally figured it out and promptly fell back asleep. It probably doesn't help that last weekend in Missouri and this weekend with the festival has completely disrupted her nap and bedtime routines and set them at weird wonky hours. So, I'm thinking that in the next few weeks I'll see the right upper tooth just like we saw the two bottom teeth sprout within weeks of each other, but we'll see.

Life can't be that bad when you see this everday, right? 

Preschool Update

So I confronted T's mom about the whole Preschool issues we discussed before and it blew up in my face. She doesn't feel she needs to pay and I feel taken advantage of. I also feel like I hurt a relationship and that is the last thing I wanted to do. I can't stand confrontation and it took a lot of balls for me to even bring it up, and it didn't do anything. I don't make 3.50/hour like most assumed, I make 1.75. And it is sucking hardcare right now.

Quickie

This will be fast. Since being home, I feel like my list of to do things gets longer and I never get anything done. I'm still feeling queasy, but somewhat better. The weird part of this flu is that I'm still very very hungry. Weird, eh? My trips to the bathroom are less but I still frequent that room often. It is really annoying though, considering my daughter doesn't want me to set her down after 6pm. Therefore I have to listen to her scream, or take her with me to the bathroom. And considering that it's the bathroom, I'm puking (gross!), and she is crawling at ever increasing speeds. Right, gross. The latter isn't generally an option. No Andrea I haven't taken a test. It would be nice because I'd like babies close together but I HATE taking tests. I took SO many prior to M that the entire experience puts me on edge. AND the darn fargin things are SO expensive. It's times like these that I am kicking myself for not ordering the batch of tests that are like a quarter a piece online. Maybe I should do that tomorrow (payday!)

Speaking of pay, my cousin rotates the old folks jobs with me. When she doesn't work at her real job, I take care of the couple. Well, she informed me yesterday that she was getting super tired, which means I could take over full time. While this prospect is delightful, because the money would be, well, it would be heaven, the idea is exhausting. I could pay up some bills and burn through my "I want" list pretty quickly though. We shall see.

The local fest is in town and it is already a madhouse. That is the one thing that I hate. Since we live a couple of blocks away from downtown, and the festival is located downtown, our street gets flooded. And half the streets downtown are blocked and the other half are filled with people making it a bit overwhelming and hard to navigate. I do look forward to it every year though.

M is working on a traditional crawl, but with each passing hour it seems she gets faster and faster at the entire army crawl thing that she just forgets about the traditional crawl idea. And now that she is more mobile than before, she wants to stand. The good part of her crawling is that if she is in the middle of the floor and decides she wants me and starts to cry, she also starts crawling towards me. Ya I know I'm lazy blah blah blah.

Speaking of her crawling, she has her first war wound, a splinter. I guess it only to be expected living in such a big, old house with lots of hardwood floors. She doesn't want to stay on the carpet, and I can see that the hardwood is more conducive to sliding your tiny body across. Erich and I are going to have to get down on our hands and knees and scuff across the floor and do a bit of refinishing I think. But I only noticed it this morning when she was nursing, so it must not have hurt that bad or something.

There are other amusing things about this crawling business. Ella, my younger dog, is sincerely freaked out that M can actually get to her now. Gracy, the older dog, lets her crawl towards her until she can touch her once, then politely gets up and leaves. And T, well, T is frustrated. At first she thought it was fun to throw an object out and watch M go for it. That was until she was told that it isn't nice to "tease" her with an object then move it right when she was getting to it and/or taking it away quickly. As I type this, they are on the floor playing. T gave Magdalena some blocks and took some for herself. This would be an ideal scenario, except that M doesn't want the blocks designated for her pleasure, she wants the blocks that T is playing with. Suddenly, I have a very idea of what it is like to be in the Bean household.

Okay so this wasn't such a quickie. But I'm leaving now to take the girls to get some lunch at the fest. I can smell the aromas now and they are quickly calling us.

On The Go

Wanna see a video clip of Magdalena crawling? Go here!

Edited: Can you tell me if that video clip is working for ya'll?

Welcome Home

We're back. There are piles of stuff to do around here, the local festival is rolling into town, and I'm sick. I was kinda sicky feeling over the weekend, but I contributed it to driving so much and not taking any dramamine. But I still feel sick. I've felt that way all day. I'm running to the batheroom a lot for all the various reasons you go to the batheroom including vomiting. Ick. My heads all dizzy feeling and I have a headache. And the last time I ever felt like this was when I was... no, I'm not going to say it. I don't think it could be. Could it? Nah. Ugh.

The trip went well, we had fun, it was to short, and Magdalena is glad to be home and crawling around. I'll go into more detail later.

SHE DID IT!

SHE CRAWLED! MAGDALENA CRAWLED! FORWARD!

She's been army crawling backwards for a while now. I kinda suspected that she could crawl forward by the progress she's made across rooms, but had never witnessed it. I just saw her do a half army crawl half traditional crawl about two feet forward to get to the entertainment center (she loves to play with the handles on the drawers). I watched a few more minutes and she rolls/crawls backwards and forwards to make her way to her destination. Who know I'd be so excited? :)

Not much to say today. Trying to get the house ready for our departure Saturday morning and trying not to forget anything. Do you see those teeth!?? :)

Home

I'm going to play around with my blog for the next few days. Hopefully I won't be pulled away while in the middle of something, but all you Moms know that that isn't always possible. I'm also toying with the possibility of moving my blog to my own server. What do you think? Would you follow me? I'm afraid that if I leave then nobody will come visit my new home (since I'm boring, remember?) Or, I guess I could look at it as people following me because they like me (they really do!). I don't know. I'm torn. Blogger and Blogspot hosting has been good to me. Tell me what you think!

Smorgasbord

In keeping with the theme of all these questions, I have another. At what age did you start your babe on solid food? Just curious. No fights. Good ole fashioned curiosity. :)

Kiss Kiss Darling

Magdalena has learned to kiss. She doesn't do it on command though. For a few weeks she has been smacking or popping her lips. Yesterday, she decided that she could purse her lips together and make the kiss sound. Sitting with her in her swing I got up next to her and "air kissed" several times. She kissed the air and burst out into fits of giggles.

