Surviving the Easter Egg Hunt

We survived. Today I am super super super super super crampy? Is that supposed to happen? Has anyone experienced crampiness the day after ovulation? Seems to soon. I told Erich that something was going on in my uterus. I also said that I just hope his boys aren't yelling "abort mission abort mission!" Now was that TMI?

Super tired. I'll have a better update tomorrow. Okay?

The Easter Egg

Yesterday while cruising the web, I was reading about how eggs and easter came together and how eggs are a sign of fertility. Girls used to give there current interest an egg to let them know they were interested. Eggs seem to be a hot topic in my head these days. Today I am CD12 and still waiting to O. The two cycles I have used clomid on, I have ovulated on CD16. CD16 this cycle is Sunday and as many know Sunday is Easter. So hopefully my Easter Egg will turn into a tiny little baby. How appropriate that it falls on that day. Is it an omen? I'm really really hoping so, because I'd really like to get pregnant on Sunday.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

While we were in the hospital, Erich and I talked about how we lacked exercise and the outdoors. So we made it a deal to get out and walk somewhere every day. We've been doing this and although it's been a bit cold, it's been gorgeous. The sun has been shining and the birds are chirping and other people are out riding bikes and generally getting ready for spring. So everyday we have some errand to run. We put our coats on and put Magdalena bundled up in to the stroller and wrapped with a blanket and take off. It's cold but it is wonderful to have the sun on us and the fresh air in our faces. I can't wait to get out into the yard and get some stuff done. Our crocuses are coming up and it's wonderful to see that hint of spring, even if they will only be around for a few weeks. I can't wait to get Magdalena outside in the yard to run around and play in the dirt. Spring is just around the corner and like everyone else, we seem to be really ready for it.

Double the Clomid, Double the Fun

With all the puking and pooping, my period and all of its glory was shoved to the back of the burner. While I am sad I didn't get pregnant this last cycle, it didn't surprise me. Erich and I admitted to each other Saturday that we both were kinda thinking in our head "why would we get lucky and get pregnant the first time like we did with Magdalena?" I call that the power of the mind. Oh and the fact that we were both super stressed during the "O" time of that cycle. We all had colds and my great aunt died. And with Magdalena sick, I didn't have the time to think and grieve about my period. I only had time to silently curse and call the nurse for a pad. (A gigantic plastic nasty pad BTW.) The next morning, I called my mom and asked if she could please bring me something since all of my cloth was at home and I really only have one days worth of cloth. (I just wash daily. I never buy more because I'm planning on getting pregnant! Then I'll stock up on PP pads) Anyways, she was sad as I think she was pretty hopeful and getting used to the idea of another baby coming.

So by the time I got home from the hospital, we were on CD4 and ready to start Clomid the next day. On Monday morning, I did get the call from the OB and I asked for clomid. I picked up the prescription and was surprised to find 10 tiny pills instead of the normal 5. I kept thinking, "they doubled my dose?" I always thought that since I did ovulate on 50mg, that they would just keep it at 50 mg. So, starting last Wednesday and through Sunday I pumped my body full of a total of 500mg of Clomid. The symptoms were awful. And now we wait for the O.

And I guess I should mention that during the end of the last cycle, I had dreams of four positive pregnancy tests. The important part of that dream was that the tests were store bought and not the internet tests we have been using. I also had a dream that I gave birth to twin boys. And my friend had a dream that I gave birth to a baby boy. Since taking all of that clomid, I've had the twin dream two more times. I really think the double dose has morphed my brain. heh. So we're all hopeful around here and Erich and I are both thinking "why wouldn't it work this cycle?" :) I think we are all thinking that a Right Before Christmas Baby would be total bliss (and get me out of cooking a Christmas dinner!).

The Weary Mother

It occurred to me that most people are probably thinking that I am an over reactor. They probably thought, "sheesh, her daughter just had the stomach flu! Big deal!" Well, I was thinking the same thing until my mom of all people said "it's a good thing you took her to the hospital when you did." So let me paint the picture for you.

