This mornings beta was 319. So it looks like this baby is a keeper. :) One nurse thinks there **may** be two babies in there. I say the more the merrier, but Erich being the primary bread winner gets a bit nervous at that prospect. I know we have enough baby girl clothes to clothe at least three girls simultaneously and enough blue/gender neutral to last at least a year. I know that my mom is likely to go crazy again, so I see no problems in that front. And since I'm so anti formula, we don't have to worry about that. So no problems, until you know they start eating food. heh.
Anyway,u/s is scheduled for October 31st. Then another u/s (I believe?) at 8 weeks and I'm free to go to my own OB! By Christmas, I'll be out of the nightmare that is the first 12 weeks. That isn't bad, now is it? Time will fly since Halloween ( u/s)is in less than two weeks, then we have Thanksgiving (another u/s, released to OB), then Christmas (end of first 12 weeks), and January is Magdalena's birthday. See? Time is going to fly! Yay!
The nausea is coming in waves, though still not as bad as with Magdalena. I wish it were worse though, so I felt better. I do feel better after the second beta, and I'm going to sit back and relax. Baby is fine, right? I am exhausted though. We got home from going to see a baby (remember my friend who was due now) and the blood draw, and I was ready to fall down into bed.
Yesterday I opened up the fridge, starving, and thought "oh yeah, I remember this." Nothing looked good. I really wanted some Franks Red Hot Sauce , the vinegar taste was calling me. I thought a hamburger to put the sauce on it, but we had no beef. I have a major hankering for beef, just like with Magdalena. So looking through the fridge, I see some cottage cheese and think, cottage cheese with some franks red hot sound DELICIOUS! And it was my friends. Though now it doesn't sound as good, but believe me, it was. :) Why is that you can be so hungry, but nothing in your fridge sounds good, but everything NOT in your fridge sounds fabulous. Ugh.
I got an offer to go sit with an older man at the assisted living place tonight. He takes himself to the potty and stuff (yay!) he just needs to be watches so he doesn't leave the apartment and get hurt. It's going to be a long night. I'm going out there at about 8pm and I'll be home around 7am-ish. I'll take my knitting to pass the time. My mom is going to come and watch Magalena, give her a bath and play with her until Erich gets home. I'm going to miss snuggling with my family, but I'll make it. I need to, the money is to good to pass up. :(
I want to thank you all for the well wishes, the crossed limbs, the positive vibes, and all of the excitement. It meant so much to me and Erich to see all of the excited people. I'm going to print them all off and save them for the future baby book, so this little person knows how excited everyone was to know s/he was on the way. I sincerely believe this would never have happened without your support and well wishes. I'm truly, truly blessed.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
The Results Are In
I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and turned. Around 4:30am I just lay in bed listening to Erich and Magdalena sleeping. I was so scared I wasn't going to wake up. And I was thinking about the inevitable.
I arrived at the clinic at 7:40am. I was supposed to be there between 8am and 9am. I can never predict the traffic. Sometimes it's heavy, other times it light. I was called back into the office at 8:15. Immediately after drawing my blood, I felt like crying. It was awful. They said they would call in 3 hours.
Erich left for a service call when I got home, and I spent the next 2 hours facing the facts that I wasn't bleeding because of the progesterone. I cried a bit to get myself ready for the awful phone call that was to come. I talked to my grandparents and they wanted me to meet them at the dentists office.
I went over to the dentists office. Magdalena razzled and dazzled everyone. I was talking to the receptionist and my phone rang. I immediately said "I need to answer that!" I walked away from the counter and answered the phone.
The phone call was the call. It was Jaime, the nurse, calling. She sounded very happy and I was a bit peeved that she would sound so happy when she was calling to tell me bad news. She said," we have the results in Suzanne! Congratulations, you're pregnant!" I immediately started crying hysterically. All of the emotions of the month came flooding and I just couldn't hold back the flood gates. I had myself so convinced that it was negative and that I had wasted one entire year of my life trying to make a baby. The beta came back at 158. I'm officially pregnant.
I arrived at the clinic at 7:40am. I was supposed to be there between 8am and 9am. I can never predict the traffic. Sometimes it's heavy, other times it light. I was called back into the office at 8:15. Immediately after drawing my blood, I felt like crying. It was awful. They said they would call in 3 hours.
Erich left for a service call when I got home, and I spent the next 2 hours facing the facts that I wasn't bleeding because of the progesterone. I cried a bit to get myself ready for the awful phone call that was to come. I talked to my grandparents and they wanted me to meet them at the dentists office.
I went over to the dentists office. Magdalena razzled and dazzled everyone. I was talking to the receptionist and my phone rang. I immediately said "I need to answer that!" I walked away from the counter and answered the phone.
The phone call was the call. It was Jaime, the nurse, calling. She sounded very happy and I was a bit peeved that she would sound so happy when she was calling to tell me bad news. She said," we have the results in Suzanne! Congratulations, you're pregnant!" I immediately started crying hysterically. All of the emotions of the month came flooding and I just couldn't hold back the flood gates. I had myself so convinced that it was negative and that I had wasted one entire year of my life trying to make a baby. The beta came back at 158. I'm officially pregnant.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
The Post Where I Go Insane
It's 6:30pm. 13.5 hours till my blood draw. Magdalena and I are home alone. Erich had a service call. I'm anxiously waiting for him to call me and tell me he's on his way home so I can start dinner. We are going to have enchiladas and spanish rice. We are really tight on money so Erich told me to start being creative. His exact words were "pretend you're the Iron Chef, you love that show!" Alrighty then.
