Sunday, December 28, 2003

Adjustments and Changes

As I finished up my 35th week of pregnancy yesterday and am charging into my 36th week lots of things are occuring. For one, my somewhat under control hormones have blown into full swing again. I watched Lucy get married on Seventh Heaven yesterday and I was a mess. In the show, her parents kept having flashbacks and seeing her as a baby and a toddler and a little girl. I was bawling thinking that I too would be there someday (hopefully in like 40, heh). Sheesh.

Also, I've told Erich that I am completely filled with awe, joy and extreme anticipation yet at the same time, I am completely scared shitless. Never in my life have I ever felt this way before. I'm sure he feels the same way. He says that if he were me he would just be scared of the way this baby has to exit my body. That isn't so much what is scaring me. The fact that I am forever responsible for this tiny perfect creature and that my flaws could rub on to her terrifies me. I'm sure this is normal and everyone feels this way, right?

In addition to Erich and I feeling the pressure of change and the very close arrival of our first born daughter, we realize this is a huge change for the rest of our family... mainly the dogs. It's funny how these dogs become such an intricate and important part of our families. Gracy, the older brown dog, will have no problem with this baby. I know that Gracy is very good with babies/kids and is just not interested in having our undivided attention anymore. She is old, set in her ways, and quite content just napping by our side. :) Ella, who thinks that she is our first born daughter, is going to have a bit more adjusting to do. And just like Gracy had to learn to be with kids, Ella now has to learn. I have no fear that Ella will be great with this baby and that they will be life long friends. I just want to make sure we do this right.

My mom and stepdad bought us the 4 in 1 play yard and also the boppy for Christmas. She also got us another sleep sack which I think will be great at night. The play yard has a bassinet and that is what we will be using in our room. Erich set it up in the nursery the other day, and today we moved it into our bedroom. We figured it would give us time to adjust to having it in there and moving around at night. It will also serve to help the dogs adjust and prepare. We took out a baby doll that looks "life like" and let Ella smell her while we held her and talked to both of them. Hopefully this will get Ella used to having a baby around, and we set the baby doll in the bassinet. We'll see what happens.

Other than that, not a lot going on around here. Just a lazy day. Yesterday we went down to Erichs brothers house and he helped him clean out the barn. MIL and I went to an outlet mall thirty minutes away. I bought Erich three pairs of pants. I also bought two baby outfits from the Carters Warehouse. MIL bought baby an outfit and a Christmas baby doll that was on clearance. (Now lets just see if she can find it next year!) She bought me a nursing shirt (yay my first one) and I bought myself a nursing bra (yay! also my first one!). Now I must go continue being lazy. :)

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