I am too Intellectual! :)

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Your personality type is SLOAN

You are moderately social, moderately moody, moderately organized, accommodating, and non-intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Charlotte, Harrisburg, Cleveland, Memphis, Cincinnati, Kansas City, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Richmond, Philadelphia Area, Greenville/Spartanburg, Reno, Indianapolis and these international countries/regions Luxembourg, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Turkey, Taiwan, Iceland, Hong Kong, South Korea, Portugal, Philippines, India, Guam, Canada, England, Indonesia, Japan

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
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Flickr...

I'm posting photos in batches over at Flickr. You have to be a friend to view my photos, so if you want to see them then leave a comment with your user name and I'll add you as a contact. I hope you all understand why we're doing this. With all of the talk about people ripping off photos and using them for gross purposes, Erich and I feel a bit safer behind closed doors so to speak. And it won't be a problem as long as I know you. :) If you are a lurker, please leave a bit about yourself or direct me to your blog.

There will still be the occasional photo here, but the bulk will be at Flickr. I know you can't get enough of my gorgeous daughter. Flickr accounts are free, so go on now, go sign up. **wink**

Harvest

I'll be canning for the next few days. Look for me then. :)

Party Pooper

I'm around, but feeling a bit sorry for myself these days. It seems everywhere I turn around online someone is pregnant or just had a baby. And so consequently I'm feeling all whiney and bitchy and generally not happy about the situation I'm in. I know that nobody enjoys being infertile, but seriously, this bites the big one. Man I hope this next cycle works.

You would not believe how incredibly excited I am about this movie coming out! It is absolutely my favorite musical of all time! Have I ever told you guys that I was a vocal performance/music education major? Well, I was. :)

Yay!

Isn't this exciting?

And it's so close to me! You can bet your bottom dollar that when I have another baby (or two!) I'll be out there donating all my oversupply. I totally qualify to (except for not birthing in the past 12 months.) But seriously, I'll be a frequent visitor. ;)

HSG was very very very painful. Ouch. Oh. Ouch. But I saw my ovaries and my tubes and they are hanging out in there going "hello! We are perfect and waiting for a baby! Send something my way!" Ms. Uterus is very angry with me right now saying things like "how dare you send such vile stuff up here in my beautiful home. Now I must clean with a vengence!"

Dr. declared my uterus perfect and normal. Woot. :) SO the plan... that's what you're all waiting for right? :)

Thursday I go in for a drug conference. They teach me how to inject drugs into my flabby (yet partially numb) tummy. (I had a csection and yes part of my nerves never really got the hint to start working again.) They'll give me all the stuff to order my meds. Once the meds arrive I can stop the birth control and five days later start the injections. No waiting to bleed! yay! In a perfect world, I can stop the pills in anticipation of the day the send the drugs and start the next day. ;) This is all dependent on Erichs erm sample coming back A. OK. But I'm not really worried about that. :)

Like A Boob In A Torn Bra...

I'm outta here. I'm off to have my uterus shot up with radioactive dye. I hope your day is as good and even better than mine!

If You Didn't Know Already

Being 18 months old is really hard work.

Oops

The other day I playfully smacked Erich on the bottom with a spatula while we were all in the kitchen making dinner. Well, Magdalena picked up on it and did it a few times just laughing. We all laughed. When she seemed to be getting to rough, we'd gently remind her to "play gently, be nice!"

Just a few minutes ago, she found a play spatula from her little kitchen and came up and smacked me on the bottom and giggled! All I have to say is, um, oops.

Google Meme

Because I wanna be like Julee.

Google your name in quotes with an "is" -- ex.: "(your name) is" -- pick your favorite ten responses and post them.

1)Suzanne is hitting the road this summer

2) Suzanne is able to paint a palpable picture of the status of corporate coaching, define critical issues and provide tips for successful execution of coaching initiatives.

3)First, Suzanne is definitely not a Korean name; it's a Western or American name.

4)Suzanne is a natural teacher and believes her job is to facilitate others in becoming their own authority so they can heal their own lives and create a life with meaning and purpose.

5)Suzanne is a breeder of German Shepherd dogs, usually producing one litter per year.

6)Suzanne is currently unavailable for consultations (in person or by phone).

7) Suzanne is a highly sought after agent in the Santa Barbara and surrounding areas.

8) I love the fact that Suzanne is truly a poet not just a song smith.

9) 'I Am Suzanne' is an astonishing film, one of the most original movies I've ever seen ... and yet it reminds me of several others.

10) Chez Suzanne is a cozy two bedroom apartment sitting at the foot of a tiny medieval hill village known for the ruins of the Marquis de Sade’s chateau. (this one is the coolest!)

Well, I tackled the embroidery machine. And it simply rocks. I ordered the necessary software that I needed and I'm done for the week until it gets here. I opted to not use sew on tags for my diapers and just use an embroidered label. That way it never tears off or washes out. I HATE when I have a WAHM diaper that I can't identify because you can no longer read the label. With the embroidered label, there shouldn't be any of those problems. :)

Erich has been gone since 8am this morning. He had two service calls for the computer repair business and then was going to drop off a fixed computer and come home. Well at about 2pm he called to tell me that there was a third call. At 4ish he said he was going to get the repaired computer (he had to stop at the shop to get it and such) and then was coming home. Well, he just called and said that he had dropped off the repaired computer but there is now a 4th call to go to. Urgh. It's awful to have him away so long. It is really nice that he is making so much extra money and that we will be able to pay down bills and such but we miss him. And it's so hard to be without an extra parent all week long.

Okay I'm done rambling. Since I've been working on the embroidery machine most of the day I haven't done much around the house. We had to make an emergency trip out of town because I broke a needle on my serger and I didn't have a spare, so that ate up a bunch of time too. All I really want to do though is curl up on the couch and watch TV.

Random Stuff

So. Lots going on here. Magdalena is continuing to use the potty while at home and doing really really well. She even took initiative to just go to the potty chair and sit and use it yesterday instead of coming to tell me first. I don't see her completely potty training at this point, but it's nice to not have to rinse the poopy diapers and have less laundry to do.

Erich has been working a lot. His friend started a computer repair business and Erich has been in on it the entire time. This last couple of weeks has really picked up and we just don't see him anymore. This has been rough for me with the anxiety of my 2ww and the let down of AF showing up. But I can't even tell you how hard this has been for Magdalena. She really really misses her Daddy. As a result she has been pitching fits and has been super super clingy. She never cries when I leave generally. Yesterday I was leaving her with Erich to run to the bank and Erich says she lost it. So, it's been a tough week.

I'm so proud of Erich though. He has taken on a lot and has really helped us out. He just handed me a check to deposit and it's enough to clear off all the debt on one credit card. I'm giddy about paying this off. I know he is happy about it too. And I am actually imagining the next debt we are going to pay off.

The insurance guy is coming over in a bit. I saved us a ton of money by switching to Geico. JUST KIDDING! You have all heard that commercial right? LOL We had Geico once and didn't like it at all (sorry Manda!). Anyway, I called the guy and had him add home insurance to our policy with them. (Previously we only held auto policies with this guy) We saved like $200 by switching the insurance and then saved $100 on the auto policy. I also took off some stuff on our auto insurance that was really really stupid and then I added the stuff for my home biznaz. So I saved us a grand total of $600. Wowee that felt good. That's like a week and a half of work man. So I get to just lounge the rest of the week right? Nope.

I got my embroidery machine Monday. I've been trying to sit down and really get it going but a number of things have been standing in my way. A) Magdalena is super clingy and not really into me sitting in front of my machine. B) The embroidery machine is a bit intimidating. There I said it. It's all computerized and fancy-schmancy. It threads itself! How cool is that! If Erich gets a couple of hours to play with Magdalena I am so going downstairs to conquer that mountain. C) I need to sew diapers.

Definitely going to go get some stuff after the insurance leaves and then I'm going to cut fabric to make some diapers. Are we all getting excited about my store opening? I am! Things are falling into place nicely. I've finished the pattern for my knitted soakers. I have a friend working on a pattern for crocheted soakers. I've found a place to supply yummy soaps and powders and lotions and such. Oh! It's so lovely and exciting!