Last night was full of more bizarre dreams. I kept dreaming about not making it to the clinic in time, and the refused to draw my blood. I remember I was at home getting ready to leave and it was 8:30 when I realized I needed to be there between 8am and 9am and it takes almost an hour to get there. Thinking about it kinda stresses me out. I'm sure I'll be on time and I'm sure if I were late they would draw my blood, but it still makes me wanna be the first one in the door. Then maybe my blood will be the first in the machine. ;)
So a fellow clinic person who went to this doctor said they called by noon with pregnancy tests. Seriously if I have to wait until 3pm, I may go batty. I need to remember to stick my cell phone on the charger.
I am in the process of making my Mama Pads. I finally got the design right with something that I love. :) I'm making a dozen of them and then I'll probably tweek the pattern a bit more before I sell them. Who wants beautiful Mama Pads? :) My pads will be done tonight, so I'll post a pic of them.
I'm trying to talk myself into two things. I'm trying to tell myself that I will be okay if I have to bleed. No big deal. Just isn't the right time, right? I'm also trying to talk myself into being an optimist and thinking positive thoughts. I'm so torn that I have no clue what I think! Is it Monday yet?
I haven't taken a pregnancy test. I've been very very tempted today, but I've been a very good girl.
Okay, I don't think that I can ramble anymore. Send good thoughts. Though at this point, everything has already been decided. I just want it to go my way, ya know? I can still smell that tiny baby in my dream and feel his soft skin.
Last night was full of more bizarre dreams. I kept dreaming about not making it to the clinic in time, and the refused to draw my blood. I remember I was at home getting ready to leave and it was 8:30 when I realized I needed to be there between 8am and 9am and it takes almost an hour to get there. Thinking about it kinda stresses me out. I'm sure I'll be on time and I'm sure if I were late they would draw my blood, but it still makes me wanna be the first one in the door. Then maybe my blood will be the first in the machine. ;)
So a fellow clinic person who went to this doctor said they called by noon with pregnancy tests. Seriously if I have to wait until 3pm, I may go batty. I need to remember to stick my cell phone on the charger.
I am in the process of making my Mama Pads. I finally got the design right with something that I love. :) I'm making a dozen of them and then I'll probably tweek the pattern a bit more before I sell them. Who wants beautiful Mama Pads? :) My pads will be done tonight, so I'll post a pic of them.
I'm trying to talk myself into two things. I'm trying to tell myself that I will be okay if I have to bleed. No big deal. Just isn't the right time, right? I'm also trying to talk myself into being an optimist and thinking positive thoughts. I'm so torn that I have no clue what I think! Is it Monday yet?
I haven't taken a pregnancy test. I've been very very tempted today, but I've been a very good girl.
Okay, I don't think that I can ramble anymore. Send good thoughts. Though at this point, everything has already been decided. I just want it to go my way, ya know? I can still smell that tiny baby in my dream and feel his soft skin.
Video
Here's a short video of Magdalena this morning. Please ignore the mess, she drags all of her toys to the living room and then at the end of the day I pick it all up. And my knitting is on the table to because I am so close to finishing her sweater.
In the video, Magdalena is eating cottage cheese (Erich let her eat it in the LR not me!) and she is putting spoonfulls on the floor for Gracy (the dog) to eat. You can kinda see Gracy moving around eating the food, but she blends into the darkness.
Upload Video at JussPress.com
In the video, Magdalena is eating cottage cheese (Erich let her eat it in the LR not me!) and she is putting spoonfulls on the floor for Gracy (the dog) to eat. You can kinda see Gracy moving around eating the food, but she blends into the darkness.
Upload Video at JussPress.com
Saturday, October 15, 2005
The Dream
When I was TTC the first time around, I had a dream about a beautiful brown eyed toddler girl that ran around the house filling it with laughter. That little girl is Magdalena, she matches the picture in my head perfectly. That dream will forever be burned into my brain and it seemed like a gift from some greater power when she came true.
Last night, I had this dream that I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the kitchen. I remember seeing the kitchen floor, and this teeny tiny baby sliding out of my body. I asked Erich to get something to cut the cord, and he handed me the kitchen scissors. The baby was so beautiful and I held him to my chest and smelled his sweet head. After we were detached, I took him upstairs where I washed his hair and cleaned him up. I put him in a kissaluv diaper and the tiny newborn wool wrap that I have and looked at him. He looked exactly like Magdalena did as a baby and I remember my heart feeling full as if it were going to burst.
I've been thinking about the dream all day. Feeling that tiny baby against my skin. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about it to. I can only hope that it was another gift from above.
Last night, I had this dream that I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the kitchen. I remember seeing the kitchen floor, and this teeny tiny baby sliding out of my body. I asked Erich to get something to cut the cord, and he handed me the kitchen scissors. The baby was so beautiful and I held him to my chest and smelled his sweet head. After we were detached, I took him upstairs where I washed his hair and cleaned him up. I put him in a kissaluv diaper and the tiny newborn wool wrap that I have and looked at him. He looked exactly like Magdalena did as a baby and I remember my heart feeling full as if it were going to burst.
I've been thinking about the dream all day. Feeling that tiny baby against my skin. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about it to. I can only hope that it was another gift from above.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Keeping Busy
I'm trying to keep busy. I'm very proud of myself as I haven't "cheated" and taken a HPT yet. And I'm not going to. If they tell me I'm pregnant on Monday, then I will probably take a test so I can see those two lines. I kept the test with Magdalena, wrapped it in plastic and put in a baggy where it now lives in her baby box. I know that is kinda gross, but I feel like I worked so hard to get those two lines, and I wanted to keep that prize. :) It's only fair that I do that the next time.
