My Lovely Butterfly 

Snooze...

I'm exhausted. I officially have two jobs in addition to the whole Stay At Home Mom business. I went yesterday and today to take care of the couple and it's a lot of work. Nothing I can't handle, but with two kids I'm organized baby. And Alicia would be so proud of me, my laundry is all caught up, the dishes are all done, the LR is picked up, and I've vacuumed just about every day this week. Even got on the floor TWICE this week and vacuumed all the little nooks and cranies with the attachements.

I'm learning the art of traveling with a baby and a monster four year old. I have a bag packed with toys for her and for M, I have diapers, movies, food, sippy cup (for T), cup for me, purse and my sanity all packed in the trunk of the Vibe with the stroller. Taking the stroller in with me gives me a safe place to put M while I do things like shower old people and take them to the bathroom. Throw in a swim lesson for the day and I practically carry the house with me. We get back and everyone goes down for naps, except me. :( I start cleaning my house to make sure I don't get behind. I'm getting used to the schedule though, and I'm thinking that if the 30 day trial goes well and they stay in assisted living that I could probably do this two or three times a week. The $$$ I got today made me feel goooood. Gooood, I tell you.

Tomorrow is a very busy day. LLL meeting, quick run into Walmart for some cheap coke, swim lesson, quick naps, bath for M, and pictures for M. She is so freaking cute these days it makes me want to puke! :) I'm positive that this time around, the pictures are going to be fabulous with her two tooth grin and her little bottom sitting up all by herself. It makes me giddy how cute she's going to be. And Erich let me buy her an outfit over the weekend for pictures, a pair of overalls and a pink polo shirt onesie thing. I also have a sundress for an alternate outfit (must remember to iron that stuff TONIGHT) . I'll have to post a picture. Oh, and I know that I shouldn't be going to Walmart and drinking cheap Sams Choice coke. I know that caffeine is bad for you and it just keeps me fat. But dangit, I'm working 250 plus hours on top of my official job of SAHM. Don't I deserve a little addiction?

Breastfeed Baby!

Go check out these ads for breastfeeding. Some are pretty funny! :)

BABIES ARE BORN TO BE BREASTFED! WOOT! :)

Everybody Poops

As we were drying off after swim lessons today, some teenage girls swarmed around Magdalena (who was sitting in the stroller since I had to get in the pool.) Magdalena loves this since she loves "young" people and she loves attention. She is a diva, remember!? Here is the conversation that followed.

Girls: Oh she's so cute, even though I don't like babies. They poop to much.

Me: Well, she's a breastfed baby, so her poop doesn't stink. It makes it better.

Girls: REALLY? I'm breastfeeding ALL of my babies so their poop won't stink.

**grin** It warmed my heart. Now hopefully they'll remember that 10 years from now when they have babies.

Dreamland

I had a dream last night that as I was walking through a restaurant with Erich, we bumped in to Dani and Dawn. They were with their husbands and Erich stopped to talk to the men, because apparently he knew them. I said hello to the ladies and Dani looked at me as if I were an alien. I said, "I know we've never met in person, but I'm Suzanne from 'happily ever after'" She gave me this half smile like "thats great, but I don't really care." Erich finished his conversation and we moved on. I felt a bit stung. Then I woke up to nurse a baby.

Is this dream weird? Why on Earth did I dream this? The randomness of my dreams lately is really bugging me. I'm wondering if the entire universe is a bit mixed up in some way that my subconscious is responding to. Has anyone else had really weird dreams lately?

Can you see my teeth? 

This is fun! 

Weee! 

A rare occasion-- a picture in which I don't think I look half bad. Magdalena has a weird smile, but overall a cute picture. 

Is It Enough?

No matter how much I do in a day, I never seem to feel like I've done enough. I get the feeling that Erich feels the same way, but never says anything. I like to tell myself that it is all in my head, but it isn't helping.

And I'm tired. I'm more tired now then when I was pregnant. T is really really really wearing me out. Every task is a battle whether it's a meal, putting socks on, or going to the bathroom. She makes me want to stick my head in a pillow and scream. And even if you tell her not to do something, she does it anyways. I'll ask her, " why did you just do x when I told you not to?" Her response, "because I wanted to." AHHHH!