A Vote

Let's take a vote, mmkay? Let's say you send your child to a sitter during the day. Now this sitter doesn't make very much an hour, you can cancel on her at any point during the day, you have her do crazy stupid stuff, and always have special instructions. Now, this sitter is taking your child to preschool three times a week. She has to drop the child off and pick her up. This entails loading her own child into a car, shuffling them both around and going to the school. At the school the sitter has to walk your child in the door, which means she has to take her child out of the car too. Remember that winter is approaching fast and that will start to be a royal PITA. So on to the question. Do you pay her $3.50 for the hours that the child is in preschool?

Leaving on a Jetplane

We are leaving this weekend to go visit Erichs family. So, all you experienced traveling Mama's, what am I going to forget? What won't I be able to live without for three days?

Where's Waldo?

Go here and tell me what is wrong with this picture. :)

I really like this picture.  

Woolies! 

Wooly Mammoth

I made a pair of wool longies! :) I have four more pairs to make but I'm so excited. So who wants a pair for Christmas? (Or halloween? heh.)

Welcome to the World

Lindsey Marie arrived! :)

Old McDonald's Farm

I need a chicken farm. I know, that sounds a bit crazy. T's diet is basically made up of two things: chicken and eggs. She LOVES boiled eggs without the yolk. I HATE boiled eggs, so it is especially tramautic for me to boil the darn things then peel them and dig out the yolk. Yuuuck. She also likes chicken nuggets. This girl gets lots of protein.

I'm thinking that a chicken farm might actually help save me money. Well, maybe it wouldn't, but it would be nice just to go outside and get the egg instead of having to go to the store. At the beginning of August, I had three dozen eggs in the fridge. T polished those off last week. This week, I bought a dozen eggs on Tuesday. She just finished them off today during lunch. Sheesh.

My BIL sells free range chicken eggs, but they live an hour and half away, and Erich says it isn't worth it to save 50 cents. heh. We could go visit my inlaws, but then I say that it isn't worth the 50 cents. :) We have another baptism class tomorrow morning in an area that has a farmers market. Hopefully I can pick up so eggs there. I've never been to a farmers market though, do they sell eggs?

New Baby?

Send good thoughts to Mimi, who is having her baby today! :)

Welcome Abby!

As you all know, T is the little girl I watch every day. She is, as we call, mother-smother. She bites down her teeth and says to Magdalena " You are so cute!" and you can tell she just wants to squeeze the life out of her. It has really been driving me batty because she gets in Magdalena's face, which doesn't please Magdalena. And she grabs at her hands and is constantly kissing her, which would be okay if she didn't always have a snotty gross nose. And she just started preschool this week, so I can only imagine the germs that will be entering my house. Ugh. So she now has her own baby. We named her Abby.

Abby is the perfect size for T. We put a size 0 kissaluv on her and T was very very very pleased. I also came up with two receiving blankets and an extra diaper. We put these into T's backpack and now Abby is ready for a day out.

T and I picked up some fabric today for a sling. It's strawberry shortcake and it took me all of 15 minutes to make. Unfortunately I couldn't make it until after T was gone. I'm sure that she will be super pleased in the morning. I stuck the sling in the "diaper bag" so you can see the fabric in the picture.

My Mom came over before work to see some pictures. She asked T, "where are the baby bottles for when Abby gets hungry?" I said, "we don't have any baby bottles." T responded by saying, " that's okay. **lifts up shirt** Abby can eat from here! **points to breast** " I tried my hardest not to laugh at her. It was just so funny! I'm so proud of her too. My Mom said, "but you don't have milk there" and T said "uh, huh. It's pretend anyways!" I explained to her that I have milk for Magdalena and she has milk for Abby, right? She seemed very satisfied with that. Luckily her Mom didn't yell at me. :)

I think it's great that T put the baby to her breast. I'm pretty sure that Magdalena would do that some day because she will witness me nursing other babies (hopefully) just as T has witnessed me nursing Magdalena. It was very cute.

So now T can smother Abby with her love and affection. :) In the car, T explained to me that Abby was a lot like Magdalena. They cry at the same time and sleep too. Abby also got sick in the car. I asked T if Abby was carsick. She responded, "no everytime we pass corn she pukes." Rachel would be glad to hear that Abby is apparently sensitive to corn. :) Unfortunately we live in Indiana and it is summer, so poor Abby is going to be quite sick for a while. :)

Abby and diaper bag 

Toyland

Since August began, I haven't been to Alicia's house. Now this is a big thing considering I'd previously been going at least weekly. We had fun. We ran errands and waxed our eyebrows. Waxing eyebrows is very barbaric, but very very worth it. I look like I have woman eyebrows again. Let's all say "Yay for womanly eyebrows!" I also gave myself (with Alicia's help) a malibu treatment and a deep conditioning. My hair is silky smooth and soft. Heck, if I get into the shower today I'll look like a super model. :)

Alicia had her old toys out while I was there. Now, I grew up in a duplex. We lived on one side and Alicia lived with her sister and dad on the other side. Her old toys are toys that I grew up playing with too. And since they were older, they were always very cool and had neater ideas than I could come up with. We had her cabbage patch kids out and Magdalena was very thrilled with one. When we went to pick up Caleb from school, Magdalena was playing with the CP in the carseat. When I peeked back at her, she had fallen asleep holding the CP hand. How cute is that? So, that's another reason to buy her her own cabbage patch kid. I could let her play with mine, but then what will I play with? I plan on making her a sling for christmas so she can carry her babies around in it. :) I should probaby make T a sling too, cause she put on my sling and said "look I could carry the baby!"

I convinced Alicia to let her CP kids take a swim in the washer, and they came out really clean. She was all freaked out thinking that their heads would be full of water. :)

Another big thing that happened yesterday is that Magdalena moved up to a big girl carseat. She outgrew the infant carrier length wise. She turned 7 months old on Saturday. My girl is growing up. **sniff** She weighs about 15lbs and is awesome. While at Alicias house, she sat up from a lying down position. In church on Sunday, she kept pulling herself up to a standing position on the back of the pew. She also has been rocking on all fours for 3 or 4 minutes at a time. She moves her legs, but can't figure out the balance of moving her hand forward. Eventually, she just lays down and rolls to the desired object. She gets around pretty well that way, and wouldn't be surprised if she just skipped the whole actual crawling stuff. She still scoots backwards pretty effectively. She's wearing 3-6 month clothes now and they fit her well, but she still has a lot of room left in them. :) She is still exclusivly breastfed and there aren't any plans in the near future to start the solids.