I need to sew my Mama Pads. I've neglected to do that every month and I feel like I really need to do that. Maybe if I actually get them done, I won't need them. A girl can hope, right? I also have a special embroidery project that needs to be done by Monday just in case things go our way. :)
I reorganized our kitchen the other day to get our toaster oven out and accessible. When Erichs grandparents sold their house in MO (then moved into Senior Living in TX near a son) I noticed they had a nice toaster oven, sparkling clean, and in the original box. I mentioned to Aunt Jan and my MIL that I would really like a toaster oven, but thought nothing beyond that. I was very surprised a week or two later when my in-laws brought it over. :) But I've never really found a good place to put it where it was accessible until yesterday. I'm excited about having it to use. I was able to clear out the toaster since the toaster oven will take that job over. I made Erich some sandwiches and froze them. Now all he has to do is pop it in the oven. ;)
On today's agenda is making an apple crisp (I'm having a major craving) and making banana muffins. The muffins will be wrapped in foil and frozen. They'll make an excellent snack or quick breakfast for Magdalena and Erich. This morning I made English Muffin Bread and later I'll be using it to assemble some egg and cheese sandwiches, which will be frozen. Erich will be able to pop those in the toaster oven in the mornings when he has early jobs, and be able to eat those instead of stopping at McD's.
Right now Magdalena is napping, T is at school, and I have a baked potato in the toaster oven. Soon I'll be eating a meal without anyone asking for a bite of it. That is true luxury my friends. ;)
I need to sew my Mama Pads. I've neglected to do that every month and I feel like I really need to do that. Maybe if I actually get them done, I won't need them. A girl can hope, right? I also have a special embroidery project that needs to be done by Monday just in case things go our way. :)
I reorganized our kitchen the other day to get our toaster oven out and accessible. When Erichs grandparents sold their house in MO (then moved into Senior Living in TX near a son) I noticed they had a nice toaster oven, sparkling clean, and in the original box. I mentioned to Aunt Jan and my MIL that I would really like a toaster oven, but thought nothing beyond that. I was very surprised a week or two later when my in-laws brought it over. :) But I've never really found a good place to put it where it was accessible until yesterday. I'm excited about having it to use. I was able to clear out the toaster since the toaster oven will take that job over. I made Erich some sandwiches and froze them. Now all he has to do is pop it in the oven. ;)
On today's agenda is making an apple crisp (I'm having a major craving) and making banana muffins. The muffins will be wrapped in foil and frozen. They'll make an excellent snack or quick breakfast for Magdalena and Erich. This morning I made English Muffin Bread and later I'll be using it to assemble some egg and cheese sandwiches, which will be frozen. Erich will be able to pop those in the toaster oven in the mornings when he has early jobs, and be able to eat those instead of stopping at McD's.
Right now Magdalena is napping, T is at school, and I have a baked potato in the toaster oven. Soon I'll be eating a meal without anyone asking for a bite of it. That is true luxury my friends. ;)
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Yada Yada Yada
I've started using Live Journal for some more intimate posts. If you have a LJ username and would like to be able to read that journal, just leave your username in the comments. I do have veto rights, but there shouldn't be any problems with 99% of your reading. :)
Erich and I took Magdalena up to Michigan City, IN on Monday. Since it was a bank holiday, Erich had the day off and we were able to enjoy a little mini road trip. I went and picked up some things for Magdalena and Lili at the Hanna Anderson outlet store. Magdalena's snowsuit was ordered from there also and should be here soon along with a playdress/daydress, leggings, and some pj's. I'm uploading pictures on my flickr account. You need to be a friend to see the ones of Magdalena though. And for your viewing pleasure I'll post a video for you here. :)
Magdalena had fun running in the sand barefoot. It was pretty windy out there but it was still nice. Erich said we couldn't leave without letting Magdalena dip her toes in Lake Michigan. (brrr! That lake is cold!) She didn't really enjoy the dipping, but she did enjoy chasing Daddy!
Upload Video at JussPress.com
ETA: Everyone who left their LJ name has been added. :) You should be able to see me when you look at the manage friends screen. Manda, I've emailed you. Dianna, could you make sure I added the right name.
Erich and I took Magdalena up to Michigan City, IN on Monday. Since it was a bank holiday, Erich had the day off and we were able to enjoy a little mini road trip. I went and picked up some things for Magdalena and Lili at the Hanna Anderson outlet store. Magdalena's snowsuit was ordered from there also and should be here soon along with a playdress/daydress, leggings, and some pj's. I'm uploading pictures on my flickr account. You need to be a friend to see the ones of Magdalena though. And for your viewing pleasure I'll post a video for you here. :)
Magdalena had fun running in the sand barefoot. It was pretty windy out there but it was still nice. Erich said we couldn't leave without letting Magdalena dip her toes in Lake Michigan. (brrr! That lake is cold!) She didn't really enjoy the dipping, but she did enjoy chasing Daddy!
Upload Video at JussPress.com
ETA: Everyone who left their LJ name has been added. :) You should be able to see me when you look at the manage friends screen. Manda, I've emailed you. Dianna, could you make sure I added the right name.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
I've Got Meme
You are RACHEL RAY, host of "$40 a Day"
and "30-Minute Meals". Youre zany,
just a little bit dorky, but you know your
stuff. You show quick and easy meals that dont
break your budget. You also love to travel,
and hunt for the most fun and the best deals.
You obviously love having fun and love showing
others how to have fun. Youre adventurous and
happy-go-lucky, yet way frugal and thrifty.
Good job!
Which Food Network Personality are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Imposter
From Ovagirl:
"So this was me, mincing, up to Mary'?s place, to have a little chat and make a couple of requests. It couldn'?t hurt, I figured. I asked for me But I asked for all of you too. I asked for the women who know the fear, the loss, the hurt, the grief, the gut tearing anger, the tears. The women who write about their pain, and the women who read about it and who recognize their own story about infertility on the screen before them. We all tell the same story, again and again, in a multitude of variations. Like snowflakes. Like popcorn kernels. Like babies. Like us. I know logically there can'?t be happy endings for every single infertility story being told on the web. But I asked anyway. For all of us."
I often feel like an imposter in these rings of people who are dealing with same crap I'm dealing with. I may have had a drug cycle like IVF'ers, but I didn't do IVF. No egg retrieval, no transfers, just needles and loving. To be honest, sometimes the loving feels a bit routine and mandatory. After all someone told us to have "intercourse." But it isn't in a cold sterile room (though a change of scenery might have livened things up LOL). Anyway, what I'm saying is that they just pump me full of drugs and send me home to my husband.
So yeah, that was pretty much my weekend. Friday they called to tell me they wanted me to take another dose of Antagon, FOUR vials of Repronex, and then on Saturday AM take 175 of Follistim and trigger Saturday evening. So essentially they gave me a giant booster of fertility drugs and then released! Actually they didn't come out until yesterday morning, and it woke me from a sound sleep. Oh the agony! I lay in bed imagining all those follicles rupturing and the little eggies traveling into my tubes being met up by the most handsome spermies they had ever seen! They danced, talked, and hopefully some of those spermies jumped right in if you know what I mean. And don't you worry, there were plenty of spermies and as long as they weren't all shy, we'll be successful. I told Erich that I'd hate for his boys to go all middle school dance on me. You know, a cafeteria with punch and balloons, his boys on one side of the room, my eggs on the other. There better have been dancing! Sheesh. :)
So now we wait. Each night I get out my crinone suppository and think, please God Please! I feel nothing. A bit of soreness but nothing terrible. I'm waiting. 8-10 days before they implant. 13 days until we find out. Please God please. If those kiddies danced, we'd have babies due just 3 days after Erich's birthday. 9 days before my birthday! Happy birthday us! Please God Please! Let me have my birthday early. I'll even make it up to you and not complain at the end. You can even make me way overdue so I'll be pregnant on my birthday. Please. I'm begging!
If the test comes back positive, I have a plan to tell Erich. I want to make it special. I'm so excited. I sit on my hands right now, willing myself to not start on that project. I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to be to hopeful. I don't want to not have hope though, that would be no good. I'm neutral. I'm ready. I'm praying. Wishing, hoping, thinking, praying. I'm not going to take tests this time. Maybe I'm supposed to learn patience. Maybe this is my lesson to learn. It didn't happen for a reason last month. This is my month. That is what I keep chanting. **whispers** This.Is.My.Month. Please God Please.
"So this was me, mincing, up to Mary'?s place, to have a little chat and make a couple of requests. It couldn'?t hurt, I figured. I asked for me But I asked for all of you too. I asked for the women who know the fear, the loss, the hurt, the grief, the gut tearing anger, the tears. The women who write about their pain, and the women who read about it and who recognize their own story about infertility on the screen before them. We all tell the same story, again and again, in a multitude of variations. Like snowflakes. Like popcorn kernels. Like babies. Like us. I know logically there can'?t be happy endings for every single infertility story being told on the web. But I asked anyway. For all of us."
I often feel like an imposter in these rings of people who are dealing with same crap I'm dealing with. I may have had a drug cycle like IVF'ers, but I didn't do IVF. No egg retrieval, no transfers, just needles and loving. To be honest, sometimes the loving feels a bit routine and mandatory. After all someone told us to have "intercourse." But it isn't in a cold sterile room (though a change of scenery might have livened things up LOL). Anyway, what I'm saying is that they just pump me full of drugs and send me home to my husband.
So yeah, that was pretty much my weekend. Friday they called to tell me they wanted me to take another dose of Antagon, FOUR vials of Repronex, and then on Saturday AM take 175 of Follistim and trigger Saturday evening. So essentially they gave me a giant booster of fertility drugs and then released! Actually they didn't come out until yesterday morning, and it woke me from a sound sleep. Oh the agony! I lay in bed imagining all those follicles rupturing and the little eggies traveling into my tubes being met up by the most handsome spermies they had ever seen! They danced, talked, and hopefully some of those spermies jumped right in if you know what I mean. And don't you worry, there were plenty of spermies and as long as they weren't all shy, we'll be successful. I told Erich that I'd hate for his boys to go all middle school dance on me. You know, a cafeteria with punch and balloons, his boys on one side of the room, my eggs on the other. There better have been dancing! Sheesh. :)
So now we wait. Each night I get out my crinone suppository and think, please God Please! I feel nothing. A bit of soreness but nothing terrible. I'm waiting. 8-10 days before they implant. 13 days until we find out. Please God please. If those kiddies danced, we'd have babies due just 3 days after Erich's birthday. 9 days before my birthday! Happy birthday us! Please God Please! Let me have my birthday early. I'll even make it up to you and not complain at the end. You can even make me way overdue so I'll be pregnant on my birthday. Please. I'm begging!