I start my new job next week. Erich is bugging me about going to Missouri to visit family. I don't think we have the cash to do it, nor do I feel like I have the energy to do it. He wants to ride with his brother and SIL. They don't have children. SIL doesn't seem to appreciate having children around. They want to go on Labor Day weekend and I'm not sure how they could deal with a 7 1/2 month old for 6-8 hours each way in a car. There is only so much car time she can handle. And they'd have to stop more than usual because they wouldn't be cool with me bf'ing in the car (and I don't think I'd be comfortable with them too) and she does eat an awful lot. I've postponed starting solids until 7 months and I'll re-evaluate then. So she eats a fair amount during the day. Do they realize what this entails?

Life can be so darn tiring.

Army Moves

While writing that entry, Magdalena army crawled backwards across the room.  Have I mentioned that I'm tired?

Filling In The Blanks

I'm exhausted.  This weekend was pretty good.  Magdalena and I went up to see Grammy (my mom)  and Grampy with Nana and Pa and enjoyed a steak dinner out.  Yum.    Erich went to his brothers house to help him do a landscaping job.  Instead of coming back with cash, he came back with gravel.  Nice gravel though that I think he'll be incorporating into the ongoing driveway project. 

Saturday evening we joined our friends at the driven.  We watched "the Bourne Supremacy" and " Spiderman 2."  Fun fun, though very very late.  We got home around 2am.  Luckily I had given the diva a bath prior to leaving.  She had also had some motrin because I assumed her teeth were bothering her (and she was running a fever of about a 100 or so).  I hate giving her something when I don't really know what is bothering her, but I tried nursing, patting, bouncing, swinging (outside which she loves) and nothing helped.  She even cried a bit in the bathtub which is so not like her.  She slept from about 8 till midnight then woke to nurse. 

Sunday I went to get groceries.  I stopped in at Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a stockpot! yay! I've wanted a stockpot for a while.  It's a small one, 8 quarts, but with the mail in rebate and coupon I had, it only cost me $5.  It's big enough though that I'm having a hard time finding a proper home in the kitchen for it.  I also made a trip to the evil store and Sams Club for some laundry stuff.  Magdalena and I were both exhausted from the numerous in and out of the car routines we had to perform.  We came home and chilled and watched the end of a movie with Erich.  A bit later, Erich and I took the exersaucer out onto the porch and he weed eated the yard while I mowed (we were both watching M).  We then took a gigantic walk on a perfect evening.  The temperatures have cooled off considerably and haven't really gone above 70 since Saturday.  So it was actually cold on our walk.  It was very odd. 

As of Monday, T is back with us fulltime.  Well, 200 plus hours a month.  It's exhausting.  She threw a huge fit in the middle of the library (complete with screaming) and screamed even more when I dragged her out of the library and ended our visit early.  I can not stand a 4 year old child screaming in the middle of a library.  We had a long talk about how you listen when adults ask you to do things and that it isn't appropriate to throw tantrums.  We also talked about how four year old girls getting ready to go to preschool in a few weeks shouldn't throw tantrums and that is unacceptable behaviour at school.  We were supposed to go to swimming lessons after that (they were cancelled because it wasn't 70 degrees outside) and that during swim lessons I didn't want to even see her hesitate when she was asked to do something.  She was perfectly behaved the rest of the day and even asked for seconds at lunch and asked me what kind of macaroni and cheese she was eating because it was deelicious.  She cracks me up.

I also baked some bread over the weekend, cut a cantaloupe, and made PB cookies. I really really need to make some tortillas.  I finished up all the corn tortillas I made last time by making tortilla chips.  I should make the flour tortillas tonight so we can have cheese quesadillas tomorrow for lunch. 

Yesterday I cleaned the LR from top to bottom and dusted lots of stuff that miss the usual go round.  I even climbed on a chair and dusted my fan!  I ran the vacuum, and I swear that there is enough hair in it to make another dog.  I'm seriously going to shave Gracy bald.  It will grow back, I promise.  She looks like an over loved teddy bear.  She really isn't into people lately.  As Erich said, she acts as if she is bitter and hates the world. 