I have lots of plans today, but mainly we are all going to nap and take it easy. T was sick yesterday and M had crappy nap days both Sunday and Monday. And I'm super tired from our bike ride this morning. My concentration today will be on laundry and SLEEP! :)

I'm here!

I'm currently exhausted and trying to keep up with my family. I know I know, I say I'm always tired. I'll stop. No really, I will stop. Erich even commented on how boring my blog is, what can I say? I'm a boring person.

I'm working on a photo gallery thingy. I'm thinking I'm going to need more of Erich's help then I wanted to ask for. hrmph. It will be password protected, so when I get it done ya'll can let me know who wants to see my girly. I'll post occasional pictures here and there, but I'm thinking I should confine it to one space. I'd like to know who's going there to look around.

Magdalena is saying two words! :) The first one was, you guessed it, Dada. She says this with a very happy smile on her face when she sees a picture of him, or rolls over in bed and doesn't see him on his side. Dada! :)

Her second word is Mama. I had her on the floor the other day and when I came back in the room she was crying saying, "MaaaaMaaaa, MaaaaMaaaa, MaaaMaaa,MMMMM" It's happened on a couple more occasions so I'm saying it's official. The sucky part is she says it when she is sad, and Dada when she is happy. Boo. Be happy to see me too little girl! :)

Magdalena is getting to be such a big girl! (well not in size, but in personality!) Look at how her leg is in the picture! Just cracks me up. Oh, and I'm in the picture too, at least my shadow is! :)  

Long Time

It's been an incredibly long and busy week. Sorry for the lack of posts. The biggest news this last week is that Erich is finished with school! He got two A's in his last two courses and was already informed he had met all the requirements for graduation! :) They'll confirm all of the grades on Sept. 2 and order the diplomas. They are hoping the diplomas will be in by late October! Once they confirm grades, I'll probably have an open house bbq in honor of my graduate. :)

The second big thing is that I will be continuing my home care. I'm excited about this because it will bring about extra income that we so desperately need! I already have lots of things lined up to pay such as plates, car insurance, and such things. I also want some new size 2 kissaluvs (well I'll actually order from the outlet store) but I'm hoping to buy a couple dozen of those. Hopefully we'll have a nice christmas too.

I've been sunning my diapers that are really stained right out of the dryer. It's been nice to have them taken care of and it's amazing how quickly the stains dissappear. I've also stayed on top of all of the laundry which is so relieving.

I'm sorta staying on top of my house too. It's hard with everyone coming and going, but I feel like I am getting my act together again. We've been enjoying some fresh air outside and have had the window and door open practically all week. I'm loving not running the air conditioner, I can practically feel the money staying in my pocket! ha! We actually had to shut everything a couple times last week because we were cold!

It's so wild to be so chilly in August. I was thinking back to our wedding day (August 10, 2002). It was about a 100 degrees outside with a heat index of 110 degrees. I was thanking myself that we had found a church and decided against that wedding in the park. My legs were actually sweating underneath my wedding gown IN the air conditioning. I won't ever forget that.

I must go, the diva is calling. She's been incredibly clingy this past week or so. I think it is because she is so so so so so close to actually crawling on all fours. She does creep and army crawl backwards. I think she could physically crawl, it's really just about getting the confidence and the dance of it down. And she doesn't like staying on her tummy that long so usually just rolls on over to her back etc to get to her destination of choice.

Breastfeeding Terms

(From an email I received today.)

Definitions of breastfeeding terms:

Boob Lift - The unconscious lifting of one's breasts to check which isfuller. May be done at any time regardless of where you are or whomyou're talking to, grocery sackers and priests/rabbis notwithstanding.

Nursing Flip - The action of adjusting you and your baby to make readyfor nursing. This means moving your tee-shirt off your butt, doing the"boob-lift", putting the baby in the crook of your arm and unlatchingyour bra, all in about 15 seconds, with no attention taken away from yourprevious task.

Wet-Nurse Syndrome - The unconscious urge to nurse any fussy baby youhappen to be holding; you may be engaged in casual conversation whileholding your neighbor's baby, she fusses and you do the "nursing flip,"your neighbor looks at you shocked, "oh my, she must be hungry," youmumble as you pass her infant back. *A side-effect of this is the"breastmilk fixes everything" philosophy. Actually pumping your milk forthe stray kitten you found, under the rational that, of course, humanmilk is better than cow milk for a starving kitten. You may also findyourself using breastmilk for your family's various wounds: "Got a sore, earacheor zit? Put some breastmilk on it, that'll fix it.'' (least that's whatthey say, can't hurt)

Boobie Wrangling - The acrobatics your toddler does while nursing,including but not limited to flips, headstands, & taffy pulls, all whilesurrounded by relatives who believe that should have been weaned monthsago. The benefit of this exercise is that you can now nurse your childwhile each of you lie on your backs.

Twiddling - What happens if everyone fails to mention that your babycaressing your other breast while nursing is NOT sweet. Never, neverletyour baby know that you can possibly have two breasts at the same time.Always keep the unused breast covered, lest you want your littlenurslingto use it as her favorite toy. This becomes a habit quick, heed ourwarning.

The Steal - The act of removing your nipple from your already sleepingbaby's mouth so that you may roll over or sneak out of bed for somemidnight internet use. Typically takes 2 or 3 tries to succeed.

Just a Sip - When your now-walking baby comes to you, lifts your shirt,grabs a drink to refuel him/herself for 10 more minutes of play. Thisactof helping themselves is a show of independence for them, and a show ofbreast for everyone else in the room.

Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover yourbreastover the baby's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate,ignoringyour butt in the rearview mirror.

Ecstasy Eyes - Picture this: baby is screaming at your feet while youaretalking on the phone, cooking dinner, and getting a band-aid for yourtoddler. You finally sit and pick up the baby to nurse, and she goesfromscreaming wildly to rolling her eyes to the back of her head in ecstasyinonly a few seconds.

Kneading - The act of dang near maiming your breast tissue while youradorable (and sharp nailed) little one nurses. This can result in yourbreast looking like you've just nursed a kitten.