If the test comes back positive, I have a plan to tell Erich. I want to make it special. I'm so excited. I sit on my hands right now, willing myself to not start on that project. I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to be to hopeful. I don't want to not have hope though, that would be no good. I'm neutral. I'm ready. I'm praying. Wishing, hoping, thinking, praying. I'm not going to take tests this time. Maybe I'm supposed to learn patience. Maybe this is my lesson to learn. It didn't happen for a reason last month. This is my month. That is what I keep chanting. **whispers** This.Is.My.Month. Please God Please.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Ouch
Well this morning was the last u/s of this cycle! yay! It was a very very good u/s at that. There are three follicles in the right and seven in the left for a total of NINE follicles! Wow. We trigger tomorrow and by Monday there should be SEVEN follicles mature enough for fertilization. So we achieved Dr. H's request of 5 or 6 follicles.
My stomach looks awful. It's littered with little bruises but the big thing is that I'm having some sort of skin reaction to the injections of Repronex. From one side of my tummy to the other is one giant hive that is raised, red, hurts, and itches. I was told that this was somewhat common with Repronex but the website says 5 in 100. I've been slathering on hydrocortisone cream like it's going out of style. The funny thing is that the hive doesn't appear until the next morning (I take the Repronex at night). So I have two different injection sites that have meshed into one and another one that should pop up in the morning. I just got back from the drugstore with some oral Benadryl. I'm going to start popping those. My tummy hurts so bad! I can't even do the dishes because I can't stand to get up next to the darn sink!
In really great news, my body is giving me all the signs that it is ready for a baby. It probably shouldn't surprise me that these signs are very strong and abundant considering my ovaries are very very full.
And someone asked what ovary pain felt like. I feel pressure, twisting, throbbing, and stabbing pains. It's uncomfortable, but I know things are going well. It hurts if pressure is placed on my tummy (from the allergic reaction and the ovaries). It also really hurts if my bladder gets to full kinda like when you are really really pregnant.
So, we'll trigger tomorrow. Should ovulate Monday morning(ish). I'll start progesterone support on Monday evening and Monday October 17 I'll go in for a pregnancy test. So we are in the final stretch! Please be thinking sticky egg vibes this weekend and next week. I'm hopeful and excited and ready!
My stomach looks awful. It's littered with little bruises but the big thing is that I'm having some sort of skin reaction to the injections of Repronex. From one side of my tummy to the other is one giant hive that is raised, red, hurts, and itches. I was told that this was somewhat common with Repronex but the website says 5 in 100. I've been slathering on hydrocortisone cream like it's going out of style. The funny thing is that the hive doesn't appear until the next morning (I take the Repronex at night). So I have two different injection sites that have meshed into one and another one that should pop up in the morning. I just got back from the drugstore with some oral Benadryl. I'm going to start popping those. My tummy hurts so bad! I can't even do the dishes because I can't stand to get up next to the darn sink!
In really great news, my body is giving me all the signs that it is ready for a baby. It probably shouldn't surprise me that these signs are very strong and abundant considering my ovaries are very very full.
And someone asked what ovary pain felt like. I feel pressure, twisting, throbbing, and stabbing pains. It's uncomfortable, but I know things are going well. It hurts if pressure is placed on my tummy (from the allergic reaction and the ovaries). It also really hurts if my bladder gets to full kinda like when you are really really pregnant.
So, we'll trigger tomorrow. Should ovulate Monday morning(ish). I'll start progesterone support on Monday evening and Monday October 17 I'll go in for a pregnancy test. So we are in the final stretch! Please be thinking sticky egg vibes this weekend and next week. I'm hopeful and excited and ready!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Cycle Day 10
I'm okay. I kind of vanished for a bit there and I apologize. Life has been super busy. Saturday I had an ultrasound and blood draw. All looks well, and at that point my left ovary looked a bit sluggish, but was responding. My estradiol level came back at 97 (we're aiming for 100) and so my meds were increased from 150iu to 200iu. My estradiol should be doubling every 2 days at this point so on Monday I went back for another ultrasound. Both right and left ovaries have "a bunch" (nurses words not mine) of follicles all measuring at about 9mm in size. Right where they should be at this point. My left ovary seems to have pulled ahead and is looking a bit better than the right side, though they both ache all day long. My estradiol level came back at a whopping 245! So, I was told to take 200iu yesterday and 175iu today. Tomorrow AM I go back in for another blood draw and u/s. Hopefully this time both ovaries will be on track and we'll get a better count. We weren't really able to count last time because my bladder was full, though I didn't feel like I had to go to the potty until that dang u/s wand was um, you know, put into position. So alls well right now. I have all of my drugs. Erich asked me if I was planning on opening a pharmacy on our front porch. heh.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
The Man With A Plan
Yesterday morning I went in for my (obviously negative) beta HCG blood draw. I was informed that I needed to make an appointment with Dr. H and I would have to wait a cycle before starting drugs again. Almost in tears, I approached the counter, paid my balance, and asked to make an appt. She asked me how soon I wanted it and I asked for this week, because I knew I'd forget all the questions mulling around in my head if I waited to long. She said she had an appt that afternoon at 2:15 and I jumped on it. :)
So Magdalena and I went and found Daddy who had a service call early that morning. We went to a couple of computer stores and then went to Chilis for lunch. After that Daddy had to head to work and Magdalena and I went to Wild Oats for some Bac Out and then to Target. At about 1:30 we headed back towards the doctors office arriving there around 2pm. Magdalena was asleep and I somehow managed to carry her in to the office without waking her up.
