Sunday, January 04, 2004

Keeping Quiet

I tend to keep quiet about the choices Erich and I have made mutually for our upcoming arrival and what we want to see done with our family in general. For instance we will be cloth diapering and practicing extended breastfeeding. These choices are both for medical, mental, and financial reasons. There are other things we tend to talk about but that is not the point of this post.

My point was headed towards the fact that I tend to keep quiet at work about these choices. My co-workers find me a bit crazy about the cloth diapering issue. My boss said, " oh yeah, my sister decided to do that and she only does 450 loads of laundry a day." My other boss said, "are you one of those nazi breastfeeding freaks?" after I pointed out that breastfed baby poop is much easier to clean in diapers. A question that I had to answer yes to. She wanted to get into a heated debate with me, about how she had to use formula because her son wouldn't have eaten. She tried to breastfeed, but because of the breast reduction she had done, she couldn't keep up an adequate supply. A conversation which I just nodded and offered my condolenses. No, it isn't something I would agree with doing, I don't want to use formula period. (I try very hard to get rid of all of those samples of formula they keep sending me just in case we do have some issues at the beginning, I won't be tempted to just give up.) Back to the point, I wouldn't argue with her. I didn't really feel like she should have been so defensive because I wasn't accusing her of anything . I told her that as long as she felt she made the best decisions for her and her family (something of which she said she had) then I applauded her. That's all we can do as parents, right? Hope that we make the best decision for our situations and our families. Now, I don't agree with using formula, but it wasn't my family nor was it my decision. End of discussion.

So last week I'm at lunch with two co-workers. We are talking about choices and in laws and what not but somehow we get to the conversation of breastfeeding. I say that I intend to breastfeed, they ask how long, I say exclusively until she's 6 months, and I'll give her table food when she starts to show me she wants to eat some. They ask, "well when do you plan to wean?" I say, "not until about 2yrs, and only then if shes ready and shows me she wants to wean." So they ask, " well what do you mean by 'when she wants to wean'? it's your decision, it's your body, and you can't do it forever." I say that I believe it will be more of a mutual decision between all of us (Erich, myself, and baby) and we believe she will let us know when she is ready. So this NURSE ( I capitalize this because I couldn't believe the words I heard come out of this woman who is a registered nurse!), tells the other chick we're with that it is only medically beneficial to an infant to breastfeed for 6 weeks. And then she goes on to say that she was watching on a TV show about how women who breastfed beyond one year were getting some sort of sexual pleasure from it. I have to wonder silently to myself if she was watching Jerry Springer or some other very educational show but I didn't say it out loud. This woman and I have aleady had issues about racial comments she has made but that is a different story. Needless to say, I looked like a freak and a pedifile for saying that yes I did plan to nurse beyond one year of age. They didn't want to know about my educated research, articles, and opinions from leading health experts. They didn't want to hear about the anesthesiologist who breastfed her last baby until she was 2 because of the benefits her daughter reaps because of the bf'ing. Oh no, they chose to believe the uneducated, racist nurse who watched a Jerry Springer like show and chose to open her stupid mouth.

So this is why I'm so quiet on these topics. I'm tired of looking like a freak. If you so choose, please discuss in the comments.

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