Con tu adios te llevas mi corazon

Today is my 2nd anniversary. I didn't know what life would be like when I approached that alter two years ago. I wondered where we would go together and what obstacles we would face. In that first year, we faced infertility. We worked together to make a baby who is the most beautiful child I have ever seen. During the second year, we celebrated being pregnant, rubbing my belly, and trying to foretell the furture. We welcomed our daughter into this world and rejoiced that we were so lucky. Saturday, we ate dinner as a family at the Cheesecake Factory and smiled at each other and all that we had accomplished. I didn't know how life would fold out when I stood at that alter two years ago, but I knew I'd be happy... and I was right.

My Favorite Picture 

Sitting Pretty 

Peek-A-Boo, I see you! 

Where's Magdalena? There she is! 

My Lovely Butterfly 

Snooze...

I'm exhausted. I officially have two jobs in addition to the whole Stay At Home Mom business. I went yesterday and today to take care of the couple and it's a lot of work. Nothing I can't handle, but with two kids I'm organized baby. And Alicia would be so proud of me, my laundry is all caught up, the dishes are all done, the LR is picked up, and I've vacuumed just about every day this week. Even got on the floor TWICE this week and vacuumed all the little nooks and cranies with the attachements.

I'm learning the art of traveling with a baby and a monster four year old. I have a bag packed with toys for her and for M, I have diapers, movies, food, sippy cup (for T), cup for me, purse and my sanity all packed in the trunk of the Vibe with the stroller. Taking the stroller in with me gives me a safe place to put M while I do things like shower old people and take them to the bathroom. Throw in a swim lesson for the day and I practically carry the house with me. We get back and everyone goes down for naps, except me. :( I start cleaning my house to make sure I don't get behind. I'm getting used to the schedule though, and I'm thinking that if the 30 day trial goes well and they stay in assisted living that I could probably do this two or three times a week. The $$$ I got today made me feel goooood. Gooood, I tell you.

Tomorrow is a very busy day. LLL meeting, quick run into Walmart for some cheap coke, swim lesson, quick naps, bath for M, and pictures for M. She is so freaking cute these days it makes me want to puke! :) I'm positive that this time around, the pictures are going to be fabulous with her two tooth grin and her little bottom sitting up all by herself. It makes me giddy how cute she's going to be. And Erich let me buy her an outfit over the weekend for pictures, a pair of overalls and a pink polo shirt onesie thing. I also have a sundress for an alternate outfit (must remember to iron that stuff TONIGHT) . I'll have to post a picture. Oh, and I know that I shouldn't be going to Walmart and drinking cheap Sams Choice coke. I know that caffeine is bad for you and it just keeps me fat. But dangit, I'm working 250 plus hours on top of my official job of SAHM. Don't I deserve a little addiction?

Breastfeed Baby!

Go check out these ads for breastfeeding. Some are pretty funny! :)

BABIES ARE BORN TO BE BREASTFED! WOOT! :)

Everybody Poops

As we were drying off after swim lessons today, some teenage girls swarmed around Magdalena (who was sitting in the stroller since I had to get in the pool.) Magdalena loves this since she loves "young" people and she loves attention. She is a diva, remember!? Here is the conversation that followed.

Girls: Oh she's so cute, even though I don't like babies. They poop to much.

Me: Well, she's a breastfed baby, so her poop doesn't stink. It makes it better.

Girls: REALLY? I'm breastfeeding ALL of my babies so their poop won't stink.

**grin** It warmed my heart. Now hopefully they'll remember that 10 years from now when they have babies.

Dreamland

I had a dream last night that as I was walking through a restaurant with Erich, we bumped in to Dani and Dawn. They were with their husbands and Erich stopped to talk to the men, because apparently he knew them. I said hello to the ladies and Dani looked at me as if I were an alien. I said, "I know we've never met in person, but I'm Suzanne from 'happily ever after'" She gave me this half smile like "thats great, but I don't really care." Erich finished his conversation and we moved on. I felt a bit stung. Then I woke up to nurse a baby.

Is this dream weird? Why on Earth did I dream this? The randomness of my dreams lately is really bugging me. I'm wondering if the entire universe is a bit mixed up in some way that my subconscious is responding to. Has anyone else had really weird dreams lately?

Can you see my teeth? 

This is fun! 

Weee! 

A rare occasion-- a picture in which I don't think I look half bad. Magdalena has a weird smile, but overall a cute picture. 

Is It Enough?

No matter how much I do in a day, I never seem to feel like I've done enough. I get the feeling that Erich feels the same way, but never says anything. I like to tell myself that it is all in my head, but it isn't helping.

And I'm tired. I'm more tired now then when I was pregnant. T is really really really wearing me out. Every task is a battle whether it's a meal, putting socks on, or going to the bathroom. She makes me want to stick my head in a pillow and scream. And even if you tell her not to do something, she does it anyways. I'll ask her, " why did you just do x when I told you not to?" Her response, "because I wanted to." AHHHH!

I start my new job next week. Erich is bugging me about going to Missouri to visit family. I don't think we have the cash to do it, nor do I feel like I have the energy to do it. He wants to ride with his brother and SIL. They don't have children. SIL doesn't seem to appreciate having children around. They want to go on Labor Day weekend and I'm not sure how they could deal with a 7 1/2 month old for 6-8 hours each way in a car. There is only so much car time she can handle. And they'd have to stop more than usual because they wouldn't be cool with me bf'ing in the car (and I don't think I'd be comfortable with them too) and she does eat an awful lot. I've postponed starting solids until 7 months and I'll re-evaluate then. So she eats a fair amount during the day. Do they realize what this entails?

Life can be so darn tiring.

Army Moves

While writing that entry, Magdalena army crawled backwards across the room.  Have I mentioned that I'm tired?

Filling In The Blanks

I'm exhausted.  This weekend was pretty good.  Magdalena and I went up to see Grammy (my mom)  and Grampy with Nana and Pa and enjoyed a steak dinner out.  Yum.    Erich went to his brothers house to help him do a landscaping job.  Instead of coming back with cash, he came back with gravel.  Nice gravel though that I think he'll be incorporating into the ongoing driveway project. 

Saturday evening we joined our friends at the driven.  We watched "the Bourne Supremacy" and " Spiderman 2."  Fun fun, though very very late.  We got home around 2am.  Luckily I had given the diva a bath prior to leaving.  She had also had some motrin because I assumed her teeth were bothering her (and she was running a fever of about a 100 or so).  I hate giving her something when I don't really know what is bothering her, but I tried nursing, patting, bouncing, swinging (outside which she loves) and nothing helped.  She even cried a bit in the bathtub which is so not like her.  She slept from about 8 till midnight then woke to nurse. 

