Sunday, October 16, 2005

The Post Where I Go Insane

It's 6:30pm. 13.5 hours till my blood draw. Magdalena and I are home alone. Erich had a service call. I'm anxiously waiting for him to call me and tell me he's on his way home so I can start dinner. We are going to have enchiladas and spanish rice. We are really tight on money so Erich told me to start being creative. His exact words were "pretend you're the Iron Chef, you love that show!" Alrighty then.

Last night was full of more bizarre dreams. I kept dreaming about not making it to the clinic in time, and the refused to draw my blood. I remember I was at home getting ready to leave and it was 8:30 when I realized I needed to be there between 8am and 9am and it takes almost an hour to get there. Thinking about it kinda stresses me out. I'm sure I'll be on time and I'm sure if I were late they would draw my blood, but it still makes me wanna be the first one in the door. Then maybe my blood will be the first in the machine. ;)

So a fellow clinic person who went to this doctor said they called by noon with pregnancy tests. Seriously if I have to wait until 3pm, I may go batty. I need to remember to stick my cell phone on the charger.

I am in the process of making my Mama Pads. I finally got the design right with something that I love. :) I'm making a dozen of them and then I'll probably tweek the pattern a bit more before I sell them. Who wants beautiful Mama Pads? :) My pads will be done tonight, so I'll post a pic of them.

I'm trying to talk myself into two things. I'm trying to tell myself that I will be okay if I have to bleed. No big deal. Just isn't the right time, right? I'm also trying to talk myself into being an optimist and thinking positive thoughts. I'm so torn that I have no clue what I think! Is it Monday yet?

I haven't taken a pregnancy test. I've been very very tempted today, but I've been a very good girl.

Okay, I don't think that I can ramble anymore. Send good thoughts. Though at this point, everything has already been decided. I just want it to go my way, ya know? I can still smell that tiny baby in my dream and feel his soft skin.

No comments: