Saturday, September 06, 2003


I said I would post yesterday and I didn't. Sorry! I ended up being pretty busy, though I have no clue what I did. I'm to tired to post now. Been out at the festival. Baby seemed to like the marching bands of the parade again. When they went by baby would start kicking and flipping, it was kinda cool. I'm anxious for Monday, and I just want to see my babys face. I'd like to see what's in between the legs too, heh, but I can live with not knowing. :) Isn't anyone else a teeny bit excited to know what's in there? My MIL is. My mom is like me, just wants a healthy baby, and E is the same way. My aunt and Nana gave me props today for saying I was very adament on breastfeeding and decided to clothe diaper. That made me happy. Though my other aunt said, "cloth diaper? well, i'll say $5 you give that up within a month." Which with the mood I've been in lately, I say SCREW YOU! I actually didn't say that. I said something like, "Well Erich, remember that we need to collect our $5 in March." She generally pisses me off. Like yesterday when we got to Nanas and I was pooped from walking all over town with E and I said, "Dang I'm exhausted, too much exercise for me today!" And she came back with a snide remark, "Well, when I was pregnant I worked out at the gym until I was 7 1/2 months." I wanted to say " I DON"T FREAKING CARE!" I didn't, I was a good girl. I said, " well, I didn't work out before, so I guess I shouldn't start now." She said you don't want to gain to much weight. To date folks I've lost 22lbs and gained back 3lbs. I think I'm okay. Back off! My nerves are wearing thin lately and she wasn't helping. She ticked E off pretty bad too. Erich made the comment earlier that 20 years ago EVERYONE cloth diapered. It was unheard of to use disposable. Why must people comment on my choices? I don't care if you don't agree with it, and I understand, five years ago I would have thought it was pretty out there. But we must remember that I worked in nursing homes, changed old peoples diapers (and yes the Veterans home uses clothe) and had to take them and spray them out which was truly the most disgusting thing ever. I can handle baby poop and I can handle spending less money, and YOU aren't going to be doing MY laundry. Feh. I need to go to bed I'm just working myself up again. But I will say...

That I've made choices that I don't voice to a lot of people. Like extended breastfeeding, using a co-sleeper, and clothe diaper. I don't vocalize to others about their choices. I realize that the mainstream was made to believe that formula is best and disposables are common. I may say, well breast is best, but I'm to passive to go stomping in and saying this is wrong. NOT that I think people who say that sort of stuff are bad, kudos to be able to voice your opinion. I'm just to passive too. I keep to myself. I think as long as I do what I think is best for my child, then I can say I gave it my all, right? So why do others try to impend and make me feel bad for saying that I'm going to clothe diaper or assuming that I won't be able to do it? I just don't understand why people insist (I'm talking about "real life" people) on thinking my ways are wrong, and that only they can teach me the "right" way. I've got to stop. This is making me cry. I just hear the phrase in my head, "why can't we all just get along?" But I understand that it takes passive people like me and aggressive people to make the world work correctly. But lecturing and yelling and frowning tend to make us passive people feel like complete cow crap. That's all. I hope you are all still reading and still my friend. Though I can only think of a couple of people that I read aggressively that would make me hurt if they turned away from me. I'm sure others have left my boring life long ago.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Is it Monday yet?

Well, it's almost Friday. The weekend should go somewhat fast with the festival in town. Man it was crowded tonight! And on Monday... OUR BIG ULTRASOUND! Let's hope baby is cooperative. **fingers crossed** I just want to make sure baby is the right size, four chambers to the heart, spine closed, intestines in they tummy, no water on the brain. The list is endless. Working in healthcare kills my optimism sometimes. :( I'm sure all is OK but I still worry and I should get used to it, cause I'm going to be worrying for the rest of my life, aren't I? I'm waiting for E to get home but I'm getting very sleepy. More in the morning, and the worker rant is coming, still digesting it though. Sleep tight.


Baby gets really crazy when I eat. About half way through my meal, s/he starts jumping and flipping and acting crazy . S/he must run out of room or like the food coming down or something.


My last post was stopped prematurely, though now I've forgotten what else I was going to write. I have a big giant rant about the girl that works here in the library with me (inspired by Allison) but I'm to tired to write it right now. So, ya know, I'll get back to reading blogs and doing nothing. :)

Can you read it now?

It appears that I have fixed it. Though the "posted by" section is entirely to big of a font for my likes and I tried changing that but was unsuccessful but beggars can't be choosers right?

Lots to blog about really. Erich and I FINALLY figured out a middle name for a girl. Woot! :) SO glad to have that figured out. I did a TON around the house like dishes, 7 loads of laundry, made 2 pillows, picked up, changed the sheets, took all the laundry downstairs, organized my business office, did some business work. I feel productive. :)

Changing the subject, but...Why is it that people do not know what to do at 4 way stops? That aggravates me to no end. And I hate idling at a 4 way stop where the five stupid people can not figure out what to do while I sit in my car on EMPTY wondering if we are going to make it to a gas station. Argh. That drives me insane!

