Thursday, March 30, 2006

Moving Along

We're taking it one day at a time here. Magdalena seems to get busier and busier by the day. Cuter too, but definitely busy. And with each passing day, I seem to get a bit slower and more tired. 11 weeks left and it seems right around the corner, and very far away at the same time.

Magdalena and I talk about the baby's arrival a lot. We talk about how the baby will "durse" and Magdalena can still durse to. She generally agrees with me, but sometimes I think she just agrees with me so I'll shut up, LOL. She's like her father like that. ;)

I had my OB appointment on Tuesday. It was a good appointment. I politely refused her glucose tolerance test. It made me so sick last time and I really couldn't see myself going through that hell again. So, she agreed to let me just check my blood sugars for a week. I think that is a nice compromise if I do say so myself. :) We also bickered a bit about prophylactic antibiotics after surgery. So, we made another compromise. I will be receiving some antibiotics after surgery, but I won't get their usual amounts. I'm happy with that. I'll start tanking up on probiotics before surgery.

I was also told that if I go into labor after 35 weeks she won't stop me. That's really cool, because my old OB (who moved out of state after M was born) would have stopped me all the way up until 37 weeks. I don't anticipate going into labor, but it's nice to know that I wouldn't be stopped if I did. We also decided that if I do go into labor before my scheduled section, we'll play it by ear. If I come in, with no obvious progress, then I'm game for a section. If I come in dilated to 6 with bulging waters/broken waters, and it appears she's coming, well we'll go for it. So if I do go into labor early, I'll be staying home to see if it happens. Heh.

Blood pressure was great, I haven't gained any weight, just stayed the same as 5 weeks ago. I'm measuring between 29 and 30, so about 2 weeks ahead. I've said it before, with Magdalena I measured ahead the entire time. My uterus is very accomodating complete with spacious rooms and high vaulted ceilings. ;)

We start two week appointments now! Wow! So next appointment is April 10. It's so weird because I know that there is a baby coming, right? But it's still hard for me to grasp that there is a baby coming. It's a very different feeling from when Magdalena was coming, where I knew there was this new baby coming, but I didn't comprehend it fully. This one feels more like a dream. I know what is headed for me, but I can't comprehend that we've created this other being who will be here very shortly.

I also can't imagine what she'll look like or how she'll behave. She already reacts to different voices. Squeals from her sister send my belly into fits. Sometimes I'm not sure if she's saying "hey I can't wait to come and meet you" or if she's thinking "HUSH! I'm trying to sleep!" I looked at Magdalena the other day and was thinking about how much she looks like me and acts like Erich. At that moment I was *positive* that bambina would look just like her Daddy. I wonder if she will. Will she look like Erich and act like me? (Good Lord I hope not. I'm enough to deal with. Heh.) Will she look just like her sister? I can't imagine another little girl as beautiful as Magdalena, but I know she will be equally as beautiful. I'm excited and terrified. I'm sad for Magdalena that I will no longer be able to devote 100% of my time to her, but I'm elated that she will have a baby sister so close in age. I'll miss having Magdalena all to myself to, you know? But I'm thrilled to be a mother again. I know this is probably normal, but I still think about it. Things will never be the same, you know? It's funny because right before Magdalena was born, I had this same panic sort of feeling. I knew things would never be the same and I had to mourn the passing of an era of just Erich and myself. This is the same thing. It won't ever shadow the ultimate joy I have in my heart at the thought of adding to my family, but I would be lying if I didn't think about the passing of this era also. Am I only the one who feels like this?