Unfair

Alicia announced a positive pregnancy test on Friday. She has been TTC for years now. She has PCOS like myself and after doing the Atkins diet and taking her glucophage I was very excited for her. I *felt* in my bones that this would happen for her after she lost some weight. (Not that I don't love you just the way you are Alicia!) She had a beta drawn on Friday and it came back in the 1200s. LMP dates her at 10 weeks but we all know you can get pregnant without a period. Magdalena is a true testament to that. I hadn't had a period before I started clomid (after a negative beta test though). So we were thinking that she is about 4 weeks and the HcG points that way too.

Yesterday she went in to have an ultrasound cause her progesterone levels are on the low side. (But she has PCOS and low progesterone is a symptom. I had low levels with Magdalena and had to take progesterone suppositories. Yuck.) Anywho, they are telling her that it looks like a blighted ovum. They only see a sack. They are judging her by her LMP though, and I don't believe that to be a fact. And Julie gave us a lesson on what we can see on ultrasound at what times. So from what Julie said, and assuming that Alicias HCG is increasing at a normal level and is correct from conception date, the only thing they would have seen on u/s is a sac.

If it is a blighted ovum, it just downright sucks. But I see the miracle that are body will rid us of "bad eggs". And we ALL have bad eggs. Nature is pretty good at weeding out the bad stuff. It's just that most people don't even know about blighted ovums because they abort so fast it's like a period. So why do some people have to find out and feel the pain of a loss?

Another thing that troubles me is the ease that I conceived Magdalena. Now, don't get me wrong, I worked very hard for her. I endured clomid and glucophage and lost some weight and bled for days when my periods started. I took my temperature faithfully every single stinking morning at the same exact time daily and I was given the opportunity to be the Mommy to the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen in my entire life. But I only took clomid one month. And while my stunt in infertility lasted only about 6 months, I still felt the hardship. Why can't more people be like me? Why can't they conceive earlier too? These people that want it SO badly.

Will you head over to Alicia's blog and send her your thoughts and leave a nice little message for her? I know she'd appreciate to know people are thinking of her in this rough time. And you guys are the most thoughtful people I know. And a lot of you know that life downright sucks bad a lot of the time.