Okay, I'm going to go eat a cookie. I deserve it. Then after the insurance guy comes I'm going to go pick up my birth control. Do you remember the Seinfeld episode when Jerry and Elaine are in a big fight over things that had happened when they were dating? It was about being in the bedroom and finally Elaine comes over and says "we have to have sex to save our friendship!" and Jerry says "sex... to save the friendship? sex to save the friendship..." That's how I feel right now. "birth control.. to get pregnant." LOL

Plan B

I started bleeding this morning. I knew this was coming last night as I started spotting. I'm feeling a bit better though I'm still pretty sad. I'm starting birth control tomorrow to put me in a holding pattern so I won't develop any follicles. Next week, I'll have an HSG and Erich will have a sperm analysis. Once we get the plan of action layed out, we'll order meds. Once we have all our meds, I'll come off of birth control and then bleed and start the new cycle.

In other really great news, Magdalena has started using the potty a lot! Yesterday she started asking for it and had lots of pees. This morning she asked and peed in it then asked again a few minutes later and pooped in it! She gets off then looks in the potty, grins really big and says "yay!" It's really too cute.

I Didn't Know It Was Possible

I didn't know it was possible to be this tired. I'm dragging! Oh My Word. I know I've been complaining a lot about it, but seriously, something has got to change.

And I'm incredibly annoyed by the majority of the population right now. This is really annoying the crap out of me. Along with just being generally annoyed with most people. I'm hoping that the exhaustion and irritation are signs of Something Very Good. But we won't know for a while.

So since I am so whiney, tired, and irritable, I'm going to lay low for a few days. Look for me next Thursday. If I appear at other times, consider it a gift from me to you.

Is It August Yet?

Oh My Goodness! It's HOT! The high was 101 degrees with heat indexes around the 120 mark. It's HOT. And miserable. Ugh.

I'm stinking exhausted. Seriously, I'm dragging big time. I just can't seem to get enough sleep. I wake up in the morning feeling like I just went to sleep. This sucks!

The current state of my uterus remains unknown. I get twinges now and then but nothing major. My temp is holding itself well above coverline. Only time will tell. And I'm really not grooving on Father Time right now. Can we fast forward to a week from Thursday?

Questions and Answers

Mama Bear asked why we would move on to Plan B if Plan A didn't work the first month. So here is why:

This really isn't the first month of Plan A. Plan A is clomid. Most will remember I did two rounds already, one in February and one in March. These were unassisted. They gave me the clomid and sent me home. Last month (June) we took 100mg of clomid a day for five days. On the 12th day of my cycle I went in and had an u/s and it revealed that no follicles had developed. We waited for my period to move on. On July 6th, I started to bleed. On cycle day 3 I started Clomid at 150mg a day for five days. Monday was cycle day 13 (cd 12 was on Sunday and they don't work that day) and I had my u/s. We found two follicles, one in the left and one in the right, and many other smaller follicles. I was given a Novarel// HCG trigger shot on Tuesday to tell my body to release the follicles. On August 4th I go back for blood work.

If I start to bleed or don't get pregnant, than they will move me to Plan B which is injectable fertility drugs. We would start with Repronex. The theory is that even though I made follicles with Clomid, Repronex would mature more follicles. Instead of two mature and two other little ones, there would be 4 mature. 4 follicles would give me a much better chance at conception since it isn't like all would conceive and/or stick.

My personal prophet Erich feels like "he achieved the goal." I think he is full of crap. We shall see!

Oh, and since Wednesday night I haven't had anymore ovary pain. I felt a bunch Wednesday around midnight followed by a release of pressure (that is what it felt like!) Since then I've had a few twinges here and there, but nothing big. Only time will tell.

Oh, My Aching ...

ovaries. There is definitely something going on in there. Lots of pressure, pain, tenderness and a general feeling of heaviness. I felt like that with Magdalena. Like my follicles were the size of rocks. So in my body right now my body is applying super power hormones (injected yesterday via my patookie as T calls it) to the follicles that have developed. The follicles should burst within the next 6 to 8 hours sending an egg out and into my fallopian tube. Hopefully the tubes fingerlike parts will sweep it safely into the tube where it will be greeted by Erichs boys. (yes, they should already be waiting there. heh) And don't worry, if they aren't there now, there shall be more visiting very soon. ;)

If I'm lucky, both eggs will be released allowing a greater chance for conception. We won't know anything for TWO weeks. Man. That's a stinking long time. And I can't even start testing soon because they will be false positives due to the trigger I took yesterday.

