What's that sound?

That would be me, hyperventilating. That stinking bird is really getting to me. I think I have the whole cooking thing down. Nana talked to me last night and walked me through the process. Like a good student, I diligently took notes. I'm going to cook the bird on my gas grill, thus freeing up space for my rolls, pie, and casseroles in the oven. So why am I hyperventilating?

The bird is still frozen. Sure parts of it feel thawed, but one big hunk feels frozen. I put it in the fridge on Wednesday. It only weighs 12 pounds. This page and this page say that it only needs 24 hours per 5 pounds, so it should be thawed by Saturday. But it isn't. My mom says to not worry about it. That once I take all the stuff out of the middle and give it the remaining 16 hours till I have to cook it, that it will be thawed enough. I do know that it can go into the grill a bit frozen, just takes longer. So I'm going to increase my cooking time and throw it on the grill at 6:30am instead of 7am. Family is supposed to be here at 11am and we are supposed to sit down and eat at 11:30. So, really I should be OK.

I need to remember to show Erich the video that shows how to carve the turkey. We are going to be all fancy pancy over here and carve at the table. Cool, eh? (But remember I won't be carving because that squicks me out.)

I'm getting ready to set the table now. My mom bought me a tablecloth that goes well with my dining room and will work for Christmas also. She scored a rocking deal as it was normally priced for $40 and it was 66% off. She bought it for $13 and change. I already pressed my napkins last night and they are already in the napkin rings. (I said we were going to be fancy pancy.) So I'll get the tablecloth on and then I will wash all the china and set it out. I'm going to get out the wine glasses, but we'll all be drinking water. I'm not offering anything else, to help smooth the bumps in the day. We'll have coffee and milk with desert.

So I should get going and set my table and wash dishes and stuff. Do you think I can convince Erich to take me out to Outback tonight to satisfy my hankering for a steak and some of those cheesy fries with ranch sauce? It'd be nice, because I don't want to touch anything so it's all ready to go in the morning, without having to wash dishes at 5am.