Sunday I went to get groceries.  I stopped in at Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a stockpot! yay! I've wanted a stockpot for a while.  It's a small one, 8 quarts, but with the mail in rebate and coupon I had, it only cost me $5.  It's big enough though that I'm having a hard time finding a proper home in the kitchen for it.  I also made a trip to the evil store and Sams Club for some laundry stuff.  Magdalena and I were both exhausted from the numerous in and out of the car routines we had to perform.  We came home and chilled and watched the end of a movie with Erich.  A bit later, Erich and I took the exersaucer out onto the porch and he weed eated the yard while I mowed (we were both watching M).  We then took a gigantic walk on a perfect evening.  The temperatures have cooled off considerably and haven't really gone above 70 since Saturday.  So it was actually cold on our walk.  It was very odd. 

As of Monday, T is back with us fulltime.  Well, 200 plus hours a month.  It's exhausting.  She threw a huge fit in the middle of the library (complete with screaming) and screamed even more when I dragged her out of the library and ended our visit early.  I can not stand a 4 year old child screaming in the middle of a library.  We had a long talk about how you listen when adults ask you to do things and that it isn't appropriate to throw tantrums.  We also talked about how four year old girls getting ready to go to preschool in a few weeks shouldn't throw tantrums and that is unacceptable behaviour at school.  We were supposed to go to swimming lessons after that (they were cancelled because it wasn't 70 degrees outside) and that during swim lessons I didn't want to even see her hesitate when she was asked to do something.  She was perfectly behaved the rest of the day and even asked for seconds at lunch and asked me what kind of macaroni and cheese she was eating because it was deelicious.  She cracks me up.

I also baked some bread over the weekend, cut a cantaloupe, and made PB cookies. I really really need to make some tortillas.  I finished up all the corn tortillas I made last time by making tortilla chips.  I should make the flour tortillas tonight so we can have cheese quesadillas tomorrow for lunch. 

Yesterday I cleaned the LR from top to bottom and dusted lots of stuff that miss the usual go round.  I even climbed on a chair and dusted my fan!  I ran the vacuum, and I swear that there is enough hair in it to make another dog.  I'm seriously going to shave Gracy bald.  It will grow back, I promise.  She looks like an over loved teddy bear.  She really isn't into people lately.  As Erich said, she acts as if she is bitter and hates the world. 

As if I'm not doing enough around my house and watching T, I have a new part time job starting next week.  I'll be doing some adult sitting (with Magdalena and T) about 3 times a week from 7am to noon.  It's going to add about 45 to 50 hours a month to my work schedule and about 400 plus dollars to our income.  We really need this, but I can't figure out how I'm working about 100 hours more a month than when I had an actual job and making half the money.  It's depressing.  Alicia said I need to get super organized which is the polite way of saying that I need to get my act together.  I'm really going to have to focus and not lose track of my time or my house is going to slip more than I feel like it already is.   I thought I was supposed to be a SAHM? 

And here is my other dilemma.  I quit my job to stay home with Magdalena.  I'm worried that all this other activity is taking away from her.  So I need to be super focused on her and make sure she gets 150% of the attention that I wanted her to have so I don't feel like I'm working myself to death and not giving her what she needs. 

So beginning next week I'll be taking care of 5 other people on an almost daily basis.  I'll be working 250 hours or so "outside" my home and have to keep my home together and keep my sanity.  I'm thinking blogging may be a bit crazy while I get into the swing of things. 

Tooth Fairy

You know how I've been telling you that Magdalena has some teeth and haven't really given you proof?  Well, it's been really hard to get her to let us stick a camera in her mouth, but I present for your viewing pleasure, a picture of her teeth.

Magdalena and Daddy play with the gloworm before Daddy leaves for work.  

Magdalena and Daddy 

Not a creature was stirring...

not even a mouse.

Naptime.  Never has such a word seemed so glorious to me.  Naptime.  T and Magdalena are asleep.  Amen!  We went to the grocery store this morning, dropped the groceries off at the house for Erich to put away, went to Nanas, then to eat lunch, then to the park, back to Nanas.  Then we took Nana with us to the library for a special presentation (Bobby T Bookworms Magical Library Adventure) then went to Nanas and helped her clean up for her company.  Now we are back home and everyone is asleep.  I'd like to join them, but diapers need to be washed along with a few dishes and I need to make pizza dough for dinner.  I also need to make some bread, corn tortillas, tortilla chips, and flour tortillas.  Oy.

Naptime. 

Hot and Moldy

It's been terribly hot around here.  And a storm ripped through last night that really actually scared me.  I was at Alicia's house at the time and her husband gets "excited" about storms since the tornados that went through there a few weeks back.  Her power went out 3 or 4 times in a matter of 10 minutes or so, so it was a bit scary.  Another storm is about to rip through here any minute.

We have the window air conditioners running, but it seems like they are constantly trying to keep up.  I'm sure I'll have mild heart attack when the electric bill comes.  And the bread I made at the end of last week went moldy early because of the humidity.  Oh well, I need to make corn tortilla chips for the salsa still left in the fridge, flour tortillas, and corn tortillas (since I'll use up the reserve making chips!), so I'll just add bread to the list.  I found a recipe for dog biscuits (I know you are laughing at me now!) and I'd like to try that and see how that goes over with Ella and Gracy.  It would be really nice to make them considering buying them is so expensive. 

Okay, I'm going to turn off the computer since the storm is almost here.  I'm going to try and get to Nana's while it's still dry with Magdalena.  I find I prefer these storms with others because of Magdalena.  :)  Adios!

My How They Grow...

Magdalena is moving.  Inch by inch, slowly, scooting across the Living Room floor.   I noticed this yesterday at Alicia's house.  I set a toy out of her reach and about five minutes later she got to it.  Yes, she moves slowly, but the point is that she's moving.  And she rolls completely over all the way across the living room floor, until she bumps into something.  At which point she whines for me to move that something (or her) or she starts in the other way.  And she sits unassisted, did I tell you that?  She has been for a few weeks now.  Oh, and this morning while at Nana's Erich and I watched as she got up on all fours and started rocking back and forth.  I have no doubt that once she gets going, it will only be a short time before she's up on two legs. 

