Thursday, October 28, 2004

The Great Baby Quest

As promised, I'm going to update you on the TTC plans. They aren't much right now. I've had a freaky week though and my mind is constantly turning things over. My official appointment to start metformin (which is SAFE during breastfeeding woo!) is November 22. That's like 3 Mondays from now. Wow.

I had a crazy dream the other night. --- I dreamt that I was pregnant and I started going into pre-eclampsia like I did with Magdalena. They told me they needed to induce, but since I had already consented for an elective c-section (failure to progress, cephalopelvic disproportion) they would section me that evening. I called Erich on the phone so that he could be there. I'm not really sure if he ever made it there. Anyways, they rolled me in for my csection and took the baby out. This entire time I thought she was a she because apparently I had an ultrasound or something. Anyways I was like 36 weeks and a bit early so they took the baby to the NICU to make sure she was okay. They stitched me up and I stood up off the table (pretty cool trick after having a csection huh?) and walked (heh) to the NICU. When I got there, I asked for my baby. The lady said "I believe she is that one over there." The baby she pointed to was the HUGE baby and I said "this can't be my baby. She's to big! I have small babies and the tag doesn't say my name." The nurse replied, "well, then your baby is probably underneath that one." (???) So I rolled this big baby over and underneath was this itty bitty baby who looked ALMOST identical to Magdalena as a newborn. And the baby wasn't a girl, but a boy. I went to nurse the baby and found out he was tongue tied to like Magdalena was. At the end of the dream I was in search of the doctor that clipped Magdalenas tongue, so she could clip Baby Boys tongue too and Magdalena and Baby Boy were both squirming to nurse. --- Now is that a crazy dream or what? Whatcha think it means???

So with that crazy dream on my mind I decided to take an OP test (ovulation predictor). I had some leftover in the bathroom from last years TTC days. And it came out... drumroll... positive. LH surge with ovulation predicted in the coming days. And today.... drumroll... my temperature dropped signaling ovulation. I took another OP and it was negative which means that LH surge is over which would make sense because the LH surge comes BEFORE ovulation. Looking back at the chart I conceived Magdalena with, I surged, temp dropped, ovulated, pregnant. Which is what is currently happening.

See the thing that has me all nervous and such is that I can't possibly believe that my body is doing what it is supposed to be doing. And I hate this waiting. My entire body is tense with the what ifs. And I should relax because if my body did go ahead and release an egg like it was supposed to since I had all the signals of ovulation and need to be calm for that little egg and sperm to meet and make Magdalena a big sister. Oy.

And even though all these things happened, it doesn't mean that my body actually released the egg. My body has done crazier things. I need a glass window to see what is going on in there. This is driving me nutso.

Oh, and I've lost 15 pounds to date. Woot.

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