Friday, July 30, 2004

Is It Enough?

No matter how much I do in a day, I never seem to feel like I've done enough. I get the feeling that Erich feels the same way, but never says anything. I like to tell myself that it is all in my head, but it isn't helping.

And I'm tired. I'm more tired now then when I was pregnant. T is really really really wearing me out. Every task is a battle whether it's a meal, putting socks on, or going to the bathroom. She makes me want to stick my head in a pillow and scream. And even if you tell her not to do something, she does it anyways. I'll ask her, " why did you just do x when I told you not to?" Her response, "because I wanted to." AHHHH!

I start my new job next week. Erich is bugging me about going to Missouri to visit family. I don't think we have the cash to do it, nor do I feel like I have the energy to do it. He wants to ride with his brother and SIL. They don't have children. SIL doesn't seem to appreciate having children around. They want to go on Labor Day weekend and I'm not sure how they could deal with a 7 1/2 month old for 6-8 hours each way in a car. There is only so much car time she can handle. And they'd have to stop more than usual because they wouldn't be cool with me bf'ing in the car (and I don't think I'd be comfortable with them too) and she does eat an awful lot. I've postponed starting solids until 7 months and I'll re-evaluate then. So she eats a fair amount during the day. Do they realize what this entails?

Life can be so darn tiring.

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