She hasn't had any solid food yet.  I think that people are just plain sick of asking and me telling them no, cause they seemed to have stopped asking.  heh.  :) 

Who took my baby?

This morning I reached in Magdalena's mouth, it's become a morning ritual.  Her other bottom tooth poked through.  :(  Two bottom teeth.  I didn't cry this time, but it's still bittersweet.  She isn't a tiny baby anymore.   She's growing up way to fast! 

PS no crying, no screaming, nothing.  Just a new tooth and a big grin.  How did I get so lucky?

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Since when is breastfeeding like changing a diaper?

What weekend?

I'm tired.  I'm currently the only one awake right now because I'm stripping diapers.  You see, we've been battling a diaper rash for.ever. I couldn't figure out what the hell it was and I tried everything including standing on my head while changing her diapers.  It was driving me mad.  I took her to the doctor at the end of June (actually we saw the NP who I don't care for)  and she gave me Nystatin cream, which didn't work.  I bought OTC clotrimazole and it worked better than the Nystatin, but didn't make it go away completely.  Anyways, she had her 6month checkup this week and he gave me a Nystatin cream with some other miracle drug mixed in and it cleared up completely in 12 hours.  Praise God.  Anyways, I threw a scoop of Oxyclean in one of the loads of diapers, on accident mind you, and now Magdalena has a flaming rash in her crack.  (sorry for the description!)  It's not the same spots as the other places mind you , a completely new place.  And the only thing I can think of is that damn Oxyclean reacted with her pee or poo.  The girl poops more now then she ever did as a newborn which makes me feel good that her body is flourishing, but, well you know the other side.  My mom laughed in my face because I asked her if everyones poop holes were red!  I mean, if you poop a lot wouldn't it get irritated? I should shut up.  Anyways, so I think it may be the oxyclean.  This would be a easily fixed problem since it was only one load, but I've been lazy about bringing up the diapers everyday from the washer, so I threw them all in one big hamper to be brought upstairs, so their all mixed and I don't know which ones had oxyclean.  So they're all going through again.  Feh. 
 
My in laws came over today.  It was nice that FIL could help Erich in the yard.  (Erich is currently working on a driveway project.)  I believe that MIL secretly despises me because Magdalena screams if left alone with her.  heh.  Of course, they arrived exactly in the middle of Magdalenas naptime.  Then they look at me as if I put her to sleep on purpose because they were coming.  Um, no, she sets a schedule for herself and I merely follow it while in the home.  I believe that children need to learn to be flexible, and Magdalena does really well when "off schedule" (she really doesn't have a strict schedule) while out, but at home, I think she deserves the right to have naptime when she wants.  Is it my fault they have such awful timing?
 
Anyways, MIL brought stuff to make dinner.  Corn from the farmers market and pork cutlets to be fried.  I don't care for pork much, unless it's a butterfly chop.  I love those, so tender and juicy.  This pork was dry and tough.  Anyways, I hate when other people cook in my kitchen.  Aside from the 25 million questions they have to ask me about where everything is, I'm picky about the way my pans are treated and the way things are done.  The only people that I ever feel comfy with is my mother and Alicia.  Don't ask me why, they don't bother me really.  Anyways, the sink is full of dishes and the kitchen smells like burnt flour.  Another feh.  I did tell her not to do the dishes though.  I hate not being able to find things after people guess where they go and I'm picky and I couldn't help her because Magdalena wasn't cooperating with that plan.  She had another plan.  :)  So I told her to leave them.   Now my sink is full of dishes, as it has been off and on all week.  It seems as soon as I finish washing dishes, within an hour it's full again.  **sigh**
 
I did steam clean the batheroom carpet upstairs.  Yippee!  :)  (aren't you proud of me Alicia?)  I've only been saying I need to do it for about 2 weeks.  I'm on the last half of the diapers and I'm about to fall over from exhaustion.  The first load that came out stripped felt nice and soft so I'm a bit excited about the whole ordeal.  (not the rash, just the softness) 
 
Maybe it's in the air, but I haven't been sleeping well lately.  I'm having crazy crazy dreams.  Magdalena is nursing a lot at night but I don't think it's because of her.  I don't think I'm cycling through sleep the way I'm supposed to.  I have so much on my mind, yet nothing at all.   Is that odd?
 
I've been dreaming about Magdalena crawling, probably because it is in the very near future.  She's been demanding a ton of my time because she is so stinking frustrated that she isn't moving.  She can roll her way from one end of the living room to the other.  She'll get on her belly then move her knees up under her and start to move her arms then.... flop, she's back face to face with the floor and it pisses. her. off. 
 
Her second tooth is bulging too.  Her bottom left is through (her left) and it's very pretty (and small) except that she wants to chomp on our hands to get the other one through like she did the first, and that little damn tooth is sharp! 
 
I really lucked out.  I've seen fussy babys and babys with colic and babys that are just pissed off at the world and she is not one of them.  She sleeps so well at night and is so happy and healthy.  I sometimes sit and think to myself, how did I end up with such a great baby?  I don't ever think of myself as doing anything right to end up so well off, ya know?  I was told I was going to get paid back for my youth, where is the payback?  Or is it that I just love her so incredibly much that her cries don't seem awful?  They are more like little knives in my heart because I can't figure out what she needs fast enough.  Or someone squeezing my heart when she cries during  a diaper change when all she really wants is to curl up and nurse, though I know that she needs her diaper changed.  I'm so damn lucky.  And sometimes I don't realize it until I walk upstairs and see my husband asleep with his little girl curled up next to him.  And I just want to sit on the bed and cry and thank whoever sent me this wonderful life. 

Netflix

If this is true, Netflix might be more worth it for us.  The turnaround time from here to Indianapolis is usually only about a day or so (depending on when mailed.)  That would rock my socks!

Since when is eating in a restaurant make someone else uncomfortable?

W. Branch restaurant faces new criticism
 
 
Taking the "nurse" out of nursery: Why I think the folks at LAC are a bunch of boobs
 
Edited to add:  If I'm in a restaurant with a nice sitting area in the batheroom that doesn't stink like a landfill, I'm more likely to go in there to nurse for Magdalenas comfort.  She doesn't like covering up with sling and generally likes to look around.  If there are lots of people in the restaurant, it's hard for her to concentrate on eating.  If the restaurant has a batheroom with no sitting room and/or it stinks like a landfill, I'm not going to go in there.  *I* don't even like using public batherooms, so why would I make my daughter eat in there? 