We waited, waited, and waited some more. Around 3:15 they called me back and I chatted with the nurses. At about 3:30, Dr. H came in. He apologized over and over about leaving me waiting so long with an almost 2 year old. And then he apologized for not getting the results we wanted. He said he was sorry it didn't work. I pointed out that it did work (I made eggs) but we didn't achieve the wanted outcome. :) He said I should be the doctor, that sounds exactly what a doctor would say.
We talked about how my left ovary stopped responding and he agreed that it was probably "resting" since last month it was the over achiever. We talked about an IUI and how Erich really doesn't want to do that and Dr. H made it clear that he didn't think an IUI would make the difference for us. And then he laid out the plan...
The plan is to start out on Follistim at 150units. (Last month we started at 125units.) Towards the middle of my cycle he will give me a drug called Antagon which will essentially shut down my pituitary gland so that it won't send out the surge and make me ovulate. Since he is shutting down my pituitary gland he has to add in another fertility drug called Repronex. When he gets the desired amount of follicles at the desired size he'll trigger with Novarel (HCG). Three days after ovulation I'll be put on progesterone support since my pituatary gland may need a bit of help after the Antagon. The progesterone they will put me on is Crinone.
After the plan was laid, I asked if he really wanted me to wait a month. I really wanted to keep going and he agreed that I could as long as I didn't have any big cysts or such from the drugs last cycle. So he sent me in and did my baseline u/s immediately and all is well in my ovaries. And so we were given the thumbs up to keep going. :)
So there you have it. :) Injections start today. I'm 99% positive that I'm going to be hurting when I get done with this cycle. That is a lot of injections, sometimes 3 a day plus every other day blood draws. Not to mention the butt shot and all the vaginal u/s. Of course all of that sex will wear me out too. ;) But hopefully in 14 days (or so) I'll be incubating a tiny embryo, and hopefully in 28 days, I'll be puking and not bleeding and otherwise blissfully pregnant. So start contorting your bodies and crossing things and sending me some baby vibes. And you ladies are the best in case you didn't already know it. Thank you for following my journey and being anxious and hopefuly with me, it means the world to me and helps SO much.
So Magdalena and I went and found Daddy who had a service call early that morning. We went to a couple of computer stores and then went to Chilis for lunch. After that Daddy had to head to work and Magdalena and I went to Wild Oats for some Bac Out and then to Target. At about 1:30 we headed back towards the doctors office arriving there around 2pm. Magdalena was asleep and I somehow managed to carry her in to the office without waking her up.
We waited, waited, and waited some more. Around 3:15 they called me back and I chatted with the nurses. At about 3:30, Dr. H came in. He apologized over and over about leaving me waiting so long with an almost 2 year old. And then he apologized for not getting the results we wanted. He said he was sorry it didn't work. I pointed out that it did work (I made eggs) but we didn't achieve the wanted outcome. :) He said I should be the doctor, that sounds exactly what a doctor would say.
We talked about how my left ovary stopped responding and he agreed that it was probably "resting" since last month it was the over achiever. We talked about an IUI and how Erich really doesn't want to do that and Dr. H made it clear that he didn't think an IUI would make the difference for us. And then he laid out the plan...
The plan is to start out on Follistim at 150units. (Last month we started at 125units.) Towards the middle of my cycle he will give me a drug called Antagon which will essentially shut down my pituitary gland so that it won't send out the surge and make me ovulate. Since he is shutting down my pituitary gland he has to add in another fertility drug called Repronex. When he gets the desired amount of follicles at the desired size he'll trigger with Novarel (HCG). Three days after ovulation I'll be put on progesterone support since my pituatary gland may need a bit of help after the Antagon. The progesterone they will put me on is Crinone.
After the plan was laid, I asked if he really wanted me to wait a month. I really wanted to keep going and he agreed that I could as long as I didn't have any big cysts or such from the drugs last cycle. So he sent me in and did my baseline u/s immediately and all is well in my ovaries. And so we were given the thumbs up to keep going. :)
So there you have it. :) Injections start today. I'm 99% positive that I'm going to be hurting when I get done with this cycle. That is a lot of injections, sometimes 3 a day plus every other day blood draws. Not to mention the butt shot and all the vaginal u/s. Of course all of that sex will wear me out too. ;) But hopefully in 14 days (or so) I'll be incubating a tiny embryo, and hopefully in 28 days, I'll be puking and not bleeding and otherwise blissfully pregnant. So start contorting your bodies and crossing things and sending me some baby vibes. And you ladies are the best in case you didn't already know it. Thank you for following my journey and being anxious and hopefuly with me, it means the world to me and helps SO much.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
June Baby Anyone?
Well, we're moving on. Started bleeding this morning. I'm sure we'll be starting the next round of drugs in a couple of days. Thanks for the well wishes.
Friday, September 16, 2005
No News and Some News
Okay, well I was saying before that if I make it to Friday without bleeding then I'd be home free. See this is two weeks from my trigger, and last month I started bleeding two weeks from trigger (12dpo). So it's Friday and I'm not bleeding.
Monday I decided that I'd get a three pack of tests and amuse myself (and occupy) by taking a test on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I figured, if they came back positive then I could hold out hope, right? Well, Monday evenings test was a big fat negative. So I just shrugged it off. Wednesday test was a faint positive. Faint is the key word here. I said it was the trigger shot (while my friend Krista started getting a wee bit excited). So I couldn't wait until Friday and Thursdays test was another faint positive. Krista said if it were trigger than the line should disappear, right? I said if it were a pregnancy, it would get darker right? She said that didn't happen with the pregnancy she is currently in.
