This was fun! :)


How evil are you?

I would like to have a moment of silence for dear Jennifer's cat, Chincey, who passed away this morning. :( Pets are gifts to us and become not just our companions but a member of the family. They weep with us when loved ones pass and rejoice with us during the happier times in life. My dogs have given me everything in the world. My oldest, given to me by my late father, saw me through his death and has been there forever. Ella, my puppy, continues to bring joy to me everytime I walk into the room. She thinks of me as mom and is teaching my husband to be a great father. And as much as she, or any other pet, annoys me, chews up my cell phone, or poops on the floor because she just can't hold it anymore, we wouldn't give them up for anything in the world. I know Jennifer and Anth must be feeling something awful. So let's send good thoughts there way with this moment of silence, remember the pets we have lost before, and dear Chincey. **silence**

Oh my gosh! I'm so happy! ***Note to reader: If you in anyway don't want to get up close and personal with me then I suggest skipping this entry. Remember that I don't have to post things that make others happy, this a documentation of my own life, my own journal by which you are choosing to celebrate the happenings in my life. :) Thank you for doing so! But as before mentioned, if you don't want to know the very nitty gritty don't read this entry! Tune in tomorrow! :) ***

AF arrived today. I haven't been visited by AF regularly since I stopped birth control in June. She last made a visit in November with the little aid of provera *drugs*. But today she came by herself *obviously prompted by the lower insulin levels due to the glucophage* and I welcomed her home with loving arms. To be truthful, as awful as she can sometimes be, I missed her terribly. All girls know this, even if they don't want babies. When you are growing up, you wait for the day that AF makes an appearance in your life. SHE is your defining moment of when you became a woman. Health class revolved around this one proud shining moment for many years! And when she finally came you felt like you could put your "training bra" on and walk with pride. :) You were now a true woman! AF, I've missed you so much. And as much as you are welcome, I would like a baby first, then for you to come and visit again on a regular basis. If you will all excuse me, I'm going to find my training bra to walk with pride...

I spent last night in the Emergency Room. Yesterday I went to work, didn't feel well, but went anyway. By 7:30 my stomach was cramping horribly. I took some medicine and walked around and such. By 12:30 I couldn't bare it anymore. By this time I had vomited and was literally at my wits end. I went to the ER, they gave me a pregnancy test, negative :(, and drew blood. My white blood cell count is 17,000 *very high* and my tummy is tender to touch everywhere. The high white blood cell count means that there is an infection somewhere. After two sticks for an IV, two morphine pushes, some phenegran, xrays, and a ct scan, they don't think it is appendicitis. Not to sure though. :(

Today I had to take the day off of work considering that I was very sick last night and had been in the ER until 5am. I went to my family doctor and she drew more blood. If my tummy doesn't get any better , it is still really tender to touch, then I should go see her again. She is checking to make sure my white blood cells are going down if not she'll do more tests. :( I don't want to have an appendectomy. Working in surgery has just made me even more scared of surgery because the unknown is all known. I have complete faith that they would take care of me and such but it's just scary. I'm afraid that if the pain doesn't go away or if it gets as severe again as it was last night that they will take my appendix just in case. I really don't know what else it could be. The plus side, they gave me some nice drugs to chase the bad pain away. The bad side, my tummy still really aches and I'm really sore and I have to go back to work tomorrow. I'm gonna go play some Sims, hopefully it will make me feel better. ;)

So yesterday morning before work I went down to the laundry room to work on (you guessed it!) laundry! So I put the clothes in the dryer and started up the washer and measuring soaps and such and went upstairs and went to work. When I got home I went downstairs, folded the clothes in the dryer, and opened up the washer and... there weren't any clothes in there. At this point I'm confused, I know that dryers eat socks, but the washer eating an entire load of laundry? That's ridiculous. Well folks, it turns out that I just forgot to put clothes in the washer. Yup, I ran an entire cycle with soap but no clothes! It's official, I've lost my mind...

Sometimes I just feel dumb. Downright stupid. The ladies I sit and eat lunch with at work were talking about the stock market and real estate and mortgages. I'm just now learning about mortgages and for the most part I still leave it up to my husband. Yes, I have the checkbook and I pay the bills and such but we really figure out where the money is going together. I rely on him to know the stuff about mortgages, the stock market, and what's going on in the world. And I hate it sometimes that I am more comfortable just keeping the house going, making sure everything is clean and that everybody has a full belly. Is that wrong? Should I be more "liberated" and "self-empowering" and learn this stuff? With the war stuff, I am such a worrier that "ignorance is really bliss" for me. Now I can debate some stuff. And I can carry on full conversations with you on the pros and cons of abortion, religion, immigration and lots of other colorful things. And I can get really charged up talking about this stuff. Is that enough though? As I said a couple of days ago, I hate feeling stupid and made to look stupid. And lately it has been happening a lot. And to be very honest, it's starting to piss me off!

So since my last post I have conquered the next goal in Sims! Finished up cleaning the living room (which was the zone for this week), and started laundry. Currently working on that while playing openended Sims (no levels, no goals, just playing) on the freeall cheat mode with my husband. :) This cheat lets you buy anything and everything for free! :) I love my strategy book!

So today I've mainly cleaned and played Sims. We went to Kokomo and did a bit of shopping. We bought three playstation2 games from Target (buy two at $19.99 get one free!) and a Sims for Playstation2 strategy guide. The strategy guide has made all of the difference and allowed me to conquer the level I had been stuck at. :)

Thought I would share this with you. Today we were walking through Sam's Club and I'm telling my husband about my week. I was telling him how this chick at work eats Grape jolly ranchers all of the time and it makes me absolutely just want to puke. And the other day he put BBQ sauce on his pepperoni pizza and that thought plus the smell made me puke. So we are walking through Sams and there are all of these deserts and such and I just want to eat them! Mind you, I'm not much of a sweet/desert kind of person, especially since they put me on MetforminXR (glucophage). At this time I realize that I have to go to the batheroom (for like the tenth time in three hours). He asks me "are you pregnant?"

This catches my surprise for a few reasons. A) I haven't even thought about it. Most of the time I'm telling myself that I should just give up because it won't happen. B) I realize that I still haven't gotten my period and on Monday it will be four weeks since starting the glucophage. I get my blood redrawn to check insulin levels on Friday. C) In the past it has always been me who suggested that I was pregnant. He never suggests it. D) I've been having really bizarre vivid dreams lately. And I'm having a recurring dream about a baby girl. In the dream, she is so real that I can smell her and my heart and breast ache when she cries. It is absolutely the weirdest thing.

So maybe quite possibly God has shown his loving face upon us and is sending me a baby. I sure hope so. :)