Baby Pics

So the question has been asked over and over and over again, "Who does she look like?"  These people are obviously talking about Magdalena.  I always report something along the lines of, "I think she looks a bit like me with Erich mixed in of course.  And she definitely has her fathers facial expressions." 
 
Well, my mother brought over some pictures of me yesterday, so the verdict is in.  Who do you think she looks like?
 
 

Me at 5.5 months old. 

Magdalena at 5 months 3 weeks old. 

Busy Bee

Sorry, I've been super busy lately.  I had T yesterday and we went to the library for storytime.  I was actually running late, but not to worried about it since I always get there early and everyone else is late.  Well, when I got there, she was waiting on us and some other "regulars" to show since it was a small group.  Heck it's the middle of no where in Indiana, they always have a small crowd.  hahaha.  Anyways, I was able to pick up some books for the girls for the summer reading program and browse some magazines and cookbooks for myself.  Erich has been desperately wanting to see "the Bourne Identity" which he asked the library to order.  They did order it, last year, and it went into circulation.  The problem is that I can NEVER get the damn thing.  It's always checked out!  And you can't reserve DVD's or VHS so that sucks bigtime.  I've also been trying to catch "Cheaper By the Dozen" and "Win A Date with Tad Hamiltion."  (As you can see, I'm not looking for a real movie to make me think!)  We've talked about Netflix, but we can't see spending $22 a month at this moment, but we may try it out in the winter when we can get our money worth.  So where was I?  Oh the library.  Magadalena does really well at the library and everybody drools over my sling and says how gorgeous Magdalena is and how cool the sling is.  Yada yada yada. 
 
She's at this cool age where she can roll around, yet she can't crawl away just yet.  (I say just yet because she is terribly close to crawling and when she rolls on to her belly, you can see her surveying the area.  I can almost hear her little brain saying, " now that would be cool to peak into...")  So I've been taking a blanket and I lay Magdalena down with a quiet toy and get on the computer to search the catalog for my selections of the day.   I try to find a computer that is out of the flow of traffic but where you can see people going about.  Magdalena LOVES this.  She rolls onto her belly and just watches as people check out books and walk in and out of the door.  It's fun.
 
I have both T and Magdalena enrolled in the summer reading program.  They said I could enroll to, but hell, if I'm reading them books when am I going to fit in books?  The books I like to read are longer books and since I read, oh, five or six pages at a time, I'd never get that many books done in eight weeks.  (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to read, it just seems that I can only read in the potty these days since Magdalena demands so much time.  And I generally only go to the potty for an extended period of time once a day! TMI?)  Anyways, with the program they get prizes for every 2 books they read.  They always have these junk toys and books.  You get one prize each time, unless you are a bit behind like us.   I generally get a book for Magdalena and T gets some assorted piece of junk. 
 
I made two loaves of bread yesterday and conquered a mountain of laundry.  Today I made a batch of flour tortillas and a batch of corn tortillas.  I also made spaghetti sauce with pasta and potato soup.  The potato soup left something to be desired.  I had planned to make a batch of PB cookies, but didn't get to it.  I also had planned to mop the floors downstairs and didn't get to that.  So I really MUST do that tomorrow along with the cleaning the carpets upstairs. 
 
We had a Dr. Appt on Tuesday.  Magdalena weighs 14lbs 12ounces and is 24 3/4 inches long.  She is doing wonderfully and is way ahead of the developmental milestone chart according to the Doc.  He gave me a hard time about co-sleeping, but didn't have an answer for me when I asked him how many high schoolers he saw sleeping with their parents still!  :)  He almost jumped out of his chair for joy to hear that she had had no solid food whatsoever.  I'm not sure if we're ready to start just yet either.  Her tongue ejection reflex is getting better, but she still doesn't "mooch."  We'll see.  Of course, my mother is dying to feed her table food. 
 
I have T tomorrow.  Hopefully it won't rain.  She's so funny.  Yesterday I told her that we were going to clean the house and she said "Really!?? Can I help too???"  And if I say, I'm going to wash some diapers she'll say, "yay!  I want to help!" 
 
I gotta go.  The princess is awake.

Baby!

Lauren FINALLY had that baby! :) Welcome Grace Caroline! ( And good luck little girl, you may need it with all those boys!)

Growing Pains

I just took a peek into Magdalenas mouth and her left bottom tooth is poking through. Just a corner, and the rest of the gum is very clear. Her right bottom tooth is bulging through the gum so I'm sure it will be following soon. I'm excited for her, but sad. I'll miss those gummy grins, though I'm sure she'll look just as cute with teeth. Now do I make a not that it broke the gum in the baby book now? Or wait a day or two so I can see the entire tooth. She was really "working" on her butterfly teether yesterday, so I guess she did some good work!

She's also rolling both directions without problems now. I bought the stuff yesterday to do some baby proofing. I'm not a huge babyproofer, because I think if I babyproofed everything she wouldn't learn that it is forbidden. Don't worry, I am babyproofing dangerous stuff. She'll be crawling soon. She sits unassisted for lengthy times now and she leans forward and reaches like she is just going to crawl off. And on her tummy she can pull her knees under her and lift her head up, though when she gets her belly off the ground she collapes. But it's just a matter of time. I'm so sad and happy for her!

Maybe it is time for another baby? Hehe.

You Know You're From Indiana When...

You've never met any celebrities.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

"Vacation" means driving through Brown Countyor going Kings Island.

You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

You measure distance in minutes.

You know several people who have hit a deer.

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."

Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.

Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.

You know where all the Yoders live.

You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "Who are you gonna go with?"

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.

De-tassling was your first job (that's de-tassling corn for you city folk).

Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.

You say catty-wumpus and kitty-corner.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."

You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor.

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You know what "cow tipping" is.

Okay, this is really sad. I was actually in the "Miss Pork Cuisine" pageant in the local fair. And I can remember when there was a "Mr. Pork Loin" contest, but it was cancelled one year when a 300lb guy came out in a g-string and offended the "elders."

Straight from the Tap

Okay, so if you read my blog, you most likely know that I breastfeed. I enjoy breastfeeding. It helps my family in many ways. We don't dish out tons of cash for formula, in turn Erich and I get to enjoy eating as well. My baby is very very happy, ahead of the milestone timeline, and I sleep well at night (beside her!) knowing that she is getting the *best* nutrition possible. I don't think formula feeding is a great option. I really don't think it is an option at all for our family. Anyways, back to my point...

