Saturday, June 28, 2003

My mom gave me this sewing machine (remember that I'm Betty Crocker) because I really wanted one. It came from a friend of hers and it is in a sewing cabinet (a very nice oak one) and to heavy and such to lug to her new house besides that my stepdad bought her one of those really really cool new ones with all the neatest stuff on it (and she doesn't use it! ha! go figure!). She said she thought it worked but I haven't had the time to sit down and play with it. She gave me some fabric the other day for me to make a baby blanket. The back side fabric is yellow and the front is moons and stars (yellow and blue). She said I could make a quilt and that it might help me calm down a bit since these have been a rough few weeks. (I also need to make drapes eventually for the nursery but also recover and drape box in the living room and make pillows for the couch and for our bed, did I mention that I am also Martha Stewart?) Anyways this model is EXTREMELY old and I can usually thread newer models after tinkering with them for a few minutes but this is a bit more complicated. So I figured I could probably hop online and find something that would help. The model number is 15. That's right folks. It is the 15th Singer model sewing machine. They have over 200 now! They charge $15 manuals but for this particular it is available as a free download. Like yeah you idiot, if you are too cheap to buy a brand new sewing machine, I doubt you'll buy a manual for a very old machine. I just found that very funny. **sigh** Someone please send my brain back to me!
Okay I'm officially nuts. E's mom called to say she saw the u/s picture yada yada yada. Then she said she had been out at rummage sales all morning and that she had bought like a bathtub, a swing, etc etc etc. I think it's great that she is excited and wants to buy us stuff, but I don't want all used stuff. I know that sounds really snobby but this is our first baby. I want new stuff (which the stuff she bought is stuff that people will buy us in showers anyways). I want new stuff now because I know that this won't be our only baby *God willing* and I want it to be nice and new so that it will last a long time. Is that wrong? It's exciting to think of all the new and pretty things. I could probably handle some second hand stuff from people we knew but these are from random strangers. I don't know where it's been and stuff like that. Now I don't mind hand me down clothes if they are stain ridden and so forth just because they are so expensive and are constant recurring needs, ya know? Am I being totally irrational and hormonal?

And on another note, I don't think it's wise to have all the "big" stuff before I get to 12 weeks. It isn't needed yet and I don't want her to jinx me. I don't think that nurseries or registrys or stuff like that need to be done until the late second trimester. My mom brings us small things, little tiny toys or a pair of socks, but mostly just stuff for me like stretchy pants and rasberry lemonade. I just don't want to go overboard. My gut says that this will last and to sit back and relax, I just don't want to do anything to mess it up, ya know?

Okay I've completely lost my mind probably and you all will think that I'm some silly hormonal pregnant woman sitting at the computer crying my eyes out but this is what goes through my mind. You guys seem to be my only friends right now. Most of my friends are finishing up college and my best friend Phoebe is touring the country speaking at bible camps. I miss her. I need a friend.
Why must nausea wake me up every morning?

Friday, June 27, 2003

I'm not feeling to terrific at all. I don't know if it was something I ate or if it is all the book rearranging or what, but I'm going to barf (again) . Bleh. Maybe I should go home.
"I still hurt real bad with it " and "they never told me nothing"
A hero among all college students.
Wanna adopt a chicken?
Will this stop HIV?
My birthday is in one week! Do you know how young I'll be?
Weird dream last night. I dreamt I was still pregnant but farther along. I could feel the baby kicking ( I thought of him as a him in the dream) and I could feel his little foot. It was way to cool. :)
A quote I'd like to share!

" What's the use of sending a $2 million missle into a $10 tent to hit a camel in the butt?"
--George W. Bush

Thursday, June 26, 2003

Here is the latest ultrasound picture!
Sad news here at work. They are laying off a ton of people today. Sad, sad. Go here to learn more.
Messing with the comments section. Please bear with me.
I'm back from the doctor and the baby has gotten so big!! I can hardly believe it. And there his little heart was beating away at 178 beats a minute! Wow. It's finally sinking in. He measures right on schedule at 8 weeks 5 days. :) I'll post the picture when I get home. I'm not feeling to awesome so I may be leaving work early. Bah.
I'm off to see my baby on that cool little sound machine! I've been longing to see his little heart going bumpety bump bump bump since I saw it last Friday. I almost want to be back in surgery in a few weeks so I can regularly check up on him. :) I said almost. Though I do miss the few friends I had like Missy and Melissa. Had lunch with Melissa yesterday and that helps. She is scheduled for her c-section on the 18th but I don't think she will make it that long. She has dropped. He's moved his feet in a completely different angle and her back hurts and she walks like there is a head in between her legs. And she is having tummy troubles. I can't wait till its me.