Saturday morning, Magdalena started fussing like she wanted to nurse. I moved her in the bed to nurse on a different side and as I lifted my shirt up, she puked. So I handed her to Erich to take to the tub. When I handed her to Erich, she puked all over his back. (Apparently, he now has Daddy Powers that make him immune to feeling ill over bodily fluids. Yay.) So I bathed her and brought her a new pair of PJs and got her out of the tub. Erich got in the tub at that time and while I was dressing her, she puked again. This marks 3 times in the course of about 15 minutes. So back to the shower she went with Daddy and after she got out, you guessed it!, she puked again. This continued for the next hour and a half until I finally just took her to the ER. In the fifteen minute drive she puked three or four times. It was awful. In the ER, they took chest Xrays and blood work to make sure she wasn't housing any pneumonia. The entire time at the ER she continued puking every five minutes. She was miserable. They brought her some phenergran and she promptly fell asleep. At that time, I felt like we could go home and they agreed. My mom and StepDad met me at my house and Magdalena continued to sleep for about an hour or so. This was at about 11am or 1130. At noon, she woke and started puking again. We tried giving her some pedialyte because she was wretching and fussing. She nursed often out of choice, but immediately after unlatching, she'd vomit everywhere. At around 1pm she started with the liquid poop. She had liquid poop every fifteen minutes and in between the liquid poop she would vomit. This continued and at about 3pm I called the on call doctor. I was informed that he wouldn't be picking up messages until 6pm, but I could speak to the ER doc since I had been there that morning. The ER called some phenegran in. We gave it to her and she slept a bit, but every time she woke up she puked and pooped. Around 8pm Erich got home (he had to do a service call on a computer) and I had already placed a call to on call doctor. So much was coming out of her, nothing was going in not even breastmilk, and she was just laying there. When the oncall doc called back, he thought that we were losing the fight. He had us bring her in as a direct admit for IV fluids. He thought we would only be there overnight and that the next day she would be "as good as new."

Sunday morning when he came in, she wasn't perky. She was still just laying there so he decided that we should probably keep her another day. Let me back up a bit, Saturday night she started running a fever. Her little body felt like it was on fire. I kept asking them to take her temperature. When they did, they'd take it under the arm and get numbers like 97.7 or 98.5 and said she was fine. Sunday morning after the doctor left the room, I had the nurse take it again but this time they took it in the ear. 103.7. I was furious. Magdalena was absolutely miserable and they ignored me when I told them over and over and over that she really did have a fever. They started giving her motrin and tylenol and her fever held steady at 102 to 103 all day long on both meds. This continued through the night sometimes reaching 104.1 on both meds. They eventually just left thermometer in the room with me. heh. I think they got sick of me asking to take her temp. Sunday night I put cool cloths on her back and held her all night long. She hadn't puked, but the liquid poop was still very persistent.

Monday morning, our regular doctor came in to see us. He felt that her temperature was "impressive" and that meant a lot coming from him, as he isn't one to get excited over fevers. He felt we needed to stay in and keep an eye on her fever and keep her fluids going since the fever was so high with meds. I also asked for a clear fluids diet to be started.

By Monday evening, she was feeling a bit better but still pretty mellow. She played with me for about an hour that night, which made me feel good. By Tuesday morning, when Dr. S got there, I had already packed up our stuff and was ready to go home! She was holding down fluids and I think we both needed the comforts of home. He agreed and that ended our very first hospital visit (and hopefully our last!).

Thanks

Magdalena wanted me to thank you all for the well wishes. The stay was uneventful, but having worked in a hospital, some things really ticked me off. I'm so glad to be home, though we are still dealing with some nastiness associated with the illness. And since coming home from the hospital, M has become really really really clingy, but she is getting back to her old self by the day.

Home Sweet Home

We're home. I'll update about our stay after a bit.

Update

Not pregnant. Started period Saturday night. It's okay. They are calling in a new script for another round of clomid. Crossing my fingers and feeling really good about this next cycle.

Magdalena is not doing well at all. We came back to the hospital Saturday night as a direct admit. We thought we'd be home yesterday morning, but she wasn't feeling much better. The vomiting has stopped, just dealing with diarrhea. They have her on IV fluids and breastmilk. She got to start clear fluids this morning. She has been battling a really impressive fever. Yesterday her fever held steady at 103 reaching sometimes to 104 on both motrin and tylenol. They are keeping us another day and are hopeful that we'll be home tomorrow. I'll try to update then.