So that brings us to today. I'm not bleeding, I don't feel like I'm going to bleed. I'm 12 dpo, early. I just took an eqate test with the plus minus thing and there is a faint vertical line in the pregnancy part. It didn't really show up until minute 8, but anything within the 10 minute window is still valid, so I've read. And it's very very faint. But I've been told over and over and over again "a line is a line is a line is a line..." **sigh** I have enough tests to get me through Monday (my blood draw day) and to Wednesday (which would be a second blood draw if Mondays is positive.) This line could STILL BE FROM THE TRIGGER SHOT. So wait with me a few more days ladies. Things look hopeful, but I dont' want to get to hopeful, yk? Keep everything crossed. I'll see you on the other side (Monday afternoon). And I'll leave you with a visual of my kitchen window... (they are in the kitchen window because that is where the best light is **wink**)
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Where Am I?
Probably in front of the TV eating. I have this hunger that can not be satisfied. It's starting to get annoying. And if you are wondering the kinds of things I've eaten today? I made beef stew and cream cheese muffins. If you knew me, you'd know that I'm really not one for beef stew. In fact, my mom asked me why I was making beef stew since I don't like it. **shrugs** It sounded good. And it was okay. And the muffins were okay too. The cantaloupe was great but the salsa con queso was a bit salty. I'm already a big girl so all of this eating probably isn't helping. I had fully intended to walk to the PO today (yk, to off set the eating) but it was 95 degrees today. No sir, I won't walk in that heat. So either I'm getting ready for AF, or there is a baby who is jumping on the eating bandwagon.
And unlike last month where I had a definite feeling that things didn't work, I'm lost this month. Some moments I think "nah" and other moments I feel "maybe?" Is it Friday yet?
And unlike last month where I had a definite feeling that things didn't work, I'm lost this month. Some moments I think "nah" and other moments I feel "maybe?" Is it Friday yet?
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Popping In
I just wanted to say that on Friday we got some really good news. :) My right ovary, the overachiever that it is, produced three GORGEOUS follicles. They are 19mm, 20.5mm, and 25mm in size respectively.
After talking to my cousin who has the triplets, her follicles were 17mm, 18mm, and 19mm. :) So I'm feeling good about my GIANT follicles. I hurt a lot though, well I did. The pain has eased. I most likely ovulated around 7am this morning.
We triggered on Friday evening. My cousin, L, gave me the shot. This time it didn't hurt so much during the shot, but the next day and even this morning I am SORE! My arms look awful as I think my veins blew on the draws on both Wednesday and Friday. People give me weird looks and I want to say, hey if you think the bruises on my arms are bad, you should see my stomach!
We were told to have "relation" on Saturday and Sunday. I'm hoping that those swimmers don't hesitate to stop for directions. Though, with those GIANT follicles, they won't be missed! They are standing there saying "get me! get me!" LOL And let me tell you, it's weird to be told to have relations with your husband. Really, it is.
So that is the update. On Sept 19th I go for a beta HCG draw. So all of you fertile myrtles, send me some sticky egg vibes! And some baby dust! Oh, and PRAY that those swimmers are man enough to stop for directions and find their way to my GIANT eggs!!!
After talking to my cousin who has the triplets, her follicles were 17mm, 18mm, and 19mm. :) So I'm feeling good about my GIANT follicles. I hurt a lot though, well I did. The pain has eased. I most likely ovulated around 7am this morning.
We triggered on Friday evening. My cousin, L, gave me the shot. This time it didn't hurt so much during the shot, but the next day and even this morning I am SORE! My arms look awful as I think my veins blew on the draws on both Wednesday and Friday. People give me weird looks and I want to say, hey if you think the bruises on my arms are bad, you should see my stomach!
We were told to have "relation" on Saturday and Sunday. I'm hoping that those swimmers don't hesitate to stop for directions. Though, with those GIANT follicles, they won't be missed! They are standing there saying "get me! get me!" LOL And let me tell you, it's weird to be told to have relations with your husband. Really, it is.
So that is the update. On Sept 19th I go for a beta HCG draw. So all of you fertile myrtles, send me some sticky egg vibes! And some baby dust! Oh, and PRAY that those swimmers are man enough to stop for directions and find their way to my GIANT eggs!!!
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Random Stuff
The appointment went well yesterday. I'm not going to go into the details, but there are follicles and my estradiol more than doubled again. It was 277 on Monday, and yesterday it was 625. They did increase my meds again. I hope I trigger on Friday, because if not I'll have to buy more meds. Ugh.
In really great news (and bad too) my ovaries really really really hurt. They feel large like golf balls and they are constantly achy. They are heavy and hurt when stepped on by toddlers. My stomach is also getting bruised and battered and my arms look like an IV drug users from the four pokes I've gotten on each doctor visit.
In other news, I've decided that I need to stop sitting in front of the computer so much. I have so much stuff that has to get done like correspondence, reading, some writing, knitting, canning (still), and baking. Not to mention that my house has been slipping because I'm so tired lately. I'm not sure why I'm so tired, maybe my body working to hard to make eggs? Who knows, but if I cut back my computer time, I'll get the other stuff done. In fact this morning, I've gotten the laundry going, vacuumed the carpet in the LR, playroom, and entrance. I've pulled off the cushions on the couch and chairs and vacuumed up stray cheerios. I made Magdalenas breakfast and cleaned the DR table off. I sprayed out poopy diapers and set some in the sun to bleach stains. I've been very productive. So my plan is to get up, check my forum, read email and blogs and then shut the computer off until I've completed a bulk of my tasks. Then I'll check stuff again, and turn it off to do the rest of my tasks. And right before bed, I'll check blogs and email again. Sounds like a plan, huh? Now if I can stick to it.