I have to go shower so I can see my baby. My baby. Sounds so WEIRD! I know I'm a worry wart too. :( I'm kinda scared that the heartbeat won't be there just 6 days later. I know I know that it most likely will, but damn fear plays with you. More later. :)

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

First off I feel like I'm going to puke. No joke. I ate a baked potato and a cookie and i'm not thinking it was the best idea I've had today. I did however find out that tomorrow I am having ANOTHER ultrasound! Whoopee! :) That excites me I love seeing that heartbeat and I can't wait. It is hotter then hell on a hot summers day here. 90 degrees with at least 50% humidity and a dew point of 70. It's nasty. Gee I love Indiana. :) Storms should fly in tonight bringing a bit of a cold front.

I'm wearing maternity pants. They don't look maternity but they have a bit of extra fabric in the front for growth. I just couldn't stand my pants and my mom said that I looked very uncomfortable so she took me to Target and bought my a pair of khaki capris and jeans (both maternity). The jeans have elasic in the back so they don't look maternity either. I feel pretty dumb wearing them but hell, I'm so comfortable now! **sigh** More exciting library stuff to do. Later.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Am I fat or pregnant? You tell me.
You're a Ruby. You are very outgoing and wild. You
are confident, yet sometimes you go overboard.
You are vibrant and full of life...just like
the color red.

What Jewel Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

That's my birthstone! How appropriate. :)
Speaking of losing my mind, I definitely have placenta brain. This morning, I left without my work badge leaving me unable to clock in and to eat lunch, beautiful huh? Last night I took a pizza out of the freezer and unwrapped it to make for Erich's dinner and left it sitting on the counter. Erich came in 20 minutes later to ask me where his dinner was, oops. And (this is the kicker) I ran the washer (yet again) with all the soap and NO LAUNDRY. Man, someone please keep tabs on me!
I'm definitely backlogged on these.

Week 18

  1. Suspected:: killer
  2. Indulgent :: chocolate
  3. Advertising:: thief
  4. Represent:: the public
  5. Ethical :: dilemma
  6. Witness:: eye
  7. Triumph:: in Zion?
  8. Talons:: fangs
  9. Finals:: poor Erich
  10. Squeak:: Squauk

Week 19

  1. Arbitrary:: ??
  2. Sweatshop :: Martha Stuart
  3. Cotton ball:: rabbit
  4. Intimate:: freak
  5. Forgotten:: words
  6. Photography:: pictures
  7. Secretary:: boredom
  8. Stadium:: football
  9. Purpose:: greater
  10. Shoe box:: cards

Week 20

  1. Tumbler:: drink
  2. Recital :: piano
  3. Reform:: society
  4. Nipple:: cracked
  5. Jackal:: hyde
  6. Mailtruck:: newman
  7. Merchendise:: store
  8. Comma:: mark
  9. Erotica:: chocolate??
  10. Ferment:: oil

I have definitely lost my mind, huh?

Yay, she is temporarily out of projects for me so i'm free to surf and blog! whoopee!

I had a dream last night that I've been thinking about all day. I thought I'd share it with you.

It was after the baby was born, there was a fire down the street. Erich and I picked baby up and ran down to see the blaze and make sure people were out, cops called, etc etc etc. It had to be in the middle of the night because I can remember the flames lit up against the midnight blue sky. Baby started to get hungry so Erich told me to nurse her. I remember it had to be really really new to me because I was still a bit nervous about it. I remember looking up after getting the baby to latch on and Erich's friends were there. I said, "shame on you staring. " That's all I really remember.

Oh and the baby was a baby girl. What do you make of that? :)
If I ever come running, screaming into my blog, shouting " I WANT TO BE A LIBRARIAN!!!" Shoot me. Don't hesitate, don't try and talk me out of it, just SHOOT ME! Today I've worked on making sure half of the *** library is in "perfect" order according to the catalog cards. The problem is that a lot of the catalog cards are out of order. And me, being way to good at this, says something and I end up having to fix it. When will I learn to keep my fat mouth shut!? And do you know what torture it is to be ten feet from a computer all day and have things to do so you can't access your email or blogs for fear of losing what could possibly be the MOST limited duty position in the hospital. At least this is better than my "regular" position. 45 minutes to go.

Monday, June 23, 2003

I'm officially on limited duty now. Now lifting, pushing, or pulling above 20 pounds. I'm working in the hospital library which is extremely boring except when I find cool books about pregnancy with neato doctor pictures in them. :) Today I filed catalog cards (which I found errors in and the librarian was impressed, damnit, I may be doing a hell of a lot more of that! eeK!) and I also made sure all the books were in the order of the catalog cards. Now wasn't that exciting?
These arrived! Woot! Now off to fill them out.

Sunday, June 22, 2003

Happy Birthday Erich! :) I bless the day you came into my life and hope there won't ever be a day I don't wake up beside you. You are my everything. I praise God and thank you for giving me this little miracle, a little tiny baby, growing inside me. He (or she!) is part of you and part of me. You are forever a part of me and I couldn't think of anyone better to share this miracle with. I love you.