I Can Hold Out On Testing...

but my husband can't. :) He made me test at 13dpo. And at 13dpo he saw a very very very very very very very faint second line. At 15dpo, he made me test again and it was negative. Heh. So I went to the doctor to get my blood drawn. I ran out of tests and I'm dirt poor. Why am I paying for insurance just to sit there? They should have had my blood work back by days end, but didn't get a chance to call me. :( Still no signs of AF. And my face! Oh my face has broken out like it has never ever ever broken out. I didn't even look this bad as a teenager! So something is going on. I'm well aware that you aren't supposed to test until at least 18dpo to reduce the risk of false negatives, so please tell my husband that. :) I should know more Monday. I'm prepared for a negative result. I am still hopeful for a positive though. My mind says "Maybe I'm pregnant and it's a boy because my face never broke out with Magdalena. I'm not puking, though I'm a bit queasy. And it's taking forever to find out..." So who knows. Sorry to keep ya hanging.

Shana (and Manda): I didn't get a temp this morning because I woke up with a toddler puking. Two baths later, an hour, and puking every five minutes I loaded Magdalena into the car and we enjoyed our First Visit to the ER. We spent the morning there and after blood tests and Xrays we ruled out pneumonia and ear infection and crap like that. (You should have seen the look on the Xray techs face when I told her I may or may not be pregnant. I think she wanted to make me test before she would let me in the room! But I prevailed and I was there to comfort my babe and my maybe unborn babe was covered by a sheet of thick lead. So everything is OK. ) So we're home and she is still puking. I called the ER back at 3pm and asked for a script for phenegran suppositories. She had that at 3:30 and she can have one every 12 hours. Problem is that she is still puking through the medicine so I'm wondering how long we continue until we go back to the ER for some dehydration. So yeah no temp this morning. Sick baby. I guess she wanted to take my mind off the waiting. heh.

Shana, do you have a site back up? If you do let me know! I've missed you! Email me with the email at the top so we can catch up, okay? :)

Manda, I promise to email you soon. I'm so looking forward to the mail on Friday. :)

Ovaries! And Elbows! And Legs! Oh My!

Okay, so Mamabear implied that I haven't updated my blog. I'm really sorry. Things have been busy, and I haven't really been feeling that great. So here is my update.

Today I am 7dpo. I think I had a pretty clear ovulation, with pains and mucous and temps. Gross, huh? I'm pretty sure we timed this correctly. (As a side note, it's so much harder to muster up the energy to procreate with a toddler around. I'm pretty sure it didn't take so much effort last time. heh.) I was a bit crampy pre-o and a bit crampy post 0. I was really crampy for about an hour in the evening at 5dp0, which someone thinks may have been implantation. Here is a link to my chart. You can see Magdalena's chart on the same page for reference. I have a pap on Monday. I'm hoping she can give me hope or confirmation or something. Sunday I will be 10dpo, which means I could possibly get a positive test. This 2ww business is rough.

The lady I take care of in the mornings broke her elbow really bad. She was with her daughter when it happened. She also has a hairline fracture in a hip. She had outpatient surgery and they sent her back to the assisted living place. I deemed it completely inappropriate for her to be in that environment and said that I wasn't able to take care of her in this condition. She needed/needs nursing home care until the cast comes off of her elbow and she has some physical therapy. So she is in a swing bed in the hospital. I feel like the Bad Guy for sending her out of her home, but really I think it was the best case for everybody.

Magdalena is walking. She toddles just about everywhere these days and it is absolutely adorable. She learned how to eat with a spoon too, I just have to scoop the food into it first. She is a lot of fun. She currently has 10 teeth! Both molars on the top have popped through and I feel a third molar. Poor baby has been miserable the past few days. She'll ask for cheerios then put one in her mouth and scream in pain. :(

Not much else going on. Just hanging out and waiting to test.