The local festival is rolling into town. It starts tonight. They have been making craziness by shutting off the side roads directly off the main highway (the only highway mind you) in town. My little town of 5,000 puts on this festival and everyone always looks forward to it (including me) though you really just go eat, look at booths, and maybe ride a carnival ride. Sucky part is I'm just about 19 weeks pregnant so no rides for me. And I saw this morning that they brought the tilt-a-whirl, my favorite carnival ride of all time. Really I only like that and the scrambler. I don't care for rides that go off of the ground. I LOVE to fly though.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003


Melanie suggested that something was wrong with the blog ring codes. I took them completely out and that didn't work. Dangit. I emailed blogger but they get to everyone but paying customers are a priority or some such like that. So uh... any more suggestions?


What the heck did I do to my template to make all of the font funkdified? Someone please help!


I truly truly hate when lunch makes me feel worse than before I ate it. Feh.


Is it just me? Or is the font size screwed up?


I've noticed (not only my blog) that the comments from enetation don't seem to work all of the time. Lately when you pull up a comments box, the comments aren't in the box. That annoys me. Since all of my work here is done, I think I may look for another comments doo-bop. That should keep me occupied for about half an hour.

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Kiss:: me Kate
  2. Nothing:: much
  3. Reach:: for the stars
  4. Late:: night with David Letterman
  5. Stump:: y
  6. Dreams:: suck
  7. LOL:: **rolls eyes**
  8. Ornament:: for your tree
  9. Neck:: wear
  10. Guitar:: player

Tuesday, September 02, 2003


I really don't feel like blogging but I will. Well, the saturn died on Friday. :( Luckily my local Saturn dealer was able to do CPR for the bargain price of $450. But hey I figure that's about $36 dollars a month to drive plus gas which is a small price in the Saturn. So the majority of my day/evening was spent there. Saturday we hung out around the house and just did things that needed to be done. For the love of God I can't remember what we did, though I do know that Ella got a bath. We babysat in the evening and ate dinner at Applebee's which is the last time we shall dine there. The food generally sucks but I had a craving for an Applebees steak. Erich couldn't really find anything he wanted to eat on the menu, and that is saying a lot since this boy will eat just about anything and everything. So no more Applebee's though I'm sure it won't be missed.

Sunday we had lunch with my grandparents at the Jim Dandy, where it's sure to be a dandy time. I couldn't find a link. It's kinda local to Indiana I believe. After we finished there we went home and E worked in his wood shop and Ella and I took a long nap. We loved it. :) The rain made it perfect too. We ended up babysitting on Sunday evening too.

Monday we went to my moms house and putzed around there. Then came home and did nothing (do you see a pattern here?) I did grab the doggie clippers and chopped all of the hair off Gracy. I'll have to post a picture tonight.

Tonight I'm going to my cousin (who's preggo with triplets) house to fix her dinner and entertain her vaudeville style. She doesn't know I'm coming yet, but I'm guessing that since she is on complete bed rest (and her hubby works second shift) that she will be there. She better be, or I'll kick her butt.

Okay going to do more nothing around here. T minus 6 days until the ultrasound! whoopeee!

The Three Little Pigs

Remember me telling you about my cousin who is pregnant with triplets? She had been put on bed rest several weeks ago because her cervix was starting to get soft. I just found out that at her appointment last week they found out that she has gestational diabetes. She is also 1cm dilated and 70% effaced. She is on complete/strict bed rest. They gave her a shot of steroids to speed up the maturing of the babies lungs. They also put her on labor stopping drugs. She is only 29 weeks. The hope is to get her to at least 32. We'll see. So please send some lung maturing, labor stopping vibes her way.


This could be a lot of fun to pass time with here at work.

Sunday, August 31, 2003

Unborn Heart

Have you ever heard the song by Dan Hill entitled "Unborn Heart"? It's kinda slow but the words are really cool. Here are the lyrics.

Unborn Heart

When she told me
She was gonna have a baby
A part of me went weighless
For the first time in my life
There was nothing I could say
It's like a miracle from the stars above
Paralized with fear
I was overcome with love

She said soon you'll hear the beating
Of an unborn heart
This is the answer
You've been searching for so hard
And for the first time in my life I felt
The wave of love so deep
As I listened for the unborn child's heartbeat

I said something stupid like, how are you feeling
She smiled the warmest smile I've ever seen
Ohhh, I guess that said it all
Now were a far cry from the storybook romance
Something in her eyes, made me crumble
I reached out for her hand

She said soon, you'll hear the beating
Of an unborn heart
This is the answer
You've been searching for so hard
And for the first time in my life I felt
The wave of love so deep
As I listened for the unborn child's heartbeat

Now we all know how crazy
This world can be sometimes
And I lie awake at night and wonder
How a child survives
Beyond the danger in the strangers
And the inhumanity
Lord give us strength to someday find a world that lives in peace


Soon, you'll hear the beating
Of an unborn heart
This is the answer
You've been searching for so hard
And for the first time in my life I felt
The wave of love so deep
As I listened for the unborn child's heartbeat

Ohhh, I can almost hear the beating...

Courtesy of Leo's Lyrics

Look at the belly!

I posted a picture of me at 18 weeks. According to the pregnancy journal we are in the fifth lunar month now. :) You can also see my kitchen that I painted. All of the walls are that yellow with cabinet doors a minty green. It's beautiful (IMHO).