As if I'm not doing enough around my house and watching T, I have a new part time job starting next week.  I'll be doing some adult sitting (with Magdalena and T) about 3 times a week from 7am to noon.  It's going to add about 45 to 50 hours a month to my work schedule and about 400 plus dollars to our income.  We really need this, but I can't figure out how I'm working about 100 hours more a month than when I had an actual job and making half the money.  It's depressing.  Alicia said I need to get super organized which is the polite way of saying that I need to get my act together.  I'm really going to have to focus and not lose track of my time or my house is going to slip more than I feel like it already is.   I thought I was supposed to be a SAHM? 

And here is my other dilemma.  I quit my job to stay home with Magdalena.  I'm worried that all this other activity is taking away from her.  So I need to be super focused on her and make sure she gets 150% of the attention that I wanted her to have so I don't feel like I'm working myself to death and not giving her what she needs. 

So beginning next week I'll be taking care of 5 other people on an almost daily basis.  I'll be working 250 hours or so "outside" my home and have to keep my home together and keep my sanity.  I'm thinking blogging may be a bit crazy while I get into the swing of things. 

Tooth Fairy

You know how I've been telling you that Magdalena has some teeth and haven't really given you proof?  Well, it's been really hard to get her to let us stick a camera in her mouth, but I present for your viewing pleasure, a picture of her teeth.

Magdalena and Daddy play with the gloworm before Daddy leaves for work.  

Magdalena and Daddy 

Not a creature was stirring...

not even a mouse.

Naptime.  Never has such a word seemed so glorious to me.  Naptime.  T and Magdalena are asleep.  Amen!  We went to the grocery store this morning, dropped the groceries off at the house for Erich to put away, went to Nanas, then to eat lunch, then to the park, back to Nanas.  Then we took Nana with us to the library for a special presentation (Bobby T Bookworms Magical Library Adventure) then went to Nanas and helped her clean up for her company.  Now we are back home and everyone is asleep.  I'd like to join them, but diapers need to be washed along with a few dishes and I need to make pizza dough for dinner.  I also need to make some bread, corn tortillas, tortilla chips, and flour tortillas.  Oy.

Naptime. 

Hot and Moldy

It's been terribly hot around here.  And a storm ripped through last night that really actually scared me.  I was at Alicia's house at the time and her husband gets "excited" about storms since the tornados that went through there a few weeks back.  Her power went out 3 or 4 times in a matter of 10 minutes or so, so it was a bit scary.  Another storm is about to rip through here any minute.

We have the window air conditioners running, but it seems like they are constantly trying to keep up.  I'm sure I'll have mild heart attack when the electric bill comes.  And the bread I made at the end of last week went moldy early because of the humidity.  Oh well, I need to make corn tortilla chips for the salsa still left in the fridge, flour tortillas, and corn tortillas (since I'll use up the reserve making chips!), so I'll just add bread to the list.  I found a recipe for dog biscuits (I know you are laughing at me now!) and I'd like to try that and see how that goes over with Ella and Gracy.  It would be really nice to make them considering buying them is so expensive. 

Okay, I'm going to turn off the computer since the storm is almost here.  I'm going to try and get to Nana's while it's still dry with Magdalena.  I find I prefer these storms with others because of Magdalena.  :)  Adios!

My How They Grow...

Magdalena is moving.  Inch by inch, slowly, scooting across the Living Room floor.   I noticed this yesterday at Alicia's house.  I set a toy out of her reach and about five minutes later she got to it.  Yes, she moves slowly, but the point is that she's moving.  And she rolls completely over all the way across the living room floor, until she bumps into something.  At which point she whines for me to move that something (or her) or she starts in the other way.  And she sits unassisted, did I tell you that?  She has been for a few weeks now.  Oh, and this morning while at Nana's Erich and I watched as she got up on all fours and started rocking back and forth.  I have no doubt that once she gets going, it will only be a short time before she's up on two legs. 

She hasn't had any solid food yet.  I think that people are just plain sick of asking and me telling them no, cause they seemed to have stopped asking.  heh.  :) 

Who took my baby?

This morning I reached in Magdalena's mouth, it's become a morning ritual.  Her other bottom tooth poked through.  :(  Two bottom teeth.  I didn't cry this time, but it's still bittersweet.  She isn't a tiny baby anymore.   She's growing up way to fast! 

PS no crying, no screaming, nothing.  Just a new tooth and a big grin.  How did I get so lucky?