Who Links Here

The Big Secret

I'm on clomid. Day 2 of clomid, Day 6 of my cycle. I had my cycle induced a few weeks ago. I took provera for 5 days and then 3 days afterward I started to bleed. I really worried for a while there that I wouldn't bleed. Clomid was prescribed for days 5-9. I started it yesterday. Today I'm feeling a bit hot flashy. I just found out that a friend is pregnant. She cycled once completely and on the second she got pregnant. I'm not sure if it's the drugs or if I would react this way normally, but I'm angry, hurt, sad, and scared. I realy don't understand why it can be so easy for some people and not so easy for others. The stupid part of me thought that all the hurt and suffering of losing a father so young was enough. I thought maybe I had paid my dues. But it wasn't easy to get pregnant with Magdalena. And the another stupid part of me thought that maybe when I tried to get pregnant again, it would be easy. Obviously I'm pretty dumb. It took one round of clomid to get pregnant with Magdalena, so hopefully I'll be pregnant next week. So could ya'll send me some heavy duty baby dust?

And if you're keeping track it's:

Infertility 2
Suzanne 1

Why Did They Rob Me?

Today started out so well. I went to a see a friend who is staying in a hotel to go swimming. We had fun in the pool and such and then went back to the room to rinse off and give the babies a bath. I heard my cell phone ringing and answered it. It's a credit card company saying that they think there is fraudulent activity on my card. And there is. An hour earlier someone had tried to charge over a $100 at banana republic. Obviously, it was a good thing I had told the credit card company my dress size when I applied for the card, because any sane person realizes that not only would I not buy Banana Republic, their clothes would not fit me. Hrmph. Not only that but they also had other charges through the week amounting upwards of $600. They denied the BR charge and I'm not sure about the other charges. I've been locked out of accessing my account online. They've closed the account and are starting an official investigation. Grr. This really really really ticks me off. I feel so violated too. Grr.

On a good note, when I got home there was a box from Adagio Teas with a starter set and a teapot. Lovely. It's delicious. I'm sitting here, fuming about the unfortunate events of my life, and drinking very very delicious tea.

A Year Goes So Fast

I really have neglected my blog. Sorry, lots going on that I feel like I can't talk about here just yet, but I'll talk soon though. Promise.

Magdalena has been up to so much! Here are the highlights!

• Her hair has been growing like crazy. It's all wild and I had to pick out the first knot in the back the other day!
• She has NINE teeth! She's had eight since the beginning of last month. Last night while brushing her teeth I found a molar! Crazy. I can feel the molar on the other side too so sleepless nights are in my future I think.
• Her vocabulary increases by the hour. She mocks so much that we say and puts it into action later. She now says "Mommy, Dada, Hi, Bye, OK" and she barks like a dog. The barking is stinking hilarious. Tuesday night we were watching TV and Gracy walked by. Magdalena got down on all fours and started barking.
• She has a "magdalena sized" chair that she climbs on and off all day. The other day Daddy turned some cartoons on for her and she sat in the chair and watched TV. (Mommy was busy, Daddy was in charge.) Occasionally she would stand up on the chair to see where I was and yell "hi!"
• She waves Bye bye now, but only if she knows you. Strangers still make her shy!
• She still loves to give kisses.
• She cuddles a lot. She comes up to you and gives you a hug and pats your back. It's too cute. (One day Erich and I were talking and he said " you know, Magdalena has really started to cuddle a lot more. I reallly like that." **swoon** He hates it when I tell that story. heh.
• She can walk. She is a chicken. She doesn't voluntarily choose to walk. :) After seeing other walking babies, she walks more. And daily she seems to get a tiny bit braver. It doesn't bother me though, since I know that she can walk.
• She loves to play the come and get me game. She'll crawl away from me and look back to see if I'm following her. I come up behind her and say "mommy's going to get you!" and she squeals and starts crawling towards the stairs and up them as fast as she can. When you finally get her she squeals and claps with delight!
• She tickles me and loves it! She puts her little fingers on my neck and move them randomly and says (while laughing) "ticky, ticky, ticky!" She squeals with delight when I laugh and say "oh that tickles Mommy! Oh no! hehe" (there is another word she says "ticky")
• She is such a girly girl. She squeals and laughs and flirts. I didn't think my house would be filled with squealing girly laughter yet, but it is, and we LOVE it!
• She claps all of the time. She claps when I put the legos away (probably because I clap when she does it! heh). She claps when people on TV clap and when she hears a song she likes. She also claps when she walks ( I wonder where she picked that up!)
• She points when she wants something.
• She has started to eat three meals a day, plus your meals, plus snacks. She drinks a bit of cows milk every few days, lots of water, and breastmilk.
• Despite all the food she shoves into her tiny body, she weighs 17lbs 5 ounces and is 28 inches long. She's a tiny petite thing!
• I finally moved all of the 3-6 month clothes out of her dresser and put it away. She still wears the 3-6 month onesies though. She is in 6-9 month clothing. I also put her in some 12 month clothing for length, but they have so much room in there! Insane!
• She brushes her teeth after I brush her teeth. If you forget to hand her her toothbrush after we're done, she protests loudly. I must not do a good enough job.
• She loves to have her hair brushed, but only by me and Daddy. She won't let my Mom brush her hair for some reason. At night we have to go through a routine where I brush Magdalena's hair and then she brushes Mommy's hair and then she brushes Daddy's hair. She finishes this up by giving him a big kiss. :)
• She likes to pick the baby doll Abby up, give her a big hug, and saying "ah" and then she tries to steal the baby's pacifier. heh.
• She likes to pull her socks off and stick her foot in my nose when changing diapers. When I smell her feet I squeal "oooo shoowee! Stinky feet!" and she giggles uncontrollably.
• Whenever you hand her the phone, she puts it up to her ear and says "HI!" Sometimes she holds conversations, "HI! babybbbaabbabab. dddd. pftttt! Bye" Recently when I'm on the phone, she MUST say hello to the person on the other end. If not she cries and cries and cries. When she's done saying hi though, she gladly gives the phone back to me.