Also, I've taken over Hip Attachment for Lili. If you haven't been over in a while, go and post! If you aren't registered, well what are you waiting for?
In really great news (and bad too) my ovaries really really really hurt. They feel large like golf balls and they are constantly achy. They are heavy and hurt when stepped on by toddlers. My stomach is also getting bruised and battered and my arms look like an IV drug users from the four pokes I've gotten on each doctor visit.
In other news, I've decided that I need to stop sitting in front of the computer so much. I have so much stuff that has to get done like correspondence, reading, some writing, knitting, canning (still), and baking. Not to mention that my house has been slipping because I'm so tired lately. I'm not sure why I'm so tired, maybe my body working to hard to make eggs? Who knows, but if I cut back my computer time, I'll get the other stuff done. In fact this morning, I've gotten the laundry going, vacuumed the carpet in the LR, playroom, and entrance. I've pulled off the cushions on the couch and chairs and vacuumed up stray cheerios. I made Magdalenas breakfast and cleaned the DR table off. I sprayed out poopy diapers and set some in the sun to bleach stains. I've been very productive. So my plan is to get up, check my forum, read email and blogs and then shut the computer off until I've completed a bulk of my tasks. Then I'll check stuff again, and turn it off to do the rest of my tasks. And right before bed, I'll check blogs and email again. Sounds like a plan, huh? Now if I can stick to it.
Also, I've taken over Hip Attachment for Lili. If you haven't been over in a while, go and post! If you aren't registered, well what are you waiting for?
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Smells Like Teen Spirit
It's raining here. Katrina is well traveled. The winds are picking up and we are about to catch the worst of her, or what is left of the worst. I love the rain, I hate the devastation it has caused, but ah, the rain. It's going to be glorious to cuddle up in bed with my husband and daughter tonight while the rain pitter patters against the window panes. The great part is that the rain smells like fall. There is a very distinctive smell of summer rain and of fall rain, and this definitely smells like fall. I'm so excited for fall. The beautiful leaves and the cool evenings... **sigh**
Another u/s first thing in the morning. We are getting really close to trigger. My ovaries ache, my head has been pounding since last Wednesday and I'm just ready to have a little baby growing inside of me. Seven, at least one has to stick, right?
Another u/s first thing in the morning. We are getting really close to trigger. My ovaries ache, my head has been pounding since last Wednesday and I'm just ready to have a little baby growing inside of me. Seven, at least one has to stick, right?
Monday, August 29, 2005
A Meme
3 things I bet aren’t in/on your
Fridge:
1) tylenol suppositories
2) a bunch of fertility drugs
3) a convection oven (on top of my fridge)
Desk:
1) a payoff notice for our car loan (we just refinanced)
2) a four keyboards
3) a bunch of syringes
Car:
1) syringe and needle (these treatments seem to be scattered across my life huh?)
2) cheerios (all over the floor)
3) knitting bag full of yarn and projects
Fridge:
1) tylenol suppositories
2) a bunch of fertility drugs
3) a convection oven (on top of my fridge)
Desk:
1) a payoff notice for our car loan (we just refinanced)
2) a four keyboards
3) a bunch of syringes
Car:
1) syringe and needle (these treatments seem to be scattered across my life huh?)
2) cheerios (all over the floor)
3) knitting bag full of yarn and projects
Early Response
Okay, so I've been going along and giving myself injections every day. I'm taking 125 units every night. Saturday morning I went to have an u/s and bloodwork. We saw several follicles and my estradiol level was 135. (They like your estradiol to be around 100.) So alls well.
Today I went back for another u/s and bloodwork. (I'll be going every other day until trigger.) We saw big fat follicles! I'm not going to spit the number out, but I'm going to make you work for it. I'm going to ask you a question and the answer is the number of follicles. Ready?
How many dwarfs were in Snow White?
I'll wait for you to get up off the floor when you figure out the number! :) My estradiol level is 277 today! (They want it to double every two days!) All follicles are between 12mm and 14mm in size. They want the follicles to be 18mm in size to trigger. So they are stepping up my meds to 150 tonight and tomorrow. Wednesday is another u/s and we may trigger sometime between Wednesday and Friday! :)
So, I'm going to need all the baby dust, sticky egg, healthy sperm, stars in the right line VIBEs you can send me! So excited!
Today I went back for another u/s and bloodwork. (I'll be going every other day until trigger.) We saw big fat follicles! I'm not going to spit the number out, but I'm going to make you work for it. I'm going to ask you a question and the answer is the number of follicles. Ready?
How many dwarfs were in Snow White?
I'll wait for you to get up off the floor when you figure out the number! :) My estradiol level is 277 today! (They want it to double every two days!) All follicles are between 12mm and 14mm in size. They want the follicles to be 18mm in size to trigger. So they are stepping up my meds to 150 tonight and tomorrow. Wednesday is another u/s and we may trigger sometime between Wednesday and Friday! :)
So, I'm going to need all the baby dust, sticky egg, healthy sperm, stars in the right line VIBEs you can send me! So excited!
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