I was reading some online forums and came across an entry about extended breastfeeding and dr. phil. These women were raving about how "gross" and disgusting it was for "a 7 year old american girl" to be breastfeeding. They were talking about how formula was a "decent replacement." First off, why would it be okay for a chinese little girl to nurse at age 7 or a nigerian baby boy to nurse at age 9, but not an american girl to nurse at age 7? Aren't all three gaining the same thing from it? What makes the american girl any different?

Secondly, since when is formula "a decent replacement?" When have they ever said that formula is just as good as breastmilk? If you believe that, I'm sorry, but you are WRONG. It isn't as good, and if you have the option to breastfeed then why the hell don't you? IF you physically CAN'T, I'll pardon you right now. But if you choose not to breastfeed "because you don't want to" or because "it was to hard" I'm not very happy with you. I bled, I cried, M cried, we all cried while learning to breastfeed. I had bruises, I cried in pain, but we learned. How is it I stuck with it and you didn't? And I hate when people say, "she had a hard labor, so she thought it best to bottlefeed." What the hell? I do remember my 22 hours of undrugged labor topped off with a csection at hour 26. I STILL breastfeed. Why are people patting the backs of others to make them feel better for breastfeeding. I don't often hear people saying, "gee Suzanne, that's great that you stuck with it and pulled through" (some really great friends have said that though) or " gee Suzanne, I'm sure Magdalena demands a ton of your time and it's really great that she is still breastfeeding at 6 months" or "I know it's rough but I did it and you can too! Even when you feel like you don't ever want to be touched again, it really is worth it." So to demonstrate how awesome I think you breastfeeding moms are I give you PROPS!

"YOU ROCK! YOU BREASTFEED YOUR BABIES AND RECEIVE LITTLE TO NO RECOGNITION BUT I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT I ADMIRE YOU! YOU ARE SO SPECIAL BECAUSE YOU BREASTFEED, YOU CHOSE TO OVERCOME YOUR ISSUES AND YOUR CHILD WILL BE THE LIGHT IN YOUR EYES. AND I'M SURE HE/SHE WILL THANK YOU WHEN THEY GRADUATE FROM HARVARD MED SCHOOL!"

I won't say to your face that I'm sorry that you bottlefeed. And I won't pat you on the back and say "it's okay" because I don't really think it is.

I apologize in advance for feelings I may have hurt by writing this. This is my space on the web though and I felt compelled to spit my guts out.

And it begins. I left her ten more minutes and this is how I found her. She opened that door herself! And now I think she is stuck! :) 

I'm really not sure how she does this, but when I laid her on the floor her head was on the green pillow of the butterfly. She can turn in a full circle if I giver her long enough. She is also rolling both ways to get to things she wants. And she is scooting along the floor on her back! :) One of these days, she is just going to take off... 

Mikes Blog

If you are at all curious, Michael Moore has started blogging.

That would be Erichs finger you see in the side of the picture. I'm too lazy to crop it out. :) 

The Ups and Downs

I'm feeling a bit better. Not 100% okay, but bearable. Part of it all may be hormones, as Mother Nature (that bitch) decided to come back after about 15 months (ya know, 10 months gestating, 5 months breastfeeding). I'm still exclusively breastfeeding, but am one of the lucky few who find themselves fertile again. Guess my body thinks it's time for another one! :) Maybe I should talk with Erich...

Let me say that you, my few readers, and every single person on my blogroll ROCK my world. I consider you all friends and care about each and every one of you. If I had a secret stash of never ending cash, I would be touring the country right now to meet each and every one of you. I hope Magdalena will someday find a network of friends like I have. To name just a two (not excluding any of you), but Jennifer dropped me a line saying she sent me a birthday gift. She is the coolest most thoughtful person I have never met. If all people were 10% of the person she is, we'd be very lucky. And Rachel. I have the privilege of having short conversations here and there on the phone or online with her. She is a super cool Mom and person, and I always walk away from the conversation feeling like I was talking to the coolest kid in school. It's a great feeling.

Have I mentioned that I miss reading AndreaQ?

That's all for now. I went to a friends house today and she helped make me a sling to take in the pool. (It's a beautiful sling, but not quite as special as my Maya so I needed one to "ruin") We also made some diapers for her son, and I took pride in feeling like the crunchy mama I am. I look at Magdalena and feel like I am doing *something* right and that's a super good feeling. I don't feel that way often, and I hope others feel the same way too. I'm going swimming with Alicia tomorrow. Yay. Water. I love water. Magdalena loves the bathtub. Here's hoping she likes the pool too.

PS

On Friday, Magdalena figured out how to roll her way across the living room floor. It takes her a while to get there, but with determination, she gets there. And for the love of Pete, I feel the teeth, pop through already, those teeth are driving me batty.

Here there and everywhere

I'm around. I know I've been quiet. Some things are brewing around in my brain and I don't know how to pour them out on paper to be quite honest (or the web.) My birthday is coming up. I'm feeling a bit slighted. Mainly because everyone in RL seems to be overlooking my birthday. I realize that your birthday isn't as much excitement as when you turn five, but I'm feeling neglected. These feelings may be totally in my head and not a reality, but this is how I feel. I feel like I am taken for granted, that nobody really cares. Everyone expects me to something or be something or give something, without ever being acknowledged or thanked. I'm made to feel that I do nothing all day long, that my house is a wreck, that I'm not doing a good job when "all I do is stay home." I would like to point out that Magdalena is growing and happy and loving towards others and always giving us something new. I would like to think that I am a major part of that. Nobody else sees it that way though. She was born to be "sweet and easy to get along with" or "sweet wholesome and virtuous" (Alicia does this sound familiar?) and I have *nothing* to do with those qualities since I do not possess these qualities in others eyes. I would like to think that if it were not for my loving care, my always being here, my "staying home and doing nothing", my giving, giving, giving, to Magdalena then she wouldn't be like this. I think she would be screaming constantly and always in a bad mood. But then again I am wrong. I am never right. This bothers me a lot. I don't know how to make people stop, and when I do I'm just being "stupid, overly sensitive, and wanting the spotlight." Which is not the case at all I tell you. I just want people to stop making me feel this way. It doesn't feel good. And I don't know how to tell them that.