That's all I can think of now, though I'm sure I'm forgetting something. She changes daily. I'm amazed at how she becomes more and more like a little girl instead of a baby every day. I'm still reminded of how babyish she still is though, when she climbs into my lap, lays down, and nurses to sleep.

Tea Time

Hey, while you're reading some blogs, go check out Adagio Teas!

Tea

Tide and Boobs

If I didn't know any better, I would think that all I did all day long is do laundry and breastfeed. Now lately I've been keeping up with the HA forums and read about 10 books, but whenever Erich asks me what I've done today, the only things that pop into my head are doing laundry and nursing the baby. Take today for instance, I went to the assisted living place and **drumroll** did the laundry. I did about four loads there while nursing the baby in between each load. Afterwards I came home and nursed the baby to sleep. While she was sleeping, I started our laundry. I've done about three loads so far and probably have 3 more plus diapers. (How on earth do we create that much laundry in a week? sheesh.) I also cleaned out the nursery clothes, creating a giant pile of 3-6 month clothes that she finally outgrew. I have the task of sorting the clothes into girl clothes and nuetral clothes and putting them in bins and storing them in her closet. A few weeks back, I sorted the diapers and put newborn diapers in a bottom drawer and current diapers in the top drawer.

So now you know why Tide and Boobs are the only things I can recall doing today.

No strings attatched...

I've got no strings to pull me down...

Hey, I'm in my living room connected to the internet! I'm sitting on the couch! Erichs friend gave him a laptop yesterday that didn't work and he couldn't fix it. My super husband had it working within 20 minutes of getting home! Yeehaw! So today we purchased a wireless connection (something we've been talking about forever) and now he's in the office playing on the internet and I'm in the LR. That really rocks dude. No more fights over the computer AND I can be where the kids are and on the internet at the same time! I can take the internet into the kitchen and not run back and forth to the office to check conversions, search for subsitutes, or go to my alltime favorite recipe site www.allrecipes.com! Life feels good right now. :) Now I'm pretty sure I need to work on making sure everything else gets done in the house! :)

I need to go because Erich needs me to download ZoneAlarm. :) Now hopefully I'll update more often.

Could it be....

an implantation dip on my chart?

Why are all those people staring at me? And why am I wearing this ridiculous hat? 

I'm eating the cake, do I have to make a mess?