It is pretty cool that two days ago I saw follicles inside my body that could possibly turn into half of my son/daughter (s). It's pretty wild. I can say, "I saw you before you were even concieved!" Now that's crazy!

August 4th I go back to the office to have my blood drawn for a pregnancy test. I have to be there by 8 (I'm sure I'll be pounding the door to get in!) and they run the pregnancy tests daily (thank goodness!). I should know something by 5pm on August 4th. Mark your calendars. This is where it gets a wee bit tricky. If it's negative you'll know as soon as I know because I'll post. If its positive and the results come after Erich leaves for work, then you won't know until the next day. K?

And all of that information is pointless if I start to bleed before August 4th at which point we move onto Plan B. Plan B is painful and time consuming, so let's all hope Plan A works, k?

Trigger Happy

Yesterday was the worst ovary pain day yet this cycle. Ugh. It makes me happy that those eggs are still growing and such, but ouch! Today we triggered. What I thought would be a simple poke in the butt, ended up being a bit more complicated.

For those of you who have never triggered ( you lucky dogs) , you have two vials of stuff and a syringe and medicine. Now Erich is a big fat chicken so I had my cousin do the shot. So I drive over there and we reconstitute the med (one vial is a powder like substance which is the medicine, the other is a sterile water type solution, you mix this stuff up and poof! egg inducing juice!). We read the pkg and start talking and realize that I need a 10,000unit shot but the syringe only holds 3,000units. So I'll pause while you do the math on how many shots with the 3,000 unit syringe it would take to get up to the 10,000. **short pause**

Right, 4 shots! Ouch. Now, I hate shots to begin with and four sounded like no picnic. Not to mention that that needle isn't going to be as nice and pointy, as it was the first time going in, the last time. So we call the pharmacy and mention what's going on. They politely inform me that they only have syringes like I have instock. They are nice people though and tell me they can have one in for me tomorrow! So sweet of you, but I NEED IT TODAY!!! SO I ask them to call the hospital pharmacy and beg them for me then please call me back.

So we stick my egg juice in the fridge and wait a minute or two for the phone to ring. When it does, they tell me that the hospital pharmacy does have them and that I can go out there and get one. He mentions that they said a bag of chocolate might be nice. Heh.

So I head over to pick up a bag of chocolate. I know they were kidding, but they are being nice and giving me a syringe without asking for my husbands hard earned money. And darnit, I'll do anything to get pregnant, yk?

So with Reese PB Cups in hand I go in and get my syringe and hand over the chocolate. They are very surpised and happy and tell me "good luck with your egg juice!" and tell me to come back any time for more egg juice holding syringes. Such sweet folks yk?

So I head back to my car, and drive back to my cousins house where my daughter is circling the house saying "mommy! mommy!" Did I also mention that it is freaking HOT outside and that it is HUMID and I'm on CLOMID and I'm ON FIRE!? Well, now you know. ;)

So we fill up the gigantic egg juice holder with egg juice and she shoves it into my well padded rear. And let me tell you, that was a TON of egg juice. Ouch. And now I sit here typing this. My stomach is turning, I don't feel so good, and my butt hurts. You never think that this is how your baby making experience is going to be, but oh well.

So I'm going to ask you send me some egg releasing vibes, healthy spermy vibes, and sticky egg vibes. (I know! I ask for so much don't I! You all are starting to sound like my husband. heh.)

We Struck Gold!

My ovaries are having a good day. :) Ladies, there are TWO EGGS! ! One in the right and one in the left and "a bunch of other little ones"!!! For those of you who like numbers, the right side egg is 16.5mm and the left is 14.5mm and the endometrium lining is a whopping 15mm. So I have a very thick lining which is good. We trigger tomorrow! Excuse me while I dance around the room and dream of an April baby! (Or babies? **gasp**)

There's More Than Corn In Indiana....

There's HUMIDITY! OH MY GOODNESS! It is currently 6:20am and 77 degrees outside. It wouldn't be bad if the humidity wasn't 93%. Wowza. Just wait, the high should be 90 degrees. Have you ever sat in 90 degree weather with 93% humidity? It isn't pleasant. And with my elevated body temp, I'm already constantly hot indoors!

You may be wondering why I'm up this early. I'm about to head out and take a look in the deepest darkest parts of my body. My ovaries and I have a love-hate relationship. We'